A Matter Of Justice (Grey Justice #4)(60)

“Yes.”

“Do you remember your brother at all?”

“Yes and no. As you know, what happened before Hill isn’t clear or distinct. I remember vague impressions of people and events. I remember cold, hunger, fear. I don’t remember any specific person, but I think I do remember him from Hill House. He was in training, too. I never talked to him, though.”

“You trained together?”

“No. Hill was very specific about that. For the most part, I was kept separate from the others. I don’t know if it was because I was special to him, or because I meant nothing.”

“Does it matter?”

“No, I guess it doesn’t. But now I’m wondering if it was just a matter of practicality. Keeping us away from each other prevented any kind of bond.”

“Or perhaps broke any bond that you already had.”

“Yes.”

“How do you feel about killing him?”

“He was going to kill Grey. I made the only choice I could.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“It’s the only one I’ve got right now.”

Dr. Tobin occasionally pushed her for answers. Irelyn was thankful that this time she didn’t. She had cried a river about it already. Tears hadn’t helped, neither would words. It was done, couldn’t be undone. She chose to focus on the one good thing about it all—Grey was still alive.

“You hadn’t told me before today the things Reed revealed to you that last night. Why?”

Because there had been so much pain back then, so much to process. Killing the man she had both despised and loved. The breach with Grey she hadn’t thought they’d be able to overcome. Learning that she had a brother, a blood relative, and finding out he’d been in the same house with her and she hadn’t known him.

“It was just too much to deal with…to handle. I told you what I could.”

“You’re better now.” Keen eyes assessed her. “Back in a good place again.”

Irelyn almost laughed at the doctor’s uncanny observation, because it was true. How screwed up did you have to be to have killed your only sibling the night before, to know that someone has a contract to kill the most important person in your life, and likely wants to kill you, too, and still realize that you are indeed in a good place? This was the most connected and grounded she’d felt in years. That was messed up.

“Grey and I were intimate last night.”

“That hasn’t happened in a while.”

“No…not since…not since that night.”

“The night you poisoned Hill Reed.”

“Yes.”

“I won’t ask for details, but how was your connection?”

Amazing. Beautiful. Almost spiritual. All those things and so much more. Grey had touched her as if she were a precious gem. Tender, gentle, likely because of her injuries, but also resolute in his goal to give her the ultimate pleasure. It had been a long time since she’d felt so connected with him. She had wanted to give back, pleasure him, but he wouldn’t let her. He had given himself without taking anything in return.

“Never mind,” Dr. Tobin said. “I can tell by your expression that it was a good experience.”

Relieved she didn’t have to explain such an intimacy, she quickly answered, “Yes, it was lovely.”

“So what happens now? Will you stay with him?”

“We’re going away together until we can figure out who’s behind this. Keeping him out of the limelight will ensure his safety.”

“And what about your safety?”

“Well, sure, that, too.”

“You don’t really mean that, though, do you? Why is that, Irelyn? When are you going to realize that you deserve safety and protection, too?”

“Grey’s the one being targeted, not me.”

Instead of refuting Irelyn’s words, Dr. Tobin tilted her head in that silent, confronting way of hers.

“Okay, so I’m probably on some hit lists, too. Either way, we’ll both be out of the limelight. Grey’s taking care of some business, but we’re leaving tomorrow.”

“Being alone with each other will give you a chance to reconnect. Yet, you don’t look very happy about it. Are you afraid you’ll disclose more than you’re ready to reveal?”

That and a thousand other reasons it was dangerous for her to be alone with him for too long. But she could not pass up this opportunity. It had been too long that it had been just the two of them together.

“I can’t run away forever.”

“Especially when you’re running from someone you want to stay with forever.”

Denying the truth would be futile. Dr. Tobin had a talent for seeing beyond the surface. Irelyn was excellent at hiding her deepest emotions, but from their first meeting, the therapist had seen beneath the fa?ade that Irelyn showed the rest of the world.

She’d been so lost in thought, she hadn’t realized the woman had sat down on the coffee table in front of her. In a surprising, unusual move, she took Irelyn’s hand. “Perhaps it’s time to reveal all, Irelyn. Lay it all on the table. Tell him what’s in your heart. Perhaps it’s time to put the past truly in the past.”



Grey put his signature on the last document he intended to sign for a while. In the early years, he’d been a hands-on manager, but he’d learned that wasn’t necessary when you hired the right people for the job. He had no concerns on that front.