Vicious Cycle (Vicious Cycle #1)(63)
I sat back on my knees and jerked a hand through my dark hair. “No matter how hard I try to see things differently, I’m always going to be no good for you, Alex.”
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”
With a glare, I countered, “Are you on some f*cking suicide mission or something? A closeted S and M freak who likes pain?”
“No. It’s not like that at all.”
“Then why would you want me to f*ck you like an animal after what you’ve been through?”
“Because I want to be with you. And even if it means not making love but f*cking hard and fast, I still want it because it’s with you. I’ve wanted you for so long, Deacon. Maybe even before that night in your basement. My head tells me to be leery of you. That I shouldn’t want to be with an outlaw like you. But no matter how hard I try to talk myself out of my feelings for you, my heart and body rage and riot for you.”
“Oh, f*ck,” I muttered, staring into her determined face. In spite of all our differences, she still wanted me. Regardless of the f*cked-up world I lived in, a good-hearted woman like Alex actually wanted me. And not just with her body to get to see what f*cking a bad boy was like. She wanted me with her heart, too. It almost overwhelmed me.
After momentarily nibbling on her bottom lip, she said, “If you can honestly say that you only want to screw me and feel nothing else but some bullshit obligation toward me, then I’ll get up from here. We’ll go on being friends and acquaintances, and I’ll never press you about having more again. And you can go back to Cheyenne, who clearly doesn’t think you two are over. Hell, maybe it isn’t over between you, and that’s why she isn’t letting go.”
“There’s not one damn thing between me and Cheyenne. So you can get that out of your f*cking head right now.”
Alex didn’t appear to believe me. “Then, if you feel for me like I do for you, f*ck me until I come screaming and clenching around you.”
I groaned. “Jesus, woman, your mouth is driving me crazy.”
“Wait until it’s wrapped around your cock.”
Lunging forward, I once again covered her body with mine. I stared down at her, shaking my head in disbelief that there was a woman like Alex who wanted me. “You don’t fight fair with the dirty talk.”
She gave me a teasing grin. “I learned from the best, Jesse James.”
Her amusement faded when I started to slide off of her. “Deacon—”
I brought a finger over her mouth to silence her. “I don’t want there to be anything between us the first time I f*ck you. So get up and get undressed.”
Without another word of argument, she slid off the bed. Standing at the edge, she worked the buttons of her shirt. Her eyes never left mine. When she slid it off her arms, she didn’t seem to be moving fast enough. Grabbing the waist of her jeans, I pulled her closer to me, before working the button and zipper. I pushed the jeans down her body. As her hands went around her back to undo her bra, I reached for her panties and tugged them down. Once she was naked before me, I couldn’t help staring. I’d already seen and touched every square inch of her body that night in the shower. But tonight was about taking care of different needs.
I brought my hand between her legs. She inhaled a sharp breath as I stroked her, feeling her clit begin to swell. My other hand went to her hip to urge her legs farther apart. When she spread her thighs, I thrust a finger into her, which caused her to gasp in pleasure. I added another finger as I began to move them in a punishing rhythm. She arched her hips forward, riding my hand. Her fingers gripped my shoulders, the nails digging into the skin as I brought her closer and closer to release. When she went over, her head fell back, and she moaned my name. It made me even harder.
She urged me onto my back. Her dark eyes burned with desire as her fingers came to the button on my jeans. After she unzipped me, she started tugging them down off my hips. When my rock-hard cock sprang free, she momentarily paused to give it an appreciative look. Once she tossed my jeans over the side of the bed, she crawled slowly up my legs. As she gripped my dick in her hands, her tongue flicked across the head. I sucked in a breath as she then dragged her tongue from the base up to the tip. She continued making teasing strokes with her tongue until I groaned in agony. “Alex, quit f*cking with me and suck my dick.”
Pausing, she glanced up at me. “That’s not the magic word.”
With a growl, I reluctantly said, “Please.”
She answered my f*cking plea by taking me deep inside her mouth. “Christ,” I grunted, arching my hips up. Her lips worked over my length while she pumped me in her hand. She started swirling and spinning her tongue around me while I was still in her mouth. Biting down hard on my lip, I willed myself not to blow my load like a teenage kid. For a seemingly good girl, Alex sure knew how to give head.
Grabbing her by the shoulders, I urged her up. Reluctantly, she let my cock fall free of her f*cking divine mouth. I kept pulling her until she straddled me. A grunt of both pleasure and frustration filled me when my cock slipped and slid through her wetness. “Wait,” I croaked. I flipped her onto her back and then climbed over to reach in the nightstand for a condom. After I slid it on, I glanced down at her to see her staring almost shyly up at me.
I had never made myself feel this vulnerable with a woman before. But for reasons I didn’t understand, I felt safe being open with Alex. She accepted me for who and what I was, which wasn’t easy. She loved my daughter like she was her own flesh and blood. She loved my mother and brothers just like they were her family, too.