The Viper (Highland Guard #4)(75)

Her eyes filled with tears. The unexpected empathy caught her off guard. Anger she could fight against, but the glimpse of gentleness and sensitivity stripped her defenses, leaving her feeling vulnerable in a way she’d never felt before. In a way she feared she could not protect against.

Thankfully, he did not press. “Very well. Get some sleep. We leave at dawn.”

Lachlan wished he could follow his own advice. By necessity, warriors must be able to sleep anywhere for a short period of time, but his training wasn’t helping him tonight. He was too damned restless—and too damned angry. Not even a dunk in the river had helped.

The immediate demands of getting them away from Roxburgh and through the borders safely had kept him focused, but once they’d stopped, it all came rushing back. He wouldn’t have stopped at all, but he knew Bella needed rest. Despite the danger, he didn’t want to push her. Only the fact that Bella was barely able to stand on her feet had kept him from telling her exactly what he thought of her morning foray into the streets of Roxburgh.

He got angry just thinking about it. Anger didn’t bother him. That feeling was familiar. What he didn’t like was this other feeling. A feeling he was pretty damned sure was panic.

If anything had happened to her …

Shite, there it was again. That feeling. The instant rush of icy fear mixed with helplessness.

Nothing was supposed to get to him. For years he’d made himself impenetrable. Invulnerable. Not caring about anything. But she was changing that, and he didn’t like it.

Thank God this was almost over. Two more days—three at the most—and they would rejoin Bruce at Dunstaffnage. Then Bella MacDuff would be the king’s responsibility.

But for some reason, that thought only made him angrier.

He sensed a movement behind him and stilled. Instinctively, he reached for the hilt of the dirk at his thigh, ready to spin and throw at the next sound. But the loud crackle of leaves underfoot made him hesitate. Though light of step, the person was making no attempt to keep quiet.

He stiffened again, this time with rage.

Slowly, he turned around. His fists clenched as he watched her approach.

By the time Bella stood before him, blood was pounding hot through his veins. He felt like a lion tethered to a tree, straining against his chains. One more foot and he’d be on her.

“Go back to bed.” His voice came out like a low growl.

She didn’t know how much danger she was in. Every pulse in his body throbbed, every muscle coiled, every nerve ending flared. He was riding the dangerous edge of control and didn’t trust himself right now. Not with her so close.

God, he could smell her. The fresh scent of her soap mingled in the night breeze. Still garbed in the lad’s clothing, she’d wrapped two additional plaids around her for warmth. Unfortunately, the plaids did nothing to hide the shape of the very feminine curves underneath.

She eyed him warily but did not heed his warning.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she said, looking up at him, her pale face bathed in the soft moonlight. “I wanted to apologize.”

His jaw clenched. “For breaking your promise, disobeying my orders, or nearly getting us killed?”

Even in the moonlight he could see her cheeks heat. “For all of it. I don’t know what came over me.” She was fidgeting with her hands, something he couldn’t recall ever seeing her do, and he realized how much distress this was causing her. It didn’t make him feel any better. “I was watching for you to enter the gate when I saw her. I couldn’t see her face, but I knew it was Joan. I had to see her up close. I thought you would miss her.”

“I was about to pass her the note when I saw you.”

Her eyes widened. “You were? I didn’t think …” She bit her lip. “When I heard about Mary, I thought you might have agreed to go to Roxburgh for other reasons.”

She hadn’t trusted him. He’d given her no reason to, but still it stung. “I honor my promises, Bella. I might not make them very often, but when I do, I keep them.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Maybe I could understand the desire to see her. But what in Hades could have possessed you to throw that flower?”

She winced, biting her lip and pleading with him silently for understanding. “I don’t know. I didn’t think anyone else would see or understand. I didn’t realize the symbol was so well known. I couldn’t let her leave without doing something.”

“You didn’t know the most widespread symbol of rebellion?”

She shook her head. “How would I?” she challenged.

Somehow his hands were on her shoulders, and he was shaking her, all of the fear and frustration pouring out in one blast of fiery anger. “Damn it, Bella, you could have been captured! Do you know how lucky you were that Comyn didn’t recognize you? For Christ’s sake, what were you thinking!”

“I wasn’t.” She shifted out of his grasp. “You don’t have to bellow at me, I told you I was sorry. Why are you acting like you care, anyway?”

He should be glad she was still fighting after what she’d been through. Really he should be. But right now he wasn’t in the mood for being challenged.

She tilted her head back and gazed up at him with that proud-countess, defiant gleam in her eye. “Or was it just your own skin you were worried about when you are so close to getting what you wanted?”