Wanted by Her Lost Love (Pregnancy & Passion #2)(23)

She sagged against him. She wanted so desperately to believe him this time. His eyes were slowly being opened. Did this mean he would eventually accept her version of what happened six months ago?

He pressed his lips to the top of her head and whispered softly. “Stay with me, Kelly. We have so much to work out. God knows we’ve been through a lot together. But in order to do that I need you here with me. Not a thousand miles away in some godforsaken hellhole where I can’t take care of you and our baby.”

He pulled her carefully away and wiped at the trails of wetness on her cheeks with his thumbs. His gaze was haunted, intense and dark with emotion. Honest to God, he looked like he was hurting every bit as much as she was.

It had been on the tip of her tongue to deny that he was the father yet again, but this time she didn’t. It was pointless to argue with him, and besides, he was the father.

He too was obviously expecting her to deny it because when she remained silent his eyes lit with hope.

“Give us a chance, Kell. Let me take care of you and the baby. Whatever is wrong between us, we can fix it.”

“I wish I had your optimism,” she murmured. How to explain that their problems were insurmountable in the face of his lack of trust in her?

He lowered his lips to hers, kissing her so lovingly that she felt a resurgence of tears. She broke away and then laid her cheek against his chest. It felt so good to be back in his arms, for just a moment to let go of all the pain and resentment.

He put a hand to her hair, his touch tentative.

“Kell, we need to talk about the baby. But first we have to settle this matter between us.”

She closed her eyes, feeling dread settle in the pit of her stomach. “If I tell you the baby is yours, will you believe me?”

He went still against her and then he let all his breath out. He cupped his hand to the side of her face and held her against his chest.

“I’ll believe you, Kell.”

Slowly she pushed against his chest until she was eye level with him. How it hurt that he was willing to believe her now about their child, but he hadn’t been willing to believe her then when it came to his brother.

“She’s yours,” she said in a quiet voice.

Satisfaction was a savage light in his eyes. He framed her face tightly in his hands and then lowered his mouth to take hers in a possessive, fierce sweep.

Her lips were swollen when she managed to tear her mouth away. Her pulse raced and they stared at each other in silence. She was afraid to believe in him. So afraid she was nearly paralyzed with it.

“Do you believe me? I have to know, Ryan. We can’t go forward unless you believe me.”

His hand drifted down to the bulge of her belly and he slid his palm over the curve, splaying his fingers out until he covered a wide area.

“I believe you.”

She bit her lip to keep from asking him if he’d believe her about everything else. She knew he didn’t, he hadn’t. And maybe it was too late. Wasn’t it?

“Kelly?” His soft entreaty broke through her musings. He stroked her cheek with the tip of one finger. “I believe you. Okay? Jarrod said he wore a condom and the timing was right for us. I won’t believe you slept with anyone else. It was just that one time with Jarrod, wasn’t it?”

The soft plea froze her to the bone. Hurt crashed through her heart—a heart she thought was already irreparably shattered. She was wrong. She hadn’t thought there was anything Ryan could do to hurt her further. She’d been wrong about that too.

“Why does that make you cry?”

Ryan wiped at the tear that trailed down her cheek, his expression one of complete bewilderment. Then he leaned in and kissed the moisture away.

She braced her hands on his arms, her mind a chaotic twist of anger and wretched grief. It took every bit of her strength to gather her shattered composure and speak to him when what she wanted to do was flee.

“If this has any hope of working, you’ll never breathe his name to me again. You were the one who wanted this. One week. No past. Forget the past. It’s what you said. I’m holding you to it. You bring him up ever again, and I walk—no, I run. Are we clear?”

He looked shocked by her vehemence. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to push further, but she shook her head and started to slide from his lap.

He made a grab for her, pulling her close to him again. “All right. No past. I won’t bring it up again. I promise. Will you stay, Kelly? Will you work with me?”

She closed her eyes again and the fight left her. Her head dropped down and exhaustion crept in, gripping the back of her neck, squeezing until her entire head ached vilely.

His fingers slid around her neck, rubbing and caressing with gentle pressure. Had she been that obvious?

“I still care about you, Kelly.”

She leaned her forehead against his. His onslaught was relentless and he didn’t play fair.

“I’m afraid,” she whispered.

“So am I.”

Surprised by his admission, she retreated a few inches and flicked her gaze up and down, searching for the truth in his eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that. You aren’t the only one hurting. I… Damn it, I promised we wouldn’t bring the past up. I’m not going to. But you aren’t the only one who got hurt in all this. I cared about you. I wanted to marry you. I…”