A Whole New Crowd(86)

I swallowed and felt as if he’d struck me across the face. He’d had it hard. So did I. He shook his head. “Stop.” He was in front of me now. His hands lifted. He was going to touch the sides of my face, but he hesitated. I saw the agony in him, and he closed his eyes. He closed himself off from me and drew in a breath.
I frowned. He was drawing strength and he was doing it without me. My hands lifted to his before I realized what I was doing. I didn’t want him to do that. I wanted him to draw strength from me and as his eyes opened, I was gutted. “Stop.”
He did. I saw it.
I added, “I don’t want to ruin your life.”
“You won’t.”
I shook my head. I already had.
“Stop, Taryn.” His hands cupped my face. His thumbs rubbed over my cheeks, softly and tenderly. “It goes both ways. I’m all-in. I’ve never been this guy. I’ve never cared about a girlfriend before, but it’s different with you. Everything’s different with you. It’s too late to go back. I’m in, Taryn. Do you hear that? I’m in. Accept it. I’m here. I’m not leaving. I’m your best friend. I’m going to be your lover. I’m going to fight with you. I’m going to hold you. I’m going to support you. I will not betray you, and I will not abandon you.”
Each word calmed me. The storm was there, but it wasn’t raging any more, and I cracked a grin. “I don’t have a say in the matter?”
He leaned forward. His lips were going to my forehead, but he held back. I felt him struggling with his emotions before he murmured, “No, you don’t. You have to deal with it.” He touched his lips there and his chest jerked up. The emotion was strong in him. We were the same in that moment. My hands clung to the back of his as he cradled my face, but I tugged him down.
His eyes opened and he looked into mine. For the first time, I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t look away. I let him stare into me. I let him see everything, and then I reached for his lips. As they touched mine, I claimed him this time.
I was letting him know he was mine.


CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

When we headed to Rickets’ House, my only goal was to find the girl that I saw with Brian the night he died. When Amber and Jennica came into the room, they said that girl had been asking questions about Brian’s death. As we drove up the long, windy gravel road to the house, Tray asked, “So, let’s run this over again. What did Amber and Jennica say again?”
“The cops said it was a robbery, but they said some girl was asking people about that night at a party. Amber told her to shut up and to stop asking questions. This girl didn’t back down and started saying things like it didn’t happen that way and it was all a set-up. Then Jennica told her that they knew his ex-girlfriend and she should respect the dead.” I paused. “That’s what they told me anyway.”
Tray drove past the house, which was lit up and had people spread out onto the front yard. He turned the car down the first row of parked cars, looking for a slot. “You were quiet at Dylan’s house. What were you thinking?”
“I have no idea why, but I can’t stop thinking about this one night. Jace joined the Panthers when he was young. He quit school and a few years later, he started working for Galverson. He changed and it was almost overnight.” The memories flared in my head and I swallowed against the bitterness that came with them. “He was more confident. No, he was arrogant. Their dad started to fear him. Then he started paying for things, throwing his money around like everyone owed him. I wasn’t always there. The Panthers aren’t a bad gang. They drive around and mostly protected people around the area, but they didn’t like that Jace was working for Galverson. I knew there was a divide between him and the rest of the gang. Then, I don’t know.” I shrugged and turned to the window. I wasn’t seeing the scenery. I was lost in my head, in my past. “Then it was like it didn’t matter. Jace came to the house one night. It was in the middle of the night and he just sat there. Brian was sleeping and their dad was having health problems by then so he always sleeping, so when I went to get food, he was in the kitchen.”
My voice grew faint as the memory reenacted in my head. “I was hungry and I didn’t turn the light on, but when I opened the fridge I saw him at the table. There was blood on him, all over him. And he had a gun.” I closed my eyes. “I didn’t notice it at first, but I saw the jacket. It was his Panther’s leather jacket. It was on the table and when I moved closer to him, he covered the gun with his jacket. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say. Jace was always…he didn’t talk much. I mean, we joked. He used to wrestle with Brian, but all that had stopped for a long time. I was scared of him. He had become Brian’s jackass brother, but that night it was like the old Jace was back.” I faltered, remembering the haunted look in his eyes. “I never asked him what was wrong. We didn’t talk at all, but I sat there and,” a grin left me, “I ate a bowl of ice cream. It was the oddest and most surreal night of my life.” Everything went back to normal after that night, but I didn’t know how to explain it. It didn’t make sense to me.