What He Left Behind(34)



“I want to go further tonight,” he says. “Not as far as we tried to that other time. When I…” He shudders.

“How far?”

Michael licks his lips. “Don’t know yet. Just further.”

This shaky confidence sends my pulse soaring. I can’t think straight, and sure as f*ck can’t speak, so I kiss him again instead. He drags his nails up my back—holy shit, that burn gives me goose bumps. He’s out of breath, he’s kissing me like his life depends on it, and I’m doing the same to him, especially since every time I move, his erection presses against mine through my jeans and f*cks my equilibrium right to hell. I’ve been here all of two minutes, and I’m already turned on to the point of madness.

I’ll take you as far as you want to go, Michael.

As far as you can go.

My own thought jolts me—he’s been ambitious like this before, and it’s backfired. How do I make sure that doesn’t happen this time?

I break the kiss and go for his neck. Michael arches, baring as much of his throat as possible, and I explore every inch of it, and even as I’m kissing and nipping his hot skin, my mind is reeling—how far can he go? How far do I push this?

It doesn’t help that my jeans are unbearably tight. What I wouldn’t give to be inside him right now, but he can’t possibly be ready for that yet, and this needs to happen at his pace. Small steps. Small, frustrating steps that are driving him insane.

But he wants to go further tonight.

Maybe…

Forcing back my nerves, I lift my head. “Do you trust me?”

“Absolutely.”

I sweep my tongue across my lips. “There’s a boundary I want to push. If you’ll let me.”

His eyes widen a little, and he gulps. “Which one?”

I nod toward the door. “When I walked in here tonight, you looked just like you did that first time we were really in bed together. The first time—”

“The first time we went down on each other.” His voice is taut and unsteady.

“Exactly. And my first thought was how much I wanted to make you feel like you made me feel that night.”

He squirms a bit.

“I know it’s a huge step for you,” I whisper. “But you said you might be okay receiving, right?”

“I… Maybe?”

“Do you want to try?”

“Yes,” he says without hesitation. “I so do.”

“I promise, I won’t hurt you.” I drop a light kiss on his lips. “Say the word, and I’ll stop. No questions asked.”

“I know.” He caresses my face. “I’ve never doubted that with you.”

“So you want me to…?”

He studies me for a moment and then nods slowly. “I don’t know if I can handle it.” His features tighten for a second, but he starts to relax, and his eyes narrow as a grin comes to life. “I do want to try.”

I grin back and lean down to let my lips graze his. Then I start downward, kissing underneath his jaw before continuing along his throat. His skin is deliciously hot to the touch, and when I reach his collarbone, I can’t resist a gentle bite.

“Fuck.” Michael arches beneath me. His fingers run through my hair, twitching each time my lips or teeth touch his flesh. “This definitely brings back memories.”

I glance up at him. “Good ones?”

“V-very good ones.”

I kiss below his collarbone and inch downward. I tease one nipple with my tongue. Then the other. He curses under his breath while I struggle to catch mine—I should be used to the mix of nerves and arousal by now, but tonight, they’re both more intense. A lot more intense. This could turn out so incredibly hot, and it could so easily turn into a disaster.

No pressure, Josh.

One kiss at a time, I work my way back to the middle of his chest and start down again. This reminds me so much of that first time, when every light kiss down his beautiful torso gave me the courage to continue. Helped me work up the nerve to suck his cock for the very first time. Now, it’s the same, and it couldn’t be more different, and I pray with every touch of my lips to his skin that this ends the way it did that very first time. Orgasms. Kisses. Smiles. No ghosts, no demons—only pleasure and innocence.

Michael shifts a bit. I glance up, and he’s lifted himself onto one elbow, probably to give himself a better view. He still has a hand in my hair, combing through it in gentle, uneven motions.

“You good?” I ask.

He runs the tip of his tongue across the inside of his lip, and nods.

I keep going. His abs tighten beneath my lips. A flick of my tongue above his navel makes him gasp. His fingers twitch in my hair. Not long ago, I’d have been convinced he was about to grab my hair, jerk my head back and call this whole thing off. This time, though, he’s pushing a little, as if trying to encourage me to go farther, faster.

All in good time, Michael. I grin against the thin treasure trail. All in good time.

But I want to get there quickly too, so I continue downward. As I follow his hipbone, inching closer to his cock one featherlight kiss at a time, I look up at him again.

His eyes are a little wider now, and his forehead is creased. His chest rises and falls faster than before.

“Sure you’re okay?”

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