The Vincent Brothers (The Vincent Boys #2)(38)

“Who said she was gonna be the one on the ground?” Jake replied.

Listening to talk about Beau and Ash’s sex life wasn’t something I was in the mood for. I quickened my pace until I was only steps behind Lana. The little shorts she was wearing cupped her ass tightly as she took each long stride.

I’d had my hand on that sweet little bottom just the other night. I was having my doubts that I’d ever get that chance again. The idea bothered me. No, I wasn’t okay with that. I wasn’t ready to let her go. August wasn’t here yet. I wasn’t ready to walk away from her.

“Are you going to ever speak to me again?” I asked. She paused before continuing her uphill trek.

“Sure. What do you want to talk about?” she replied in a bored voice.

“Lana, please slow down and talk to me,” I pleaded.

She didn’t slow down. If anything, she picked up her speed. If she kept this up, she was going to have to break into a run.

“Nothing to talk about Sawyer. I’d rather just walk.”

Reaching out I grabbed her hand and stopped her. She tried snatching it back and I held firm.

“Let go of me,” she snarled, finally lifting those bright green eyes to meet mine. The hurt in them made my knees weak. Ah, damn. What the hell had I done?

“Please, Lana, please talk to me,” I begged, closing the distance between us.

“Keep walking folks. Nothing to see. Let Sawyer attempt to clean up the mess he’s made,” Jake announced as the others walked past us.

Once they’d gotten far enough ahead, I let Lana pull her hand free of my grasp.

“Fine. Talk,” she said, crossing her arms protectively over her chest.

“Last night...” I began trying to think of how I could explain this to her without making it worse.

“I’ll help you since you seem to have lost your words. Last night Ashton got sick and you had an excuse to hold her and take care of her. You went into protect-and-comfort-Ashton mode. Nothing or no one else mattered because you love her. She needed you and you were right there for her without question. You wouldn’t let me help her because you couldn’t stand the thought of missing the chance to hold her.”

“That’s not it. Being tuned into helping Ashton is a habit. I’ve been doing it for most of my life. That kind of habit is hard to break.”

Lana let out a hard laugh, “Really? Well, isn’t that a cute little tidy way to wrap up everything I just said.” Lana took a step toward me, pointed a finger at my chest and jabbed me with it. “I’m tired of being second choice or third choice. I’ve got enough of that in my life. Last night, I needed someone too. I needed someone to listen to me. Too bad no one wants to be Lana’s shoulder to cry on. No one cares that Lana needs someone to give a crap about her.”

Her eyes glistened with unshed tears and my chest got so tight I felt like it was about to crack open.

“This is over. Leave it alone. I’m done.” Lana spat, then turned around and began to walk away. Acting quickly, I reached out and wrapped my hand around her arm.

“What happened last night? Why did you need me?”

Her shoulders heaved and I pulled her back against my chest and held her whether she wanted me to or not.

“Let me go, Sawyer,” her voice broke.

“No. Now tell me what you meant by all that.”

Another sob broke free and she shook her head angrily. “NO. You don’t get to demand answers. I don’t tell people much. I keep my emotions inside. But last night, I wanted to tell you,” she let out a short sad laugh. “I thought I might have someone who wanted to listen. Someone who would care. But I was wrong.”

“No, you weren’t. I do care. I want you to talk to me.”

“Too late,” she growled, pulling against the hold I had on her.

“I was wrong last night Lana. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Please, please forgive me. It’ll never happen again,” I paused, unsure if I was ready to bare my soul to her.

“You’re right. It won’t happen again. Because I’m done with trying to make people care about me. I shouldn’t have to work so hard to get those that I love to love me back. No one else has to try so damn hard. No one. Just me. Just Lana McDaniel. I’ve had it. If I am so difficult to want then I don’t need anyone. I’ve managed alone this far. I’m a freaking pro!”

If it was possible for someone else’s pain to break your heart then Lana’s pain had just shattered mine. Emotion burned my throat as I tightened my hold on her. I’d wanted inside her head. She was so closed off and I’d wondered why. Now I knew. She didn’t trust anyone enough to let them in—until last night. She’d decided she could let me in, and what had I done? I’d thrown her trust in her face. God, I was the world’s biggest idiot.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Can you forgive me? Can you trust me to put you first? I swear what happened last night will never happen again. It was the first time I’d had to deal with something like that since the break-up. When Beau came back and Ashton scrambled into his lap and arms with desperation to be near him. It didn’t hurt the way I thought it would. It just slapped some sense into me. She didn’t need me anymore. She wasn’t mine to protect. I could move on. It was time. Last night was a closure I needed.” I stopped and grabbed Lana’s shoulders and turned her around to face me. Her red swollen eyes just about sent me to my knees.