ALL THE RAGE (writer: T.M. Frazier)(68)

“That was just a bunch of bullshit. Nolan’s parents are dead. Knew that already. Knew Nolan killed them, too,” Smoke admitted.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Lies. Everything had been a total lie.

“All these lies…so you could set me up with him?” I looked up at Smoke, the reality of what he was telling me finally sinking in, but with the it came a million more questions, one more important than all the others.

“All these lies for you! So you could have one foot in a world where killing ain’t the only thing you’re thinking about. My life is shit ’cause I went down a path I can’t crawl back out of. But you’re young. You’re f*cking beautiful and smart. You’ve got time. You can still have someone around who cares about you…someone besides me.” Smoke looked over to the bathroom door that had just opened and then back to me.

“Did you ever think of Nolan in all your scheming? Did you ever think that being with me wasn’t the best thing for him? I mean, I dragged him into all this. He’s part of this and probably hurt because of me and what I do and—”

“Rage, stop!”

“No, don’t tell me to stop. He’s probably bleeding out somewhere because of me!”

“Ain’t no one got beef with that kid. He’s probably fine.”

“No! He’s not. You didn’t see the f*cking blood!” I cried, dropping to the ground.

Smoke lifted me up off the floor by my elbow like he did that first night in the clearing, setting me back on my feet like I was fragile.

I held up the bloody jacket. “And if you aren’t the one who did this?” I felt a stinging in the back of my eyes. “Then who the f*ck did?” My voice cracked as I tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall.

Smoke grabbed the jacket from my hands and turned it over, inspecting it on all sides. A crumpled piece of paper fell from the inside when he started undoing the buttons.

We both made a move to pick it up just as the fan on the floor rotated toward us, blowing the paper toward the bathroom where the dark-haired girl stood in the open doorway. She picked it up and unfolded it as she walked toward us. “The Rules for Being Rage,” she said, reading it aloud. She handed the note to Smoke. “What does that mean?”

I felt all the blood drain from my face.

That shouldn’t be here.

It couldn’t be here.

“How?”

Smoke’s eyes went wide as he stared at the paper now in his hands. He looked just as shocked as I was. “What the f*ck?” he muttered, tugging on the bottom of his beard.

I snatched it from him, not able to fully believe what he was holding. “It couldn’t be, it’s impossible,” I said, unfolding it completely, ready to confirm that what we were both thinking was wrong.

It had to be.

But sure enough, in multi-colored pen, written in several different skill levels of handwriting, changing between block lettering and script, were the familiar rules written for me throughout my childhood.

Rules I’ve read a thousand times.

Rules meant to contain my anger.

Rules meant to try and make me normal.

Rules I grew to hate over time.

Rules…written by Cody.





CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE




Rage


It was only a hunch, but it was all I had to go on. It was surreal pulling up to the park on the back of Smoke’s bike when the last time I was there I was driving away on it. It had been years, but it felt like no time had passed at all. I could almost feel the rough tulle of my prom dress scratching against my legs as I ran toward the excitement of the unknown.

The second he pushed down the kickstand and leaned the bike onto it, I hopped off. He cut the engine and followed me. “Did you call Joker?” I asked for the fourth time.

“Yeah, ’bout a hundred times. The brothers left this afternoon on a ride, but they’re on their way back. Joker’s M.I.A, but I sent him a text and put a call in to some of Nolan’s brothers. They’re on their way back from a ride and heading straight here but it’s gonna take them a while.” Smoke said. “You got what you need?” He pointed to my bag.

I nodded and clutched it close to my chest. “Hopefully, I brought a hell of a lot more than what I’m gonna need,” I answered, scanning the clearing between the pines. I could almost still see Cody’s Honda where it had been parked the last time. It was like its ghost was still there.

Haunting me.

“Tell me again why you let this Cody kid f*ck you?” Smoke asked. His words were cruel, but that was just Smoke. “If you were hell bent on giving it away, you know I would’ve stepped in and helped you out with that.” He flicked the toothpick in his mouth from one side of his lip to the other.

The last thing I wanted to do was explain to Smoke that all these years, when I’d thought I’d lost my virginity to Cody, I’d actually lost it just the day before to Nolan.

My chest squeezed.

“Cody was a last-ditch effort to be someone I wasn’t,” I said, not wanting to elaborate. I needed to get to Nolan.

Smoke huffed. “I sometimes get a bit turned around too, kid. That don’t mean I let some punk stick his dick in me when that happens,” he growled. The conversation we didn’t need to be having was growing unbearably long.