What He Left Behind(75)

“Then maybe there isn’t a third wheel here,” I say. “Does there have to be? Just because there’s three people involved, does there have to be an odd man out?”

Michael shifts, petting the cat and not looking at either of us.

“He’s right,” Ian says. “The three of us just make sense. I mean, the nights we all spend with a bottle of wine in the hot tub? I look forward to that. And I thought it was just because it’s a chance to relax and get away from everything, but honestly, I could do that alone. I could take a bottle of wine into the hot tub by myself. Or with Josh.” He traces my thumb with his. “But it’s not the same.” He hesitates, chewing his lip, before he adds, “Looking back, I’m just surprised it took this long to figure out that there’s a lot more here than a married couple and a good friend. I guess the sex just…” He glances at each of us. “It just sealed it.”

Michael rests his hand on top of Rosie. “I don’t even know what to say. I mean, if we went through with this, how would it even work?”

“We’ll make it up as we go,” I say.

Ian nods. “I don’t think it’ll be much different from what we’ve already been doing.”

“Exactly,” I say. “I think it’ll pretty much work how it’s been working all along. Quite honestly, how it’s been working since even before we all started sleeping together.”

They both look at me, eyebrows up.

I clear my throat. “Think about it. We can all function on our own. We can all function as pairs—Ian and me, Michael and me, you two together. But if we miss a Sunday night, we’re all bummed out until we can finally do it again. Because it just feels like that’s how everything should be.”

Ian chews his lip for a moment. To Michael, he says, “He’s got a point.”

“I know he does. But it’s… I…” Michael exhales hard. He picks up Rosie and carefully sets her on the armrest. Then he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and covering his face with his hands. “This is a lot to take in.”

“Nothing has to happen overnight.” Ian runs his thumb along the side of my hand. “If you need to think, then by all means, take whatever time you need. If we’re all on board, then the only thing that really changes now is we just accept what we’re doing. Let it evolve. You don’t have to move in or anything like that.”

“But we can discuss that option in the future,” I say quietly. “If you want to.”

Michael rubs the bridge of his nose. “Couldn’t this get really complicated?”

“I think it already has.”

Ian nods. “I can’t think of anything more complicated than trying to ignore feelings that obviously don’t want to be ignored.”

Michael lowers his hand. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” I say. “And neither of us is pretending it’ll be bliss and perfection all the time. No relationship is.”

“It’ll definitely be an adjustment.” Ian grips my hand tighter. “Hell, Josh and I still butt heads sometimes. It just means three people squabbling over who takes out the trash and getting annoyed over leaving empty milk cartons in the fridge.”

Michael laughs. “Honestly, a relationship where the worst bone of contention involves household chores… That kind of sounds like heaven to me.” He pauses, gazing at both of us, and releases a breath. “Especially if it’s with the two of you.”

I slide over and gesture for Michael to come to the couch. “Then join us.”

He tenses, eyeing both of us and the vacancy between us. “You guys really are serious about this.”

“Absolutely.” Ian pats the cushion. “We both love you, Michael. We want you to join us.”

Michael eyes that vacant spot again. Slowly, tentatively, he rises. Ian moves his legs aside to give him room as he makes his way around the coffee table, and my heart goes crazy as Michael sinks down onto the couch between us.

He glances at me. Then at Ian. He swallows, pressing his lips together as if he’s struggling to keep his emotions in check.

I curve my hand over his leg. “Ian’s right. We want you to stay with us.”

Michael puts his hand over mine, and for a long, silent moment, he stares at that point of contact. “I can’t…”

My heart sinks. Michael…

Then he laughs, shakes his head and looks me in the eyes. “I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.”

Ian and I both laugh too. It doesn’t seem like the right thing to do in that moment, but I’m not sure there is a right thing to do except be happy. And relieved. And pull Michael into my arms and hug him the way I did the day he left Steve for good.

I was so afraid you’d never come back.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you too.” I kiss the top of his head, and when he meets my gaze, we both smile. Then I kiss him for real.

As I deepen that kiss, Ian slides his hand over the top of mine on Michael’s back, and I open my eyes. Over Michael’s shoulder, I meet Ian’s gaze. His eyes have tears in them, and I realize mine are stinging a bit too.

Michael draws back, wiping his eyes.

He turns to Ian and takes his hand. The air between them is taut. They hold each other’s gazes, I hold my breath, wondering what they’re thinking and what one might eventually say.