When Day Breaks (KGI #9)(43)

He wolfed down his portion, partly because he didn’t want to be sitting there savoring a meal in front of her, but he was also impatient to get to the rest of the evening. He just hoped to hell he’d read the signals she was sending correctly and that he wasn’t way off base by assuming tonight would be the night they took their relationship a step further. A huge step. Because for him, sex just wasn’t casual unless he determined that going in and just wanted or needed a night to blow off some steam and have a one-night stand.

With Eden, it was a whole different ball game. She was a game changer of everything he’d experienced with women up to now. He wanted her desperately, but he wasn’t willing to let his desire and impatience ruin something as beautiful as what was growing between them.

For all he knew she might only want a one-night stand and then she’d back off or move on. He was making a lot of assumptions, assumptions he had no right making. He was setting himself up for one hell of a fall if he allowed his emotions to overtake reason and read more into the situation than what it was in reality.

“Swanny?”

Eden’s soft calling of his name jerked him from his thoughts, something that occurred with frequency when he was in her presence. In his job, absolute concentration was a must. Distractions could get him or one of his teammates killed, and so he was used to having absolute focus. But with Eden? He found himself drifting into internal conversations with himself. Pondering, wondering, self-conscious and a host of other things that crowded his mind when he was with her.

He glanced up to see that she’d set her fork aside and finished the small portion of food she’d allowed herself.

“Are you ready for bed or did you want to stay up a bit longer?” she asked.

Though the words were said steadily enough, he was now familiar enough with Eden to see behind the face she presented and the fact that her words were casual, measured even.

She was nervous and hesitant, almost as if she were worried that he wasn’t on board for taking that huge step in their budding relationship.

“I vote bed,” he said, his voice husky.

She smiled, but her lips quivered slightly. And then she rose from the table, once again giving him an eyeful of the sexy outfit she wore. He nearly cursed because his dick hardened even more and he’d already sported an uncomfortable-as-hell erection through the entire dinner. Seeing her right there in front of him, her nightwear leaving little to the imagination, turned his dick to stone, pressed uncomfortably against the confines of his jeans.

He got up and held out his hand to her, gauging her mood. She slipped her much smaller hand into his and he gave it a light squeeze as they headed toward the bedroom. It brought an instant smile to her face and lessened some of the tension he could feel radiating from her.

“I’ll climb into bed if you want to get undressed,” she said, heading toward the king-size bed in the center of the room.

It was telling that she hadn’t told him to get changed but rather undressed. The two had very different meanings. And suddenly he was nervous because he would be undressing in front of her, his faults and scars in plain sight once again.

He hesitated, uncertainty gripping him. Eden gave him a look of such caring and tenderness that he immediately felt shame for doubting her reaction even for a moment.

“I want to see you,” she said. “All of you. There’s nothing about you that will remotely turn me off, Swanny. I know words mean little, but I want to show you. I need to show you that I’m sincere.”

Her words gave him the courage to undress, pulling his jeans over his straining erection, wincing at the discomfort. He gave an audible sigh of relief when his dick burst free from its restraints. But then he caught the look on Eden’s face as she stared unabashedly at his cock.

Her cheeks had paled and she looked decidedly uncertain and . . . afraid.

She pulled aside the covers on his side of the bed, inviting him to crawl into bed with her.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” she said in a low voice. “I’ve argued with myself over whether to even tell you, and aside from that I didn’t want it to change how you felt about me or your desire to make love to me. But you need to know. You deserve to know so that you can back out if I’m no longer someone you want. And I’ll understand. I promise. I’m not going to throw some tantrum and make an ass of myself. I’d die before guilting you into something you didn’t want.”

Unease gripped him around his balls, squeezing to the point of pain. She made it sound as though she were a wanted criminal or had done something unforgivable, and Swanny couldn’t imagine either scenario in the least.

He slid into bed next to her and automatically reached for her to try to soothe the unease he could see in her eyes. She didn’t nestle into his side as he’d intended and instead moved closer but kept her head up so she could look him in the eyes.

“Eden, you can tell me anything,” he said gently. “I can guarantee whatever it is you’re stressing about isn’t going to change a damn thing about the way I feel about you, and it damn sure won’t stop me from wanting you. I’m so hard right now that if you so much as touched me I think I’d come.”

She smiled, some of the tension escaping her features.

“The other concern was whether you’d even believe me,” she said in a quiet tone. “Because with the way I’ve been with you, so forward and bold, I can’t imagine you would even believe what I’m about to tell you.”