The Vincent Brothers (The Vincent Boys #2)(39)

“This is new for me. I’m learning how to have a relationship with someone other than Ashton. I made a horrible mistake. It was like a relapse. But you,” I reached up and tucked the tear dampened hair that had worked its way loose behind her ear. “You touch a place inside of me that Ashton never did. I feel things with you I never felt for her. I loved her for a very long time. I can’t help the fact I still want to be there if she needs me. Next time there is a choice to make it will be you I choose first. I can promise you that.”

Lana searched my face as if she was waiting for more. I wasn’t sure what else I could say.

“It isn’t easy always being second best. Soon, I’ll be third best with my dad. I keep getting pushed down the list with him. Maybe that makes me selfish but I just need there to be someone who I can run to. Last night I was running to you,” she paused and swallowed. “You would think after the rejection I’ve been dealt in my life that I’d be used to it. But it doesn’t get easier. Not really. It makes you cautious. It makes you careful not to get your hopes up. I got my hopes up with you. It’ll be hard for me to hand that kind of trust over again. This doesn’t mean we can’t still see each other this summer. It just means we need to take a few steps back. We sped forward the other night in the tent. Now, we need to back up.”

She was forgiving me. I could earn her trust again. She’d open up to me again and I’d be ready for it. I would be there when she needed me.

“Fair enough,” I replied. I slipped a finger under her chin and tilted her head back. “I need to kiss you now.”

“Okay,” she whispered as my lips touched hers.

Lana

Beau had the camp packed up and strapped down on top of the Suburban when we arrived back at the campsite. He said Ashton needed to sleep in a decent bed tonight and we were all going to go to a hotel then head home in the morning. No one argued with him. I think we all were ready for a real bed anyway. I almost sighed in relief.

I told Jake to sit up front with Sawyer and said I’d sit in the back beside Ashton. I just wasn’t ready to spend any more time with Sawyer right now. I’d forgiven him but my heart was still wounded. Ashton had understood and she’d reached down and held my hand as I slid in beside her. It had been a quiet trip.

We were at the closest affordable hotel and the guys were getting our rooms. I wasn’t sure if I was sharing a room with Sawyer or if I was expected to get my own. I had enough to get my own if I needed to. No reason to save up for my college dreams. My dad had shot that hope down.

Sitting in the lobby of the hotel, I waited with the other girls. I was still dirty from our day outdoors and I wanted a shower. Not to mention I was exhausted physically and emotionally.

Sawyer walked toward me with his backpack and mine slung over his shoulders. “You need to get anything out of that duffle bag you and Ash are sharing?”

“Um... yeah. I guess. Are we sharing a room?”

Sawyer looked concerned as he closed the short distance between us. “I thought we were okay. You didn’t sit beside me but I figured you wanted to check on Ash.”

“That’s fine. I was just wondering. I can get my own room if needed.”

Sawyer reached out and slipped his hand in mine. I let him thread his fingers through mine. “I want you with me.”

I nodded and forced a smile. He bent down and kissed me on the forehead. “I’m going to fix this. I promise you. You’ll trust me again,” he whispered before straightening back up and leading me toward the elevator.

We all managed to get rooms on the same floor. Sawyer slipped the key card into the door to room 314 and opened it up. He held out his hand for me to enter first. The room was roomier than most hotels I’d stayed at but then he’d been determined that we were staying at the Marriott instead of the mom and pop motel across the street. A king sized bed sat in the center of everything.

“One bed,” I said, glancing back at him.

“They didn’t have any doubles available. Is this okay?”

“Sure,” I replied and reached for my backpack still on his shoulder. “Can I take a shower first?”

He slid it down his arm and handed it to me. “Of course. Take your time. I’ll order us some dinner.”

“Okay, thank you.”

I turned to walk into the bathroom.

“Lana?” His voice sounded sad. I hated making him sad but I didn’t have the energy to do anything about it. I was drained.

“Yes?” I asked and turned to look back at him. He reminded me of a lost little boy. His perfect face was troubled.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Being an idiot,” he replied.

“I’ve already forgiven you, Sawyer.”

He looked defeated. “Have you really?”

“My forgiving you doesn’t make my heart hurt less. It takes awhile to heal.”

I didn’t wait for his response. I closed the door behind me and turned on the shower.

Chapter Eighteen

Sunlight poured in through the window and an arm held me tightly while a leg had me pinned to the bed. Sawyer had snuggled up against my back at some point last night. I’d eaten the cheeseburger he’d ordered me and a few bites of chocolate cake before curling up as far away from his side of the bed as possible and falling asleep instantly. I was still on my side but Sawyer was pressed up against me. He was holding onto me like some sort of lifeline.