Until Friday Night (The Field Party #1)(59)

My eyes stung from unshed tears as I nodded. He was right. West had someone. In fact he had a whole group of friends who would stand with him through anything. He wasn’t alone.

I was.

When I finally fell asleep last night, Brady still hadn’t returned. I was relieved. Knowing he was staying with West had helped me calm down enough to sleep. Today I’d have to face school. I’d have to face West. I’d have to face my choice.

Getting up was harder than going to sleep had been. I wanted to stay hidden away in my room for weeks. Until my chest didn’t hurt anymore. I had known from the start that West Ashby could hurt me if I let him in. I just hadn’t expected it to feel like this. I had imagined him breaking it off with me because he wanted someone else. Or he was bored.

This was so much harder. I had been the one to hurt him. Me. The look on his face wouldn’t stop taunting me. Reminding me of how much it had crushed me to say those words to him.

“Hungry? I made waffles,” Aunt Coralee said as I walked into the kitchen. Eating made me feel nauseous, but she’d made a stack of waffles, and I knew Brady wasn’t here to eat them.

“Brady isn’t here,” I said, hoping she knew that already. I didn’t want to get him in trouble.

She gave me a sad smile and nodded. “I know. I’m about to take these over to West’s. There’s a houseful of boys who need food. I spoke with Brady thirty minutes ago.” She walked over to me, put her arm around my shoulders, and then kissed the top of my head. “Are you okay?” she asked softly.

I nodded simply because I didn’t want to talk about it.

She squeezed me to her. “In life we often have to make decisions that aren’t easy. But it doesn’t mean they aren’t right.”

“But what if they’re wrong?” I asked before I could stop myself.

She let me go and moved to fix me a plate. “Then fate steps in and fixes things. You just have to trust it.”

I didn’t say any more. But her words played over in my head, and I hoped she was right.

You’ll Lose Her If You Don’t

CHAPTER 44

WEST

“Mom’s bringing waffles,” Brady said as he opened the curtains in my room and let the sunlight pour inside. “Get up and get showered. Nash is still asleep on the sofa. I’ll throw some ice on him before I leave. It’s the only way he’ll get up.”

We had stayed up most of the night. The guys had tried to get my mind off things, but it hadn’t worked. They just made it so I hadn’t been alone. If I had, I’d have ended up at Maggie’s window. More than once last night I wondered if that was why Brady had come over with all the guys. To keep me from going to Maggie. I wanted to resent him for it, but he was the only one who could keep me sane right now.

He told me about talking to her and how he really felt like she needed time to herself, to accept how far she’d come. It was all too much for her, and I was scaring her with my intensity on top of it. Thing was, I didn’t know how to be any other way with her. She made me a little crazy.

“You taking Maggie to school?” I asked him, knowing the answer.

He didn’t say anything at first, but finally he gave me one small nod. “I’ll eat at my house. The rest of the guys are up and dressed, waiting on Mom to come feed them. I think they left you hot water.”

“How do I handle today?” I asked him before he could leave the room.

He turned to glance back at me. “You give her space. You realize you can survive without her to lean on, and you make it through.”

He didn’t get it. He’d never been in love. What did he mean by space? Was I just supposed to ignore her? So I asked him, “How do I give her space?”

He shrugged. “You know, just leave her alone. Let her breathe.”

“Ignore her?” I asked. My voice was hard and angry, but I couldn’t help it.

He raised his eyebrows. “Yeah. I guess so.”

I stood up and threw my pillow across the room. “Fuck that! How the hell am I supposed to ignore her, Brady? Huh? I can’t ignore her. I’m in love with her.”

I’d never said that aloud before. Not even to her.

“If that’s so, then you need to find a way to back off. You’ll lose her if you don’t.”

“I’ve already lost her.” The words sliced through me as I said them.

“No, you haven’t. I’ve talked to her. Remember? I know what she’s thinking. All you did was scare her. She believes she’s just your crutch and nothing more. That’s why she’s doing this. I can assure you, she has no idea you love her.”

I should have told her. “If I tell her—”

“She won’t believe you. She’ll think you’re telling her whatever it takes to get her back. You’re going to have to let her go.”

I’d never be able to let her go. But I could pretend that I had if it’s what she needed from me. She’d been there for me when I needed her. It was time I did whatever I had to do to make her happy. If stepping back was it, then I’d do it.

Asa and Gunner both stayed until I left the house, trying to get me to ride with one of them. But I wanted the freedom of having my truck. When I finally pulled out of the drive and headed to school, they followed behind me. It was like they had to be sure I was going to show up for class.