Warrior Rising (Goddess Summoning #6)(16)

“Ditto,” Kat said.

“It is simply not possible,” Venus said. “Your bodies are beyond even our powers to heal. I’m sorry, but—” Venus began but Hera interrupted her.

“You may not have your old bodies back, but between the three of us we can find comparable vessels in your old world,” Hera said.

“Can comparable mean younger and better looking?” Kat asked.

“And we want final approval,” Jacky added.

“As you wish. If you perform the little task we ask of you, and it is your wish, we will return you to the modern world in mortal bodies of your choice.”

Jacky and Kat exchanged glances, turned their backs on the goddesses and put their heads together. “Wonder how Queen Latifah’s feelin’? Maybe she has some kinda terrible wasting disease the goddesses could hurry up,” Jacky whispered hopefully.

“I was just wondering the same thing about Catherine Zeta-Jones,” Kat said, keeping her voice low. “So we’ll go for it?”

“Yep,” Jacky said.

They faced the goddesses again. “Okay, fine. All we need to do is this thing for you guys, and you’ll put us back where we belong in the bodies of our choice. Right?” Kat said.

“Yes,” the three goddesses said.

“So what is this thing you need us to do?” Jacky asked.

“Simple. We want you to end the Trojan War,” Venus said.

“Jesus lord! You did take me with you to hell, Kat.”

* * *

CHAPTER FIVE

"Jacky, I think you may be right,” Kat said, plopping down next to her on the altar step. “You know, we were just talking about The Iliadat Susie’s house. Clearly our tragic deaths have happened and we’ve been thrown into some kind of literary hell. The next thing you know we’ll be sucked into a f*cking Thomas Hardy book.”

“Thomas Hardy? My god! The pain!” Jacky fanned herself furiously.

“Shit, I’m sorry I got you into this. Shtuping the TU quarterback definitely wasn’t worth it.”

“Well, I knew having a white best friend would cause me some shit eventually.” Jacky held her very slender, very white arm out despondently. “I just didn’t know it would be this bad.”

“Again I would like to ask, what is so terrible about being white?” Athena said.

“Nothing, if you are white,” Jacky said. “But I’m not.” She sighed. “Or at least I wasn’t before I went to hell.”

“By Zeus’s beard they are exceedingly stubborn,” Athena said to Venus. “You didn’t tell us about that.”

“I told you they’re different than ancient mortals. This is just part of it.”

“Hello! Right here—in hell—with you,” Kat said. Then she turned to Jacky. “I wonder what they did to get sent to hell?”

“They’re gorgeous. Women that gorgeous are always pissing someone off,” Jacky said.

“Oh, yeah, you’re right. Forgot about that.”

“Are they saying that we’ve angered people? We’re goddesses. We don’t anger people; they anger us,” Athena said. She gave Venus a severe look. “Tell them.”

“Uh, we can hear you,” Jacky said.

“Jacqueline! Katrina! You are not in hell. Stop this nonsense at once. And ending the Trojan War won’t be that difficult. We already have a plan of action figured out for you,” Venus said.

“Hey, aren’t these the three goddesses who caused the whole Helen/Paris thing?” Jacky said. “You know, the wedding, the apple, the giving already-married Helen to Paris and whatnot.”

“Huh. I think you’re right,” Kat said.

“Do you see how long that ridiculous rumor has lasted?” Venus told Hera. Then she turned back to the two mortals. “That is exactly why we’ve had enough of the Trojan War. We”—she gestured at Athena and Hera—“did not start this war, and we’re sick and tired of being blamed for it.”

“So typical for that wretched Agamemnon to blame others,” Hera muttered.

“What Venus, Hera and I have decided is that this war has gone on far too long. We want it stopped. Now,” Athena said.

“And why do ya think Kat and I could help you with that?” Jacky asked.

“Yeah, sounds like you need to zap some scientists here so they could whip up a lovely weapon or two of mass destruction—”

“As if those can actually ever be found,” Jacky input.

“As if,” Kat agreed. “But if you’re thinking we can do something like that you’ve definitely got us mixed up with someone else.”

“Hey, and bringing modern weapons to the ancient world sounds like it’d be messin’ with the Prime Directive or somethin’,” Jacky said.

“God, you are such a dork,” Kat said. “This is hell, not Star Trek. Although the two do have some odd similarities.”

“See, it’s blasphemy like that that got you in this situation.”

“Achilles!” Venus blurted. Both mortals turned questioning looks on her. “Achilles is the key to the war going on and on. If he and his Myrmidons withdraw from the battlefield the Greeks won’t be able to sustain the siege of Troy. They’ll lose heart and go home where they belong.”