Absolution(118)

She stared at him, wide-eyed. Where did it end? The lying, the secrets, the deceit – not only Jack but Callum was in on this too? It was too much. She blinked, the switch in her head shutting off while she dealt with all of this information behind closed doors.

She gathered up the first aid kit, the washcloth and the towel in silence, piling them on her lap and turning away from him. Heading for the bathroom on auto-pilot, she returned the first aid kit to its place in the cabinet and deposited the towel and washcloth into the laundry hamper in the corner. Not sure what to do next, she sat there, her back to the door.

“Ally?”

She sighed, glancing over her shoulder at Jack. “Look at you, you look like you’ve gone ten rounds with Tyson.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that,” she snapped, whirling around to face him.

“I was trying to protect you.”

She felt the fight leave her, fear and pain replacing it, obliterating everything else. She stared up at him defiantly. “Why does everyone think I need protecting? Am I so pathetic that no one thinks I can take the truth?”

He looked horrified at the prospect. “That’s not it – at all!”

“Isn’t it?”

“I just didn’t want to get you involved in this – I didn’t want you to end up getting hurt again because of me!”

Again with the guilt over the accident.

She fought back tears, determined not to give him another reason not to confide in her.

“I didn’t want you to know how much I screwed up – how much of a mess I made of all this. Here I am, trying to convince you that you can trust me with anything, and all I’ve done is make everything worse!”

“So you just decided to keep it from me?”

“I’m not the only one keeping secrets though, am I?”

Her heart raced. “It’s not the same thing!”

“Sure it is! The thing with the yoga mat, the constantly changing the subject when things get a little close to the truth – you’re shutting me out, too!”

“I’m not!”

“Yes you are, and I don’t blame you, to a degree. I know my track record sucks, but what do I have to do to prove to you that I want to be here, with you? That I’m not just gonna disappear again, no matter what happens?”

She couldn’t think of a single thing to say to that.

“I can take it, Ally, whatever it is you think I can’t handle, I can take it – and much more besides. I’m not going anywhere, I want to be with you! Don’t you get it? Even though I’m screwing up left and right here, I want to be here and I’m not gonna give up. I’m gonna fix this mess and then things are gonna have to change between us, because I don’t want you to keep me at arm’s length anymore, okay?”

Her stomach twisted into a tight knot as she blinked up at him. Did he have any idea what he was asking her to do?

“I’ll tell you anything you want to know, if you promise to do the same,” he said. “But you have to promise me. Agreed?”

Her head swam. As broken and tired as he looked, he practically glowed with desperation.

“Okay.”

He closed the gap between them, grimacing as he knelt in front of her to take her hands. “It’s just a little blip on the radar, I’m gonna fix this. Everything’s gonna be fine, you’ll see.”

She nodded, her hands trembling in his, her body threatening to follow suit. He pulled her into his arms and she found herself burying her head into his shoulder as she tried to shut out the idea that they were being watched.

“Stay here with me tonight?” she begged, her noble intentions disappearing in a flood of fear.

“I’m staying right here, I promise.”



Jack sat in the antique chair in the hallway, staring up at the grandfather clock. It ticked sombrely, matching his mood. His body ached, his soul too. What the hell had he done, bringing this shit here, to her?

The quiet hum of voices in the kitchen grew louder. He should be in there, going in to bat for himself, but truthfully, he didn’t think he had it in him right now. Shame overwhelmed him. He was letting Ally fight this battle, one that wasn’t even hers to fight. What kind of man did that? What would his Dad say?

He had argued against getting Callum, Jane and Maggie involved, but Ally had insisted. The more heads together, she said, the more chance they have of making sure this goes away. He should have argued harder, he should have stood up to her, but he didn’t.