Warrior Rising (Goddess Summoning #6)(17)

“Again, not understanding what this has to do with us,” Kat said.

“Actually, it has to do with you, Katrina,” Hera said, though she gave Jacky an apologetic look. “Your friend is here because Venus didn’t think the two of you would want to be separated.”

“I told you so!” Jacky said.

“Shit,” Kat said. “I need a drink.”

“Excellent idea.” Venus looked around the chamber until she spied Eleithyia where she was sitting wide-eyed in a dark alcove. “Darling, would you get us all some wine. It is a rather long story.” The little priestess darted from the room and Venus drew a deep breath. “Now, let me explain everything to you…”

"No way is that plan gonna work,” Jacky said.

“Of course it will work,” Venus said.

“Come on, get serious. Who ever heard of a therapist saving the world? That didn’t even happen in Buffy,” Jacky said.

“What is a buffy?” Athena asked.

“I’m starting to believe this might not be hell,” Kat said. “You know they know who Buffy is in hell.”

“You have a point,” Jacky said. “By the by, may I just mention that your Buffy comment is every bit as dorky as my love for Star Trek.”

“No, you up dork me because you’re into both of them.”

“I wasn’t until Spike got all delicious with that nasty sex. God, I’d really like to make him pop like a champagne cork,” Jacky said.

“What is a buffy?” Athena asked Venus again.

Venus shrugged. “You can’t expect me to know everything about modern mortals.” The goddess took a long, fortifying drink of wine before continuing. “Kat, will you help us with our plan?”

Katrina chewed her bottom lip. “Basically you want me to do a super-duper counseling session with Achilles to help him control his rage while I keep him from fighting.”

“Sounds like they want you to do a super-duper shtuping session with him, too,” Jacky said.

Venus ignored her. “As I explained, Thetis, the mother of Achilles, has already put into motion his withdrawal from the battlefield.”

“Because his woman, uh Briseis, was taken away from him. And you want me to take her place.”

“Yes,” Venus said.

“Whose place am I taking?” Jacky asked.

“No one’s, darling,” Venus said. “You are simply Polyxena’s maidservant.”

“Oh, Jesus f*cking everlasting god. I almost forgot. Where is that little wine girl? I definitely need a refill.”

Eleithyia hurried to top off Jacky’s goblet.

“Answer me this, Goddess of Love,” Kat said while Jacky drank. “Achilles’ woman just got taken away from him. If that pissed him off enough that he was willing to stop fighting why in the world would you believe that he’d be interested in moving on to another woman? I mean, it sounds like he had a thing for the old one.”

“It wasn’t a love relationship,” Venus said. “Achilles’ pride was hurt by Briseis being taken, not his heart.”

“How can you be so sure?” Jacky asked.

“Agamemnon told me that Briseis’s beauty was wasted on Achilles,” Hera said.

“Great. Kat, he’s gay,” Jacky said.

“Gay?” Athena looked utterly confused.

“Achilles is not gay,” Venus said.

“Gay?” Athena repeated, tapping her foot in annoyance.

“It means he only shtups other men,” Jacky explained.

“Shtups means fu—”

“I understand what that means,” Athena said. “And I agree with Venus. Achilles is not gay. But he hasn’t taken a lover in many years, so Briseis was definitely not his lover.”

“How do you know that?” Venus said.

“His mother told me,” Athena said.

“Why no lover?” Kat asked.

“Oh, that’s easy to explain,” Athena said. “He frightens maidens.”

“Why?” Jacky asked, looking more than a little alarmed.

“The berserker rage scares them. Apparently it comes upon him when a passionate emotion is aroused—be it lust or anger,” Athena said.

“Yes, and maidens from the ancient world are not equipped to handle such a man, but I know that modern mortal women are different—stronger, smarter, more independent. Also, I heard you say that you counsel men as part of your living. That’s why I chose you.” Venus finished with a big smile for Kat.

“Well, it’s not just men I counsel. Actually it’s mostly couples whose marriages are in trouble.”

Venus waved her hands dismissively. “It’s all the same. I also heard you described as very optimistic. And you said that you like men. See, you’re perfect for this job.”

“And she says she wasn’t spying on you,” Jacky said.

Athena suddenly added, “Thetis mentioned something about Achilles’ horribly scarred visage frightening maidens, too.”

“I didn’t know Achilles was scarred,” Venus said.

“Neither did I,” Hera said.

Athena shrugged. “Apparently they’re battle scars. Thetis said the berserker rage hasn’t always come upon him easily.”