A Family Affair(41)

“That would be ideal,” Amy said. “Nikit isn’t on call today and he offered to keep Gina. And frankly, I could use a little time away from the baby. I’ll come closer to you if you can think of a place.”

Anna’s first thought was to be disappointed the baby wasn’t going to be included, but she kept that to herself. She reminded herself that Amy and the baby weren’t really a part of her life, but rather Chad’s. And Chad was gone. “There’s a little Mediterranean grill in Mill Valley. They’re always busy but they have some nice booths in the bar. I’ll call and see if I can reserve one.”

“Perfect!” she said. Then she asked for directions and promised to meet her in an hour.

For a moment, Anna had the weirdest thought flash through her mind. What if Chad sees us? This happened a lot, the urge to text him something before remembering he’s gone. Or the urge to check her messages to see if he had called. Just then she wondered what Chad would think of her meeting his daughter behind his back.

Maybe it was the memories. She and Chad used to like to duck into Christos around happy hour to indulge a glass of wine and maybe a Greek salad or stuffed grape leaves, pita and hummus with olives. If they’d been out for some reason, Christos was a favorite stop before going home and they’d take some baklava to go.

“Thank you for meeting me,” Amy said when she arrived. Once again Anna was struck by the resemblance to her own daughters, yet another reminder that Chad’s genes were relentless. And to think she took one look at her at the celebration of life and suspected her of being a mistress! She thought, Chad’s type! How crazy that seemed now.

“Of course,” Anna said. “It sounds like you have something on your mind.”

“Yes. Or something I want to get off my chest. I was completely honest with you about my relationship with my father, but I left out some details about how I found out about him.”

“Well, there’s time, Amy. Let’s order you something to drink. A coffee or other drink?”

“I’d love an iced latte,” she said.

Anna ordered for them and also asked the waitress to bring some baklava.

“This is so perfect,” Amy said. “I wish I had known about you a long time ago.”

“I do, too, although I can’t imagine how many things that might have changed!”

“I know,” she said. “Please understand, I didn’t know this until my mother was sick. Remember I told you I met my father when I was a teenager? I was sixteen. I don’t know why I wasn’t more specific. I told you he was introduced as a friend of the family. Well, apparently he did tell my mother to get in touch if she ever needed help, and that’s what she did. I witnessed a school shooting, the Saint Mary’s High School shooting twelve years ago. Six of my classmates were murdered by a senior with his father’s automatic weapons. I was a very lucky survivor.”

“Oh, Amy! I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you,” she said. “I think I’m all right, thanks in large part to my father, who I didn’t know was my father at the time. My mother called him, told him what had happened, said I wasn’t sleeping, explained my anxiety and asked him to help. He asked her to bring me to his office immediately. That’s when I met him and learned he was a therapist. We spent some time talking about the event and my PTSD and he arranged for me to see another therapist. He never explained the real reason. He just said there was another therapist who was more of an expert in problems like mine. But he checked on me.”

Anna was thankful to be reminded—Chad was a professional. And he was a good man, down deep. She thought she remembered: an Oakland high school, six dead plus the shooter’s suicide making it seven. Many were injured. It traumatized the town, the Bay Area. It was 2009, following a terrible recession and unemployment. Tensions were high, gun laws were lax; a young man all screwed up and very angry helped himself to the automatic weapons in his father’s unlocked gun cabinet.

“That’s when I became aware of him,” Amy said. “But it wasn’t until my mother was near death that I knew he was my biological father. I didn’t know he went to my graduation. High school and college actually. I didn’t even know he was there. After high school, he began to help with my tuition.”

“I thought you said he helped all along...”

“My mother told me that he sent money occasionally, just a random check now and then. She said she always meant to send it back. She didn’t want him to ever claim me or assert his legal rights, but it turns out that was not his plan. Maybe he was feeling guilty.”

“I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through,” Anna said.

“Please don’t say that. I’ve had such a good life. My mother had a great job she loved. Even though my mother and stepfather divorced, they had a good relationship and we stay in touch. I have two younger siblings. And I have Nikit and now Gina. I love my work. I’m sorry for all you went through. I must come as quite a shock.”

“Oddly, once I thought it through, not much of a shock at all,” she said. “I only knew there had been a relationship, but it had ended.”

“That’s what I was told, as well.”

“I’ve been dealing with marriages gone bad for many years, as a prosecutor, as a defense attorney and as a judge. I have a lot of friends, some of them have relationships I actually envy. For the most part, many of our friends envied us. But I’m sure they didn’t see into the viscera of our lives.”