Until Friday Night (The Field Party #1)(58)

“West, this . . . thing we have. It’s—” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I was there for you when you needed someone. And maybe I’ve become more of a crutch for you. You get angry if anyone gets near me or speaks to me, and that’s not normal. It’s unhealthy. I’ve never given you a reason to be so possessive. This thing between us can’t work if you hover over me like a madman.”

What the hell did that mean? I just wanted to keep her safe. How was that making me unhealthy? We weren’t messed up. And, yes, I was jealous, but that was normal. It was normal for me to be jealous. I was in love with her. “I can’t lose you. I can’t survive. . . .” I paused. “I need you to make it.”

Maggie let out a heavy sigh as she took a step back from me. I fought the urge to reach out and grab her and pull her close again. The distance terrified me.

“That’s not what a relationship is. You have the strength inside of you to survive. You don’t need me to do that.” She paused and closed her eyes tightly as if she were fighting back tears. I started to reach for her and apologize. Anything to make the sadness on her face go away. But she opened her eyes and stared up at me with a determination that still held unshed tears. “I think it’s best if we take a step back. I wanted to be the shoulder you could lean on and the one you could talk to. I wanted you to have everything I didn’t. But now I see it’s made us something that will never work. I can’t be your crutch. That’s not fair to either of us.” She reached up and wiped away the single tear that had slid down her face, then stepped back from me some more. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I never meant . . .” She trailed off and covered her mouth as a sob broke free. “I can’t do this, West.”

I heard her words, but my mind was screaming for her to stop. She couldn’t be saying what it sounded like. But before I could say anything, she turned and walked away. Leaving me alone. Again.

Then she turned and ran. She didn’t look back.

I stood, helpless and unable to react. The emptiness that haunted me before was clawing at my chest to get back in and suck the life from me. But more than that . . . I was lost and broken.

The one person I thought I could trust had just let me down.

He Wasn’t Alone. I Was.

CHAPTER 43

MAGGIE

Sitting in my room alone was all I wanted to do. Facing how unhealthy my relationship with West had become wasn’t easy. It was even harder to push him away. Which didn’t say much for me. The fact was, I still wanted him. He wasn’t the only one guilty here. I was too. I’d created this. I had let him become dependent on me.

This wasn’t what I’d intended to happen in the beginning. I had imagined finding a way for me to heal too while I helped him. It was a way for me to find peace. But we had become something more. Something I never imagined. Falling in love with West Ashby had not been part of my plan.

Having to face the truth and let him go was a result of that stupid emotion I’d fallen victim to. Love. But West didn’t love me in return. He needed me only to get through. One day he wouldn’t need me anymore, and that would be it. There would be no foundation there for us except a shared pain from losing a parent.

A swift knock on the door was followed by Brady’s entrance before I could invite even him inside. The frown etched on his forehead told me he knew. West had said something to him. I wished he hadn’t. I didn’t want to talk about it yet.

“Are you okay?” he asked, studying me closely.

I wanted to tell him yes so he would leave, his duties as caring cousin fulfilled. But the words wouldn’t come. I shrugged instead.

Brady nodded as if that made complete sense. “He’s not okay either. Don’t guess you want to tell me about it?”

No, I didn’t. Verbalizing it made it real. Just thinking about it in my head was easier.

“He’s attached to you. I’ve never seen him act about anyone the way he does about you. Honestly, it concerned me. You’ve been through too much to be expected to take on his baggage too. He needs to realize he can survive this without you holding him up.”

That made it sound like I’d abandoned West. I didn’t like thinking about it that way. I’d never do that. “He got furious because another guy talked to me today,” I replied. “It’s not . . . healthy. He looks at me like I am his possession to protect so no one can snatch me away. We’re only in high school. That’s not normal.”

Brady walked over and sat on the edge of my bed. “I agree. It’s not. But West has always had a temper. Even when we were kids. I think a bit of that is coming through now. Not that it makes it okay. It doesn’t. You’re a person. Not his personal belonging.”

“Exactly,” I muttered, feeling guilty for talking about him like this. He wasn’t here to defend himself, and I was telling his best friend things I shouldn’t.

“He wanted to come over. I told him no. That he needs to give you time to work through whatever you’re dealing with,” Brady explained. “You did the right thing.”

But West was alone. He had no one there with him. “He’s all by himself,” I said, feeling the guilt weigh heavily on my already aching heart.

Brady stood up. “I’m headed over there now. I called Nash already, and he should be there any minute. We got him. You take care of you. This past month you’ve made breakthroughs no one thought you could. You’re talking, Maggie. That means you’re healing. Focus on you. I’ll take care of West.”