Until the End (Sea Breeze #9)(42)

My fame came from being Jax Stone’s girlfriend, and then fiancée, over the past five years. Once he was seen with new girls, I was sure that would end. People would soon forget I existed. My hand went back to my stomach and I remembered that maybe I wouldn’t be able to fade away. If the media ever found out that this baby was Jax Stone’s, I’d have to go into hiding.

That is, if I ever told Jax. He may have been able to brush me away with ease, but I knew him well enough to be sure he’d want to know his kid. But could I trust him to protect me, too? And not let the media eat my life up?

Jax

Sadie’s red Mercedes Roadster that I had given her just two months ago was still parked in the garage space that was designated for her. The Jaguar I had given her last year was parked in the next space over. The other seven were also full as I pulled my Escalade ESV into the last space. She wasn’t gone.

I hadn’t told her to leave. I had, however, ended things. Pain sliced through me as the idea of losing Sadie sank in. My head pounded from the hangover from hell I had woken up with in the penthouse at the Wilshire. I wasn’t sure how I had even gotten there. After I had downed an entire bottle of vodka, things had started to fade away.

Sadie’s betrayal and the pain of having my heart ripped from my chest had numbed me, keeping me from drinking my weight in alcohol. It had been a reprieve until I woke up in my own vomit this morning, feeling like I’d been run over by a truck several times.

I stepped out of the Escalade and closed the door. I had to face her again. She’d had all night to decide what to do. When I had gotten a shower this morning and slowly started to sober up, the fear that she’d be gone when I got home had claimed me, and it had been hard to breathe.

She had been making out with my drummer behind my back. Seeing it from my publicist before it was going to hit the media today had been as painful as having my body sliced open slowly with a blunt knife. I had beat my drummer to the point that he was hospitalized, then I’d come home and finished unleashing my fury by yelling at Sadie.

Never had I ever imagined my sweet Sadie could do something like this. Just watching her try to explain it infuriated me and broke my heart at the same time. I didn’t want her lies. I had seen the proof. She’d gotten jaded by this life, and somehow I had missed it. Just like I had feared it would, it had gotten to her. People devoting websites to what she wore and where she went had gone to her head. It had changed her. The girl I had fallen in love with was now gone.

I had lost her, and it was all my fault. Bringing her into this world had ruined her. I never should have touched her. My selfishness had turned the most beautiful woman inside and out into what I despised.

She would have to leave. She wasn’t gone now, and she was probably ready to beg me so she wouldn’t lose this life I had given her. If she wasn’t Jax Stone’s fiancée, she was no one. She loved that life, apparently, and she wouldn’t go easily. Remembering that the girl I had fallen in love with was now gone would be hard. Forcing Sadie out of my house was going to destroy me.

This was a hell that I would never overcome. That I never wanted to repeat. No woman would own me again. Ever.

I was done.

I opened the door leading into the house from the garage and stepped inside. She wasn’t waiting on me. At least I would have a moment before her groveling started and I had to stomach seeing the woman I had loved turned into a greedy monster that this world had created.

I dropped my keys onto the table, knowing someone would put them where they were meant to go, and headed to the hallway that led to the back side of the house. I didn’t hear anyone, but I knew there were at least six employees here at the moment.

When I finally made it to the hallway that led to our bedroom, I stopped and took a deep breath. If she was in there asleep, I had to be tough. Hard. I couldn’t let the vision of her sleeping in the bed where we’d had the best moments of my life get to me. Sadie would destroy me completely if I didn’t do this. She had already ruined me. My soul was gone. She’d taken that and killed it. If I was going to get over this and move on, she had to leave.

I had to be the one to make her.

The door to our room opened, and Barbara walked out with a box in her hands. She paused when she saw me, and then her face hardened. What the hell? Had Sadie lied to her? Had the woman not seen the entertainment channels or looked at the paper today? Hell, we were going to be on the evening news before this was over. I wasn’t the one she should be pissed at. But then, Sadie’s sweet face could charm a damn snake. Beauty like hers blinded people.

“Is she in there?” I asked, angry that Sadie had turned my staff against me so easily.

Barbara scowled at me and shook her head. “No, sir. She’s gone. I’m finished packing up all her things, although she asked that I not send her the clothes she left behind. She didn’t want the things you had bought her. She had to take some of it because you’ve been her life for the past five years. But she wanted her pictures and some of the things she brought with her. I told her I would ship them to her mother’s. The things she left are still in her closet. I figured you could decide what you wanted done with them.”

My breath stopped and my chest tightened. “She’s gone?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

Barbara nodded. “Yes, sir.” She didn’t elaborate. She nodded again and walked past me as if she couldn’t get away from me fast enough.