A Family Affair(48)

“But, Patrick! You’re done with me?”

“Yes, Jess. You’re in trouble. You may have a personality disorder. A lot of beautiful young women think it’s just part of looking for the right guy, but it’s more serious than that. You’re demanding and abusive.”

“That’s not true!”

“Sadly, it’s totally accurate.”

She felt herself crumbling. “I bought us a pizza,” she said, a catch in her voice. “Your favorite kind.”

“Think about yourself for a while,” he said. “Put yourself first. You don’t have to live with disappointment. Nor do you really want a man who is constantly bent to your demands. Believe me, it wouldn’t last. Talk to someone. Get help.”

“I’m a doctor!” she said, shouting. “I’m a busy doctor! And my father was a therapist! I don’t need help!”

“Being a doctor is no pass,” he said. “Trust me, I know that from firsthand experience. Doctors are as messed up as anyone. In fact, for some, with the pressure they’re under, they’re even more vulnerable. And sadly, least likely to ask for help. Do yourself a favor. Don’t be that doctor.”

“Patrick, I had a bad week! Be fair!”

“This has nothing to do with fairness, Jess. You are one giant red flag. Staying with you now would only make things worse for both of us.” He stopped at the door and threw her a wan smile. “Here’s to better days for you.”

And he left.

Anna found a renewed source of energy in her nights with Joe. Although her office was flooded with work, she felt somehow better equipped to handle it. She might have been mentally reluctant to move in a new direction, with a new man, but she found talking to Joe almost daily and spending a night or two a week with him gave her a sense of comfort and well-being. And confidence. It was amazing what being intimate did for the nervous system.

But she didn’t tell anyone. Not even Phoebe, who she could trust to keep a secret if there was a secret to be kept.

“I’m just a very private person,” she told Joe. “I’m used to not talking about my private life.”

“You aren’t afraid the kids will give you trouble, are you?” he asked.

“The kids love you,” she said. “I’m not sure that’s the same thing as approving of me sleeping with you. Chad has been gone for six months. That’s not a long time.”

“Ah,” he said. “You’re waiting for their approval?”

“No! I think there’s a secret widows or divorcées handbook that specifies the length of time that’s appropriate. And I think it’s longer than six months.”

“Is it longer for widows or divorcées?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I just know that anything in an elected official’s private life can be overscrutinized. But that’s the half of it. My kids are a little unstable. I’m not sure where they are in dealing with their father’s death. The last time I talked to them Jessie was angry, Mike was brokenhearted and Bess was coping in her own way by not feeling anything. But Bess has a man in her life now and I want to meet him and see if he’s right for her. And there’s the small matter of finding out if I have a brother. I sent in one of those DNA kits and have signed up online for their search program.”

“And have you talked to Amy lately?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said softly. “I went by her house one afternoon and held Gina. Amy woke her to lift her into my arms. She’s so sweet. Amy goes back to work in a week and there will be a nanny. Not a live-in nanny but a woman in the neighborhood. Amy assures me that I can stop by, with notice, to see Gina, whenever I like.”

“You know what you’re doing, don’t you?” Mike said. “Your family fell apart with Chad’s death and now you’re trying to reconstruct it.”

“And it is completely unrecognizable!” she said. “And I keep looking for you in the family picture and I’m not sure where you are!”

“Why don’t we just not worry about that for a while. No one suspects I’m anything but a family friend and there’s no worry about making it more at this time. Anna, what you and I have found, it’s okay if it’s just about us. It’s only been a few weeks that our status has changed. Well, except for one thing...”

“What one thing?” she asked.

“I love you,” he said. “That’s not a big change. I think I’ve always loved you.”

Anna loved him, as well, but she merely smiled in return. She wasn’t ready to commit, though she felt in her bones that this was somehow meant to be.

About once a week, Anna would either work from home and Joe would come to her or she would leave the courthouse a bit early and go to Palo Alto and spend an evening and night with him. They did this without changing their habits as far as their families knew. If Anna got a call from one of her kids, she’d chat for a while, claim evening and early-morning meetings. “We’re desperate to catch up on cases that have been postponed over and over so do me a favor and give me some notice if you want to get together. My whole office has been working a crazy schedule.” Joe talked to his son, an Oakland firefighter, a lot but saw him only about once or twice a month, and Melissa, his daughter, he tried to visit in Bodega Bay at least once a month.