Wildest Dreams (Thunder Point #9)(71)

Blake carried her through his house, navigating with his lips still on hers or on her neck. Then he sat on the couch, holding her on his lap.

“We have to come out now,” he whispered.

She made a whining, mewling sound. She dreaded it.

“Everyone probably knows, anyway. Maybe everyone but Charlie, but if I know Charlie, he’s on to us. He doesn’t miss a thing.”

She left his lips reluctantly. “And what are we supposed to do? Make an announcement?”

He laughed at her. “Things haven’t changed that much since high school, Lin Su. I carry your books, walk you to class, we’re seen out together Friday night, someone says, ‘Are you two seeing each other?’ and you say, ‘Yes. We connected somehow and now we’re dating.’”

“We haven’t had a date yet,” she said.

“We have to fix that, too. If you want to bring Charlie along, that’s fine. Maybe not every time we go out, but sometimes. I like Charlie.”

“I don’t know why you think everyone knows,” she said.

“Well, they’re not stupid. They know we’re not playing chess when you come over here at naptime. And you get pretty rosy,” he added, grinning. “It’s a good thing I’m not trying to get ready for a race...”

“Why?”

“I have no schedule! I stay up late hoping to talk to you, get up early. My mind is in a knot thinking about you all the time. Look, I know you’re out of practice, if you ever had any, but what’s happening here is pretty simple. We’re falling in love.”

“Lust,” she said. “I think it’s just lust.”

“No,” he said. “It’s lust, too. But I care about you and I think you care about me. That’s more than lust.” He grinned. “I like the lust, though. It’s very good and one of these days we’re going to...”

“Ah!” she said sharply, stopping him.

“Yes, we are,” he said. “Everything is just right. We’re allowed to kiss and hug and go on dates. We’re allowed to fall in love. We can have a physical relationship as long as we both want to.”

“I don’t want to,” she said.

He laughed. “I can hardly peel you off me,” he said. “You climb me like a tree and I love it. Take your time, but let’s not pretend you don’t know what’s going on here. And let’s not be deceptive. It just never works.”

“And then, like high school, do you have what you want and move on to the next cheerleader?”

His expression grew serious. “Is that what happened?” he asked her.

She looked away. He gently grabbed her chin and turned her head back to face him. “Lin Su, is that what happened?”

She shook her head. “Not until I told him I was pregnant,” she whispered. “Please, I don’t want Charlie to know that. I want him to think his father was a good and faithful man.”

“He was just a boy, I think. And you were just a girl. But we’re not kids. We’re not screwing around in the moment. We both know there’s more at stake. We both know there’s a fourteen-year-old boy involved and we’re not going to risk his feelings. I don’t want Charlie to think he can’t trust us.”

“Does that mean we don’t make love until we’re serious?” she asked.

“I am serious. But I think you’re still a little worried about whether you can trust me. I think the only way I’m going to convince you is by showing you, and if it takes a while, I understand. But you don’t have to be afraid I’m fickle.”

“You left a lot of perfectly great women because you were afraid to get involved,” she reminded him.

“No, I never got involved with a lot of perfectly great women because I was afraid of commitment. I wasn’t happy with that, either. I wanted a real relationship, Lin Su. I always have, since I was a kid. I think underneath it all a lot of people want that.”

She had wanted that, she recalled. “I fantasized I would have that with my first love,” she said.

“Yeah, but you were a kid. You’re not a kid anymore. You grew up. Haven’t your expectations grown up, too?” He gave her a kiss. “I think Friday or Saturday night we try a date. Dinner. We can drive over to Bandon or up to North Bend if you like. Tell Charlie I asked you out on a date, and if you feel like inviting him along, that’s fine with me. If you don’t, that’s fine, too.”

“He’ll think something is going on with us.”

“Something is,” he said. “Let’s let it. It feels so good. Don’t be afraid—I won’t hurt you. And I won’t abandon you.”

“You can’t be sure, Blake. Your feelings could change.”

“And so could yours,” he said. “But I’m willing to risk it. I think this works, you and me, and I don’t feel like giving it up just because something might go wrong someday. And I don’t think it’s good to be deceptive, to have this secret that we’re seeing each other, that we’re romantic, pretending we’re not.”

“Aren’t we just being private?” she said, reaching for a way out.

“We can be private without pretending we’re not involved. Lin Su, you’re sitting on my lap. I just had my tongue down your throat and we were talking about sex. Like it or not, we’re a couple.”