Then Came You (The Gamblers #1)(38)

“No,” she whimpered, thinking he might break her neck.

Instead his mouth came down hard on hers, his fingers gripping her nape to hold her still. Lily stiffened in surprise and pain. Her lips were ground against her teeth until the taste of blood mingled with brandy. There was no way to break free. She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth.

Suddenly Alex lifted his head with a groan. His gray eyes were hot and radiant, his tanned skin burnished with rising color. One by one his ringers unclenched from her nape. Almost tentatively, he moved his thumb over her bruised lip.

“You bloody bastard” Lily cried, childishly spiteful. She writhed as he bent his head again. “No—”

He took her lips in a savage movement, sealing off all sound and breath, suffocating her until she inhaled deeply through her nostrils. She made a move to free herself, but Alex gathered her close, tight, his hand sliding down her back and molding her h*ps to his. He shaped her mouth with bites and nudges, and sought the silkiness inside, his tongue delving in hot surges. Helplessly she shoved at his powerful body, dislodging the blue robe from his shoulder. Her palm came against the hair-roughened surface of his chest. Underneath her fingers, a driving pulse seemed to burn through her hand. He made a sound in his throat and cupped his hands around her head, holding her steady for the deep push of his tongue. His breath rushed hotly against her cheek.

Only half-conscious of what he was doing, Alex moved down to her throat, rubbing his mouth over her skin. His body was shaking with passion. The past years of loneliness seemed to melt away into nothing more than a dark dream. Feverishly he buried his lips against her soft shoulder. “I won’t hurt you,” he muttered, his breath burning through her gown. “No, don’t pull away…Caro…”

The syllables fell so softly on her ears that it took Lily several seconds to realize what he’d said. She froze.

“Let go,” she spat.

Abruptly she was set free. Her dazed eyes flew to his face. Alex looked as confounded as she was. They each backed away a step. Lily shuddered, crossing her arms over her chest.

Alex passed an unsteady hand over his jaw, wiping away the moist traces of brandy. Aroused and ashamed, he fought the urge to reach for her once more. “Lily.”

She spoke rapidly, not meeting his eyes. “It was my fault—”

“Lily—”

“No.” She didn’t know what he intended to say, she just knew that she couldn’t listen. It would be disastrous. “This didn’t happen. None of it. I…I…good night.” She disappeared from the room in a flurry of panic.

Alex shook his head to clear the red mist of passion, and made his way to the chair. He sat down heavily. Finding his hands were clenched, he opened them and stared into his empty palms.

Caroline, what have I done?

You poor fool, he could almost hear Caroline’s laughing voice say. You thought you could hold on to me forever. You planned to marry a sweet innocent like Penelope, and then you would never have to let me go. As if the memories would always be enough for you.

“The memories are enough,” he said stubbornly.

Why have you always considered yourself above ordinary human weakness? Above grief and loneliness. You think you need less than other men, when the truth is you need more, much more…

“Stop it,” he groaned, clasping his head in his hands, but Caroline’s mocking shadow-voice persisted.

You’ve been alone for so long, Alex. It’s time to go on…

“I am going on,” he said raggedly. “I’ll make a new beginning with Penelope. God help me, I’ll learn to care for her, I’ll make myself—”

Alex stopped suddenly, realizing he was talking to himself like some poor mad fool, holding an imaginary conversation with a ghost. He lifted his head and stared unseeing into the empty fireplace. He had to get rid of Lily, if only to preserve his own sanity.

Lily crawled into bed and pulled the covers high under her neck. She couldn’t stop shivering.

How could she face Raiford after this? She could feel herself turning scarlet, even in the darkness of her room. How could he have done that to her? What was the matter with her? Grinding her hot face into the pillow, she remembered his mouth against hers, his arms locked around her body.

He had whispered Caroline’s name.

Humiliated, strangely hurt, Lily rolled over and groaned. She had to settle things between Zachary and Penelope and leave Raiford Park as soon as possible. She couldn’t manage Raiford as she did other men, using her sarcasm, temper, or charm. He was impervious to those things, just as Derek was.

She was beginning to understand some of what Raiford concealed behind that implacable face. From his reaction to her mention of Caroline, she knew he had never come to terms with her death. He never would. All his love had been given to Caroline—she’d taken it to the grave with her. For the rest of his days Raiford would be haunted by her. He would resent every woman for not being Caroline. An innocent like Penelope would spend her life trying to please him, and find only misery in the effort.

“Oh, Penny,” she whispered. “I must get you away from him. He’ll grind you into dust, without even meaning to.”

Contrary to his expectations, Zachary was not announced to Lily upon his arrival at Raiford Park. Instead he was shown to the library, where the earl of Raiford awaited him alone. “Raiford?” Zachary questioned, shocked by his appearance.