Against the Odds (Fighting to Survive #2)(9)

“Come on, Sweets, let’s get you and my baby to bed.”

Leah reaches for my hand and says, “I don’t think I can sleep. I’m so excited about this room.”

“Looks like I’ll have to burn off some of that excitement.” I wink at her and lead her out of the nursery.

Leah

The next morning when I get up Robert isn’t in bed. I never hear Robert when he gets up. I, on the other hand, moan, groan, and waddle out of bed. I think that I could possibly even wake the neighbors. Before leaving the bedroom, I write out thank you cards to our friends for everything they did yesterday. I would like to do something special for them, but with the impending news from the attorney, it’s just not a good time.

I walk out of the bedroom in search of stamps and Robert. I stop at Jamie’s bedroom. The door is open and her room is bright. The sunshine shines through her windows, bringing life into the room. When Jamie died, we left the curtains and door closed; it was just too sad to look in. Now, when I walk past and see her bed and her personal things, I am reminded of how much I love her, how much I loved having her here. Looking on the nightstand, I see her pictures are missing. They have been moved into the nursery for the new baby to enjoy. I smile. It’s probably the first I had been near Jamie’s room in a long time.

I say, “I love you, baby girl,” before turning towards the nursery across the hall. I look into the sage green and white nursery. I smile. It is so inviting, beautiful, and sweet. I place my hand on my belly and walk into the room. Walking around the room, I look at and touch everything. I open the dresser drawers and they are empty. It saddens me. I open the closet and it is also empty. I have less than two months, and this baby doesn’t have anything to wear. I’ve been in mourning over Jamie and trying to accept that we may — we do — have a five-year-old daughter, and so I haven’t focused on this baby. I know what I need to do and I decide that today I’ll do it.

I expect to find Robert working out, but I find him at the kitchen table, instead. He is sitting there shirtless, wearing his gray sleep pants. Sitting in front of him is a box that holds Jamie’s things. A locket of her hair, her baptism dress, and the records from the hospital, among other things. I get a knot in my belly, almost like a feeling of doom. He looks up at me with sadness spread across his face. I know my Robert tries to hold it together, but I also know he struggles with it. I need to be strong for him, although the black cloud is hovering.

“Good morning, Ace,” I say as I walk over to sit next to him at the table.

He tries to smile, but his smile is weak. “Good morning, Sweets.” He clears his throat and says, “We got a call today.”

He doesn’t have to say anything else. I know it’s from the attorney. Before, when he said that I would have thought it was a call from Gus about a fight. But today, I know it’s from Bruce and it is about the baby swap. Keep it together, Leah.

“When do we meet with them?” I try to make my voice stay monotone. I don’t want my voice to reflect my inner hysteria.

“Tomorrow morning. Bruce said the parents and child are supposed to be there with their attorneys.”

Keep it together, Leah. “Good, I’m ready to meet our daughter,” I say honestly. That came out unexpectedly, but it’s the truth.

“You are?” Robert looks up and I can see hope in his eyes.

I’m never the strong one in the family and it feels good. “I am.” Am I? Don’t wiggle out now, Leah. Hold it together for Robert. I can do this. “We have another daughter and I want to be involved in her life. I’m ready for us to be her parents.” This honesty thing is working out. To verbally say what you really think, it feels good. “I’m ready to be her mom. But I have some things that need to get done today.”

The sadness is leaving Robert’s face and he asks, “Like what?”

“Like mail these,” I say, holding up the thank you cards. “I want to shop for our five-year-old daughter.”

“Some clothes and toys to make her feel welcome when she comes. That sounds like a good idea.”

“And I want to shop online for the baby. He has nothing to wear when he gets here.”

“He?” he asks.


“Or she.”

“Or she,” he repeats. “It would be nice if we knew what to shop for. Pale pinks or baby blues.”

I ponder his words. It would be nice. Will we have another daughter or will it be a son?

“I think we should find out what we’re having,” I blurt out.

“You do?”

I look at him and smile. “I think it would be nice. I know the gender isn’t important, but wouldn’t it be nice to know who will be sleeping in the nursery?”

“It would. We already have two daughters, and a son may be nice to add to our growing family.”

I am relieved that Robert’s sadness is vanishing. “Or another girl to add to our already increasing estrogen level.”

Robert pulls on his hair and says, “Another girl? That’ll make three girls and a wife. I’m recently hoping for a boy,” he jokes.

“You’ll be just as thrilled with a girl.”

“I will be.”

“So we can find out?” I ask hopefully.

“We can.”