After the Wedding (The Worth Saga #2)(95)

His uncle let out a long sigh. “How disappointing. A bare moment’s thought is all I get? After all that I’ve done for you.”

Adrian still felt raw from their last conversation. More; he had looked over the telegrams he’d exchanged with Denmore the day after the wedding. They’d firmed his resolve. He’d given his uncle the benefit of too many doubts.

The hell of it was that Adrian suspected that his uncle was being honest. He sincerely believed he had done everything for Adrian, because in his mind, Adrian deserved nothing and anything more than that exceeded his allotment. Likewise, he didn’t notice anything Adrian had done for him. He expected everything, and anything less than that was too little. All Adrian’s risk, all his worries? They didn’t count one whit, not in Denmore’s estimation.

His uncle had taught Adrian to rely on argument, not emotion. It was a shame he had never been able to take his own advice.

“You know,” Adrian said slowly, “I think you really believe that. You really believe that you care about me.”

“Of course I do.” His uncle pulled back. “You’re my own flesh and blood. How could I not care?”

“There are a number of ways that one shows what caring looks like.” Adrian closed his eyes. “For some people, caring takes the form of little gifts. Of looking out for your future. Or perhaps it’s saying the right words when it’s necessary, or maybe even being present when times are difficult. Caring is a mutual exchange of support in a thousand different ways.” He thought of Camilla telling him to stop shouldering all her burdens.

“Yes, of course.”

“When I think of the way you care for me,” Adrian said, “it looks like this: When you need something from me, you are willing to say you love me in private. Never in public.” He met his uncle’s eyes. “You may think that that is love. But what you expect of yourself is so much smaller than what you expect of me. That doesn’t feel like love to me.”

“That’s…” His uncle swallowed. “That’s entirely unfair, that characterization! You know I would acknowledge you, that I would do more, but…”

Adrian stood. He leaned forward. “If it were just me, maybe I’d continue on like this. I’ve been blessed with an overabundance. I try to take my share of burdens. But one day, I will have children. I have a brother; I have parents. A woman was married to me by force. They all deserve better. I cannot ask everyone else to shoulder your burdens, too.”

“Is that how you see this all?” His uncle stood. “I took you in when you were a boy.”

“I already had a place to stay. I visited you, and you made me your page,” Adrian corrected. “And then your secretary. You asked me to pose as a valet, but did nothing to help with the problems that resulted.”

There was a longer pause. He could see his uncle’s knuckles tremble. Finally, Denmore exhaled.

“Adrian. It will ruin us both, the truth—me and Bishop Lassiter alike. If they knew that my sister had progeny like you…”

Adrian pulled back, and his uncle flinched.

“I mean, if they knew that I asked my own nephew to serve as a valet! That I did something so ungentlemanly as to spy on another man to obtain an advantage… It will ruin me.”

Adrian just shook his head. “If you didn’t want your actions to ruin you, you shouldn’t have done them.”

His uncle just shook his head.

“Consider,” Adrian said. “Once you’re ruined, it won’t hurt you to invite my mother and her husband out for a visit. You may even find yourself better off.”



* * *



Adrian was still sitting in his office, staring off into a distant nothing, when his brother tapped on the door.

“Adrian?”

He had put off this conversation for far too long. Grayson had woken him the morning Camilla left and witnessed his panic.

They’d had the opportunity to speak since, but they just hadn’t done so. Largely by Adrian’s design.

He had excused himself as too busy. And he had been busy. There had been documents to purloin and telegrams to track down. There were filings and business still to be done. His older brother had waited patiently, giving Adrian glances that said I told you so when they met over breakfast. Grayson hadn’t needed to know precisely what had happened to know that it had been so irregular as to require an annulment.

Now their uncle had arrived—a shocking occurrence—and had left.

There was no getting around this moment. “Come in.” Adrian sighed.

Grayson tossed Adrian one of the apples he was holding before seating himself on the edge of the desk. “So,” he said. “Our dear uncle comes all the way from Gainshire—a two-hour journey—to visit his nephews. How unusual.” Grayson took a bite of his apple, crisp and new, and chewed it slowly as if he were contemplating.

“Go ahead.” Adrian sighed. “I know you’re going to subject me to a long string of questions that culminate in your looking at me and not saying ‘I told you so.’ You might as well do it.”

Grayson made a face and chewed faster.

No point waiting. Adrian bulled on ahead. “To answer the questions I know you are going to ask: Yes, Denmore did ask me to do something for him. He asked me to pose as a valet to find out information. And—don’t look at me like that—I said yes. Yes, it did all go to hell and back, and yes, there was a wedding at gunpoint, and yes, Denmore did refuse to help—multiple times—and yes, he did just come here to ask me to give up on seeking an annulment, because it might make him appear less than perfect in the public eye.”