After the Wedding (The Worth Saga #2)(96)

Grayson swallowed his bite of apple.

“No,” Adrian said, “he did not ever say please.”

“I wasn’t going to ask.” Grayson took another bite.

“Oh, I don’t mind.” Adrian picked up his own apple. “You want to say it. ‘I told you so.’ Just like that. Go ahead.”

His brother chewed and swallowed again, then slowly pushed to his feet and came to stand near Adrian. He reached out and slowly set his hand on Adrian’s head. “You utter nincompoop,” he said steadily. “I have never wanted to say ‘I told you so’ to you. All I ever wanted was to know that you were safe and secure and happy. How hard is it to understand that I don’t want you hurt?”

Adrian stared up at him. Grayson gave Adrian’s forehead an affectionate rub.

“Stop that.” Adrian batted his hand away.

“I wanted to see if you were doing well,” Grayson said, “because I care about your well-being, and it is obvious you’ve had a difficult time of it. Not because I wanted to tell you so.”

Well. Adrian blew out a breath and took a bite of his own apple. It was sweet and just a little tart, and the juice running down his chin gave him an opportunity to think.

“This is awkward,” he said finally. “I’ve spent days avoiding you because I was trying to figure out what to say when you so prominently did not tell me ‘I told you so,’ and now you’ve gone and said something kind and gracious instead. It’s maddening.”

Grayson just shrugged. “How dreadful of me. Would it make you feel better if I said ‘I told you so’ now, just so you could feel vindicated? You’re the one who’s had the month of gunpoint weddings and suchlike. I’ll defer to your wishes.”

“It feels petty to ask for it.”

“You should be more petty, not less so. Let me go ahead. ‘Adrian, I told you so.’” Grayson even managed to get the tone right.

“Oh, it doesn’t work like that! You can’t just throw it out with no context. It is supposed to come after we’ve had an entire argument about how I’m too trusting.”

“That sounds reasonable. You are too trusting.”

“You were supposed to tell me that you used to be more like me. That you didn’t want me hurt the way you were. That you were only trying to protect me.”

“All of that sounds like something I would say,” Grayson agreed. “Consider it said.”

“Then you’d say ‘I told you so.’”

“Right. Now we’re getting to the good part.” Grayson gestured expansively. “Please. Go on.”

Adrian looked down, examining his hands, and then looked up. “And I would say that nothing has changed. Maybe I should learn to be less trusting, but I knew when this whole thing started that it might not turn out well.”

“Really.” Grayson raised a single eyebrow.

“I didn’t tell you I knew it. Just because I didn’t want to admit that you were probably right doesn’t mean I didn’t know it.”

His brother smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind for every future argument we have. Please, finish.”

Where had he been? Right. “I care about you, too.” Adrian said. “I just wanted…” He looked up into his brother’s eyes, and felt all the helpless impotence of the last few weeks. “You’ll be gone on your telegraph cable laying trip soon. I have so much—so many advantages. I didn’t go to war. I’ve never gone hungry, not really. I have so much, and I don’t know why it’s come to me. I’m alive, and I shouldn’t be—and I thought if…if…” Adrian trailed off.

“If what?”

“If I could get Denmore to keep his promises, I could make it up to you.”

Grayson just frowned. “Make what up to me?”

“I could make up for the fact that I stayed here in comfort, and…”

“And our brothers died?”

Now that it was said aloud, it sounded silly. It was impossible to ever make that up. Nothing Adrian did could ever change that.

He shut his eyes. “You’re right. It’s stupid.”

Grayson reached over and set a hand on Adrian’s shoulder. “So. In your imagination, you thought I was going to be petty enough to say ‘I told you so’ but not petty enough to interrupt you three sentences into your monologue?”

“Idiot.”

“My apologies. I’m not good at moments like this. I don’t know what to say, except…” Grayson’s hand tightened on Adrian’s shoulder. “Adrian, they were your brothers, too. Not just mine.”

Adrian felt a hard core of emotion in his chest. He squared his jaw, resisting it.

“You cannot make up for their deaths, because they were not your fault. The only thing that brought me through the war was knowing that at least you were here. That you were safe.”

“But I have so much.” Adrian looked at Grayson. “I just want—I want…” He couldn’t finish his sentence. For a long moment, he struggled. “You’re my brother,” Adrian finally managed. “I want you to have the world.”

“I know.” Grayson put an arm around Adrian. “But I have you. If you take the world for yourself, it will be enough for me. I promise.”