Adrenaline (Speed Series Book 2)(56)

The table erupted in laughter after Paul had told a joke and then quickly fell silent. “Is that . . . a helicopter?” I asked, as the noise grew louder.

Clarisse and Janet exchanged worried looks as Shirley and Paul did the same.

“I guess we know where Malcolm was,” Janet said as she stood up from the table.

I looked around confused. “Wait. Malcolm has a helicopter?”

Clarisse excused herself as she gathered up a few plates. “I’ll go heat up some food for Malcolm.”

Shirley smiled. “He used it a lot when he was racing. He liked to come back to Texas a lot and it was quick and easy for him.”

Clarisse reached for my plate as she said, “Ashley used it a lot when she would come and . . . um . . . visit.”

My head snapped up to look at her as her face blushed. She must have known she slipped.

Oh. My. God. It never occurred to me that Malcolm had actually had sex in his house with other women. All of a sudden I felt dirty. How many women had he screwed in his bed? Placing my hand over my stomach, I felt sick. Why did that bother me so much? Why was I under the allusion he never brought a girl here? Hell . . . if he flew Ashley here just to f*ck her, I’m sure there were plenty of other women he did the same for.

I jumped up, sliding the chair back, scaring both of Malcolm’s parents.

“Are you okay, Paislie?” Shirley asked, “You look white as a ghost.”

I shook my head. “I’m sorry. If you’ll excuse me.”

Quickly turning, I bolted out of the dining room. I needed air quickly. This feeling of being jealous of women who were in Malcolm’s past was foreign to me and I didn’t like the way it made me feel. I hated it as a matter of fact. It was Malcolm’s past.

Before I made it out of the room I ran smack into Malcolm, who reached his hands out to stop me from falling over.

“Where’s the fire?”

My mouth parted open, but words wouldn’t form. What if he flew to her today? What if he had been and I didn’t know? I’d been here for two months and never even knew he had a helicopter.

“Where were you?” I asked.

“I flew into Dallas . . . business meeting.”

Bile formed in my throat. “W-what kind of business meeting?”

“I talked with Mr. Elliot, my boss. Told him I met with one of the NASCAR doctors and they cleared me for racing.”

It felt like a piece of lead was in my stomach. I stood there dumbfounded as I let his words soak in. “You’ve been cleared to race? Malcolm . . . you still have issues with your knee and I know you’re hiding the pain. I can see it on your face.”

Something moved across his face as his eyes turned dark and not in good way. “You don’t know shit, Paislie. I need to be in that car. You don’t understand.”

I took a step back, my eyes filling with tears. “No. I don’t understand. Please enlighten me, Malcolm. Why do you have such a need to be behind the wheel? Are you trying to kill yourself?”

A look passed over his face . . . as if a memory hit him.

“I need the rush.”

“And you can’t get that rush from something else? From someone else?”

He looked at me like he wanted to say something, but kept his mouth shut. I scrubbed my hands down my face. “Why do you even bother to have me here doing therapy if you’re just going to do the things you want to do?”

“I don’t need therapy anymore. I’m fine now.”

It felt like I’d been slapped across my face as he gave me a blank stare. “So that’s it? Does that mean we’re through?”

His eyes softened. “Why would you say that?”

“Oh I don’t know, Malcolm. Because you’ve tried at least three times today to say or do something to push me away or cause me to hurt.”

“Hurt?” he asked with a puzzled look on his face.

“Call me crazy, but when the man you love tells you he liked the company of another woman today, tells you to shut up, then walks away from you and drives off with not so much as a goodbye. That f*cking hurts. I stood there like a damn fool while you drove off without saying a word to me. Nothing! You don’t do that to someone you care about.” I didn’t even care that his parents were standing in the room.

Horror filled his eyes as he glanced over my shoulder to his mother and back to me. “You don’t love me, Casey, you just think you do.”

My heart dropped and I couldn’t breathe. That was the final blow. I never imagined I could actually feel my heart breaking like I did that very moment.

Shirley gasped as I heard her walk over to me. I used to think the woman hated me, but in that moment, her hand on my shoulder told me she understood what I was feeling.

I slowly shook my head as tears rolled down my cheeks. Standing up taller, I squared off my shoulders and attempted to talk without my voice cracking while I quickly wiped my tears away. My chest felt as if someone had placed a hundred pound weight on it as I fought for the words to speak.

“You’re so wrong, Malcolm. I do love you and I’m sorry you don’t feel the same. I let you in and I honestly thought you were the last person in the world who would ever hurt me.” With the back of my fingers, I wiped more tears away as I turned my body but stopped. Slowly looking over my shoulder at him, I managed to say one last thing. “And my name is Paislie. Not Casey.”