Adrenaline (Speed Series Book 2)(63)

“Do you love her?”

It felt as if time stood still after Emmit asked me that one simple question. It was simple because it should have been easy to answer, yet I was struggling with my answer.

“No.”

He lifted his brows and looked me right in the eyes. “No. You don’t love her?”

“I’m not what she needs, Emmit. I’m not what she deserves.”

“And that is?” he asked with a smug look.

I felt nauseous as I struggled to keep talking. “Someone who will devote his entire world to her. Not someone who is going to lie and go behind her back. Treat her like dirt instead of confide in her when I’m pissed off at the world. She needs a guy who will make a promise to her and keep it. I didn’t do any of that.”

“You f*cked up, Malcolm. Don’t you think she’s worth trying to find out if she’ll give you another chance?”

The pictures Kathleen showed me popped into my head. “She’s moved on, so it’s really a moot point.”

Emmit laughed as he shook his head. “You really are a thick headed son-of-a-bitch, aren’t you?”

“Fuck you, Lewis. You can stand there and judge me with your perfect little world. You got what you wanted.”

“I did,” he replied with a smirk.

“Well good for you, because I don’t want that life.”

“I never said you did.”

Anger was beginning to build as I balled my fists. “Yeah, well good. The last thing I want to be is tied down with some clingy-ass woman and a bunch of kids running around screaming and yelling.”

Deuce took that moment to jump down and run to the door and bark.

“Fuck!” I shouted.

“You want to get rid of the dog too?”

I flashed him a dirty look.

“I get the feeling you want exactly what I have, Malcolm, and you want it with Paislie.”

Walking up to Emmit, I grabbed him by the shirt and pushed him against the wall. “Shut the f*ck up, Emmit or I swear I’ll punch you.”

He never once made a move to stop me. “Why don’t you tell me the real reason you’re pissed off, Wallace?”

I pushed him as hard as I could before turning and grabbing the dog’s leash. “Please be gone by the time I get back.”

Emmit grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop. “Don’t let her go. I’ve made the mistake of letting the woman I loved go and lost out on so much time. Trust me, Malcolm, you’ve got to let the guilt of Casey and the past go and look at what you have waiting for you now.”

Yanking my arm free, I turned away from him and pushed the door open. I needed air to breathe. Emmit was right behind me as I dragged in a deep breath of air.

I stared off toward the lights of the track as I slowly shook my head. “I’m no good for her. I’ll end up hurting her again and I’d rather die than see that look in her eyes like I saw before she left.” Looking over my shoulder at Emmit, I whispered, “If I stay away from her . . . I can’t hurt her.”

Emmit called out my name as I quickly started walking away with Deuce.





“SO, DO YOU WANT TO tell me what’s on your mind, Paislie?”

I looked at Elizabeth with a questioning look. “Nothing. Why?”

She shrugged and replied, “Let’s see, where should I start? You’ve been coming to mass for the last few Sundays. I’ve found you sitting in that same pew at least once a week with your head bowed down in prayer for the last month, you look like you’ve lost about ten pounds, you have dark circles, and your eyes hold a look of sadness.”

I snarled my lip at her as she talked.

“Shall I keep going?”

Shaking my head, I said, “No. Please stop before you really depress me more than I already am.”

She bit out a laugh then took a drink of her tea.

I pushed my food around on my plate before peeking back at her. “My eyes look sad?”

With a nod, she took a bite of her chicken potpie. “Yep.”

“How do you know it’s sad? Maybe I’m just tired from working this week.”

Her head snapped up as she peered at me. “I know sadness when I see it. It’s a look I’ve seen many times in my own eyes.”

My breath stalled as I chewed the corner of my lip. “Elizabeth, do you regret—”

“No.”

My mouth dropped open. “You don’t even know what I was going to ask you!” I exclaimed.

“I do. You were going to ask if I regretted becoming a nun. You always ask me that when you think I’ve been locked away for years crying my eyes out from a long lost love.”

Dropping back in my seat, I stared at her. “Father Tim.”

Her gaze fell.

I knew it!

I knew she had feelings for him.

“Does he feel the same way about you?” I asked as I reached across the table for her hand.

Her silence was my answer.

“Elizabeth, you can’t go through life denying how your heart feels.”

She laughed and shook her head. “I’m not sure I should be taking advice from someone who clearly is hiding from her own feelings.”

“Ouch!” I said as I shot her a dirty look. “If you weren’t a nun I might tell you to f*ck off.”