Within These Walls (Within These Walls #1)(15)

I needed to find out.

My first day off, I spent the entire day caged inside my apartment. I hated my days off. I lifted weights, ate ramen, watched a football game, and by the end of the day, I was stir-crazy. Days like this were why I would end up working so many shifts at the hospital. Unlike most people, I couldn’t stand to be alone. When I was by myself, I had nothing but the haunting memories of my past to keep me company. Nothing could stop the feelings of loss and the overwhelming sense of shame from taking over when I didn’t have the chaos of the hospital to keep my mind from wandering down that dark, deserted path.

I might not talk much, and my coworkers might consider me a bit odd, but at least the hustle and bustle of my job could keep me occupied. It would also allow me to return to the one place where I still felt Megan. My family had begged me to come home. After canceling my cell service, I’d disowned them and basically disappeared. I wouldn’t go home. I had no home anymore.

The trip to California with Megan had been a surprise present from my parents. The night of our graduation from college, our families had gathered together to celebrate our joint success. I had gotten down on one knee and asked the girl I’d been in love with since Business 101 four years earlier to be my bride. Everyone had been thrilled, and to celebrate in the typical style of my outlandish family, my father had booked Megan and me a two-week vacation to California and Maui.

He’d made a speech about how proud he was and how he couldn’t wait to finally bring me into the family business. I’d already been in the family business since I was in middle school. Blessed with the gift for numbers and analytics, I had been a gold mine in the eyes of my father. At the age of fifteen, I could predict and evaluate the market better than he could at sixty. I’d fought my way out of the house and gone away to college.

Four years, Jude. That’s all you get.

From across the table, he’d held his glass high and toasted us, the happy couple. He’d wished us well on our trip as he’d given me a look that said, It’s time to cash in.

Fun and games had been coming to a close.

I’d left for California, knowing my father owned my life once again. So, I had done the best I could to make sure Megan and I had the time of our lives in California because I’d been too scared to think about what our lives would be like when we returned.

A week into our vacation, the day before we were supposed to leave for Hawaii, we’d been hanging out with a few new friends we’d met in the area. After staggering out of the party late at night, we’d played Rock, Paper, Scissors in the middle of a deserted street. The loser of the game had to drive back to the hotel.

I’d lost three times in a row.

“I don’t want to,” I whined, dragging my sluggish feet behind me just for effect.

“Jude! I’m tired, and you clearly lost! You have to drive!” Megan yelled back, walking in front of me.

Her tight black skirt accentuated her ass as she sauntered back and forth in her heels. I took a moment to enjoy the view.

My future wife is hot.

Her tanned long legs went on for miles, and she had beautiful dark brown hair that I loved to run my hands in, and that—

“Are you checking out my ass?” she said, suddenly pivoting around. Her hand shot to her hip, and she raised an eyebrow.

Busted.

“Mmm…maybe. If I tell you how nice it is, will you drive us back to the hotel?” I asked with a wolfish grin.

“Ugh! Maybe we should just stay here for the night,” she said.

“No!” I immediately shot down the suggestion. My legs revived in an instant at the thought of spending the night anywhere but in a king-sized bed with Megan, and I jogged to catch up with her.

We finally made it to our rental car a few blocks away, and I slowed the last few steps.

Closing the gap between us, I pushed her against the car. “If we stay here, we’ll be sleeping on some nasty-smelling sofa with a bunch of drunk college kids.”

“We were drunk college kids just a few weeks ago, if you’ve forgotten.”

“Yes, but we’re not anymore, and we have this amazing”—I kissed her shoulder—“wonderful”—I moved across to her collarbone—“huge”—I left a trail of kisses up to her lips where I stopped and hovered—“hotel room. I really want to make good use of it, don’t you?”

I could feel her breath growing heavy with each kiss to her skin. By the time my lips were almost touching hers, she was practically panting.

“Yes,” she breathed.

“Yes, what, Megan?”

“Yes, I want to go back to the hotel room,” she answered.

I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face. I quickly planted a kiss on her lips and slapped her ass. “Good, so you’ll drive then?”

Being the loving, agreeable person she was—she’d taken the keys and gotten in the driver’s side of the car, ready to drive even though it should have been me.

Those were some of the last moments I’d had with her while she was still conscious. Minutes after that glass had been raining down on us as the screech of metal permanently seared itself into my brain.

I’d looked over at her as the world spun and thought of all the things I wanted to say before we died and couldn’t. So many things I could have said in those last few minutes in that parking lot if I’d known.