A Rake's Ruin (Devilish Lords #1)(14)

He frowned and made a concerted effort to ease his grip as they glided across the dance floor. What he was describing sounded remarkably like marriage.

His heart rate increased and he found himself staring a little too intensely at the pretty face before him, so familiar and yet so new.

No, he told himself. Marriage to Claire was a terrible idea. Marriage, in general, was not his favorite idea. A necessity, he knew, but one he’d been putting off. But to Claire?

His recalled with vivid clarity the look in her eyes when he’d suggested it in the garden as the worst case scenario.

There were no two ways about it—she’d looked horrified.

He focused on his feet which were starting to lose the graceful rhythm. Marriage between them might be a terrible idea, but it wasn’t that terrible.

He sought out the old baron and found him watching them with a furrowed brow, clearly still put out that he had lost this dance to Galwin.

Surely the thought of marrying him was more palatable than a marriage to Swattle.

“If you continue to glare at him, you will only make matters worse.” Claire’s soft voice had him looking down in surprise.

“I beg your pardon.” Yet again he caught a hint of intellect and humor behind that dazed, vacant smile. How had he never seen that before? Had he not been paying attention or had she just been that good at playing her role?

And that’s what it was. He could see that so clearly now.

He caught a flicker of impatience as her gaze darted to the corner where Swattle stood before returning to meet his shocked stare. “That man lives for the thrill of the hunt,” she explained slowly, as though to a dimwitted child. “That is why he pursues in earnest now, I’m sure of it. He knows I no longer need nor want him for a husband.”

He blinked down at her. “But you did need and want Swattle as your husband before?”

Her soft exhale was as good as rolling her eyes for all the exasperation it conveyed. “I did not want him, necessarily.”

“But you needed him,” he finished.

“I needed a husband.” Her tone was flat and rigid.

“And now you no longer need a husband,” he clarified as the puzzle pieces clicked into place. Funny how he’d never given Claire or her marriage prospects much thought before, but tonight they seemed endlessly fascinating.

“No, now I no longer need a husband,” she confirmed.

He watched her in silence as the last pieces clicked into place. What had changed? Her sister marrying the earl, obviously. Of course she had been expected to marry well, especially in light of… His footwork nearly faltered yet again.

Hell and damnation. That was what she’d meant earlier about her brother’s actions and how they’d affected her. Yes, he’d known the family had been worried about their financial stability thanks to Jed’s gambling, but he hadn’t thought about how Claire would respond.

Or how she would be expected to save them all with that angelic face of hers.

Bloody hell, he was a sodding idiot for not having seen this earlier. For not having given her or her siblings a second thought.

“I’m sorry.” The apology came out without much forethought. It needed to be said and he needed to say it.

Her gaze met his and her eyes narrowed slightly, as if to see if he were teasing.

He was not and he hoped she could see that.

She looked away with a small shrug. To her credit, she did not try to pretend that she didn’t understand what he meant. “As you said, Jed is a grown man. He makes his own decisions.”

The words were meant to let him off the hook, but he winced at the tone. It was clear she did not mean it, not entirely at least. As his friend he’d been expected to do more. The knowledge made him want to take a bath to wash away the shame. But, even as he thought that anger flared up and wiped away that feeling of guilt.

He had done what he could, just not in the way she’d hoped. “I did what I could.”

“You could have done more,” she snapped. Her words were low so no other dancers could hear but the venom and heartache in that simple statement made his chest ache, on her behalf and on his own.

He leaned down slightly, his gaze never leaving hers. “Would you prefer I did what some of his others friends did and walk away when he needed me most?” He gestured toward the balcony where the earl and his wife were watching the ball beneath them, arms linked and happy as could be. “Do you wish I’d done as your brother-in-law and turn away from Jed when his situation grew difficult?”

He had to bite his tongue to keep from telling her more. To keep from spilling all of Jed’s secrets, which were not his to tell. “I promise you, Claire. I tried to keep him afloat. I stepped in when he would let me.” He cleared his throat and softened his tone, keenly aware of the questioning looks they were getting from the couples around them. “I’ve never claimed to be anyone’s hero, but I’d like to believe that my interference kept the situation from being even worse than it was.”

She watched him for several long moments without speaking, her eyes moving over his face, reading his expression and studying his gaze. He held his breath under her scrutiny, awaiting her verdict like a man facing the gallows.

He felt her exhale, her body softening in his arms as she gave him a smile that was far more genuine than the simper he was starting to loathe. “In that case, I suppose I owe you an apology.”