The Viper (Highland Guard #4)(76)

“What in Hades are you talking about?”

“This is your last mission, isn’t it?”

“Who—?” He stopped, knowing exactly who. “Seton.” He and that blasted knight were going to have another talk.

“Was it supposed to be a secret?”

“Nay.” He’d just hoped to wait until he’d gotten her back to Bruce to tell her.

“So it’s true?”

“Aye, it’s true.”

She looked at him as if she expected him to try to explain. He didn’t have to explain anything; he didn’t owe her any explanations.

“That’s it, then? You are just going to sail off and not look back?”

That was exactly the plan, blast it. His teeth gritted together. “I agreed to three years, and three years is almost over.”

She looked incredulous. “So you’re going to collect your money and go back to selling your sword to the highest bidder?”

His face darkened, not liking the hint of scorn in her voice. “I have some debts.” He couldn’t bring the men who’d died for him back to life, but he sure as hell could provide for their families. The money from Bruce would be the last payment on a debt that could never be repaid. But what he intended to do with the coin wasn’t any of her damned business. “Once they are paid, I’m done—with all of it.”

“You are returning to your clan?” He didn’t miss the note of hope in her voice.

His teeth grated together. “Nay.”

“I don’t understand you. I’ve watched you with these men. You are a good leader. Why are you shirking your duty to your clan?”

Good leader? He knew forty-four men who would disagree with her. “Leave it, Bella.”

This time something in his voice must have warned her, and she wisely chose not to press. “Then why not stay and fight with Robert?”

It wasn’t his fight, damn it. He wasn’t supposed to care who won or lost.

I don’t.

But he knew that wasn’t quite true. He wasn’t nearly as ambivalent as he wanted to be. Somehow, without him realizing it, he’d been caught up in the fervor and excitement of Robert the Bruce’s impossible, historic, legendary rise from the ashes of defeat.

And though they might irritate him at times—some more than others—his Highland Guard brethren were the best warriors he’d ever fought alongside. Together they’d done things he’d never dreamed possible.

But it didn’t change anything. “Bruce has his crown,” he answered.

“But it isn’t over. You know that as well as I do. Half of Scotland’s castles—all the important ones in the south—are still controlled by English garrisons. Yes, Robert has his crown, but he rules over only half a country, and his reign is by no means secure. He has many enemies within who would be eager to see him fall. And Edward will not ignore Scotland forever. War with England is inevitable. There is still so much to be done.”

The passion in her voice made him stare at her in disbelief. No. She couldn’t … “You can’t mean to get involved?”

She thrust up that chin and glared at him. “I will do whatever the king needs of me, once my daughter is out of danger.”

His eyes narrowed. Obviously the crushed rose hadn’t deterred her from trying to get her daughter back. The woman was as determined as she was stubborn. God’s blood, what if she did something risky again? His pulse leapt before he brought it back down.

Not my problem, he reminded himself.

“After everything you’ve been through you still want to fight? Are you so anxious to be imprisoned again?”

She paled. “Of course not! You saw what it was like. It was horrible. The cold. The bars. The endless hours with nothing to do but try to prevent myself from going mad.” She gave him a scathing glance, obviously furious at him for dredging up the unpleasant memories. “I can barely look at a closed door without feeling a shudder of panic. You saw it for yourself earlier with the shieling.”

“How did you do it?”

Her eyes locked on his. “How did you?” she challenged softly. When he didn’t say anything, she turned away with a shrug. “I thought of my family—of my daughter. I knew I had to get through it for her.” She turned back to him, eyes flashing again. “Why are you asking me this? You know what it was like.”

“Because that’s exactly what you are facing if you continue on this quest.” She needed to know the risks. “You’ve done enough, Bella. Take your freedom and don’t look back.”

“Don’t you see, it isn’t about me. It never has been.”

He didn’t see it at all. He never would. That was part of the problem. Things bigger than yourself, she’d said once. “Was it worth it?”

She flinched as if he’d hit her. The stricken look on her face almost made him wish his question back. Her chin quivered. “It has to be.”

The desperate plea in her voice did something to him. For one moment he almost thought he could be the man to help her make sure it was.

Apparently, she was under the same foolish impression, because she would not relent. “I thought you were a man who finished the job, not left it half done.”

The words pricked. She knew him better than he wanted to admit. Not my fight …