Wildest Dreams (Thunder Point #9)(68)

“No help from those well-to-do Irish Catholic parents?”

She laughed a little ruefully and shook her head. “They were mortified. Furious. Disappointed. I was an honor student. I’d been accepted to Harvard. They’d poured a fortune into my education. They expected better. And...well, they weren’t going to help me. Us. I wanted to have my baby and asked for their support and they were adamant—there would be no single mother and fatherless baby in their house. So I left. I made it on my own.”

“And Charlie’s father?”

“He also wasn’t much help, but then he wrecked on a motorcycle in the rain and was completely lost to us so I’ll never know if he would have eventually been supportive. Please, I try to paint a more positive picture for Charlie. A person shouldn’t grow up thinking the worst of their... Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...”

“I understand what you meant,” he said. “But haven’t you tried contacting them? Would they have changed their minds once they met Charlie?”

“Leaving was very hard,” she said. “It took me quite a while, in fact. In the end I might’ve done it as much out of spite. Anger. Determined never again to be a part of their grand plan.”

The cute little Asian baby, gifted and naturally hard-working, destined for great things... They had two biological daughters who hadn’t impressed them, one in the Peace Corps and one majoring in marriage. Lin Su was to be their great achievement. At the very least a physician, at best a great scientist or neurosurgeon. They would proudly take credit for her.

“Adopted,” he said.

“I was a happy child,” she said, almost defensively. “Until I became a mother, I didn’t have problems at home.” See, I’m not really like you.

He didn’t speak for a while. He took another sip of tea. “I figured out something about myself—that I had issues. Not conscious ones. For one, I was afraid of being abandoned. And it wasn’t an idle fear—I had been abandoned over and over. For a long time it kept me from healthy relationships with women—I thought they’d eventually leave me. I poured myself into my sport.”

“Even your coach?”

He laughed uncomfortably. “She was the exception as a matter of fact. I was in a relationship with Gretchen for a while. After working closely together, we got involved, and by that time I’d resolved some of my issues and wanted a more committed relationship. But she didn’t. She’s very independent, married to her work, isn’t interested in a family, doesn’t want to be tied down, doesn’t need anyone. Just what I deserved, I guess. I walked away from perfectly great women before even giving them a chance because I was screwed up. Then I chose one who wouldn’t commit.”

“I think maybe she’s reconsidering,” Lin Su said.

“Well, I’m not, and I made that clear. It would never work, anyway. We’re really not very alike.”

“You’re everything alike!” she said.

“Doing the same kind of work isn’t enough to make a successful relationship. There has to be a lot more than that.”

“Well, you’ll find the right person,” she said, sipping her tea, which had become cool.

“I think I have,” he said. “I could be wrong, but I think we have a lot of the same stuff. Even if we come from very different backgrounds, our priorities are similar.”

“That’s crazy,” she said. “Charlie is my priority. Charlie, Winnie, my home life, family life, my work.”

He smiled. “Oh, you’re right—nothing in common there.”

“I don’t know what you’re looking for, but I bet I’m not it,” Lin Su said. “I haven’t even been on a date in over fourteen years. Well, not really...”

“Not really?”

She shrugged. “I was in a friend’s wedding and I had a partner for that, but it was nothing.”

“You’re it,” he said. “I can tell.”

“There’s this saying about men and settling down—the most available woman when they’re the most ready. They don’t even think about it.”

“I’ve thought about it.”

“I haven’t!”

“All right. I understand completely. You think about it. In the meantime, let’s go out to dinner one of these nights.”

“I don’t know... I don’t think that’s a great idea. I don’t want Charlie thinking...”

“That we’re having a date? Trust me, he’d be dating if he could.”

Lin Su’s phone vibrated in her pocket and she nearly jumped out of her skin. She stood to take it out of her pocket and read the text. She texted back. “Winnie is awake. Time for me to go.”

He stood, as well. “We’ll just think about that date for a while, then. But not too long. I think we need it.”

“We’ll see,” she said, not looking at him. Out of sheer habit, she picked up the tray of mugs to carry to the kitchen.

“Leave that,” he said. “Don’t clean up after me. I’ll get it.”

She left it. Straightening, she went to the door and slipped on her clogs. She grabbed her jacket off the peg. He took it from her hands and put it around her shoulders. Hanging on to it, he pulled her toward him. She looked up at him. He moved toward her mouth slowly, giving her time to shriek or shove him away or kick him in the shins.