The Recruit (Highland Guard #6)(123)

Mary had never seen him like this. The cocky, too-handsome-for-his-own-good knight looked worried and unsure of himself. Didn’t he know he’d proved himself many times over in the past few days? Not just during the long, horrible hours on the ship where he’d gotten her through some of the most difficult and terrifying hours of her life, but by giving himself up for her, seeing her and her son to safety, coming for her, protecting her.

She shook her head. “No.”

His face fell. “No, you won’t give me a chance?”

Her mouth curved at his crestfallen expression. “No, you don’t need to prove yourself to me. I believe you. I believe in you. How can I not, after what we just went through? There is no other man I would have by my side.”

His entire body seemed to relax. “Do you mean that?”

She nodded. Mary knew she could face the challenges ahead of her on her own, but she didn’t want to do that. She wanted to face them with someone else. She wanted to share her life with him.

Her mouth twitched. “But I will hold you to your vow to discuss your plans with me. If you are involved in anything dangerous in the future, please let me know.”

She’d meant it as a jest, but his face shadowed. “Aye, well, about that.”

She sat up a little higher in the bed. “Don’t tell me there’s something else?”

He winced. “I took a vow of silence before I met you.”

She frowned, her nose wrinkling. “Does this have something to do with Bruce’s phantoms?”

He looked at her in surprise. “How did you guess?”

She stared at him. Could he really not know? “You mean besides the fact that they are supposed to have virtually inhuman strength and skill, and I’ve seen you fight? There’s also the fact that you are all uncommonly tall and built like siege engines. But most important, I saw you with them. Even in pain, I could see that you were one of them.”

He looked stunned. “You could?”

It was obvious, apparently except to him. She nodded. “I must admit I was surprised to see that you are so close to your brother-in-law, given your clan history.”

“MacKay?” He shook his head. “We hate each other.”

She arched a brow. Men were so blind sometimes. “You act like brothers to me.”

He frowned, as if he’d never considered it. She refrained from laughing and rolling her eyes. “Why did he call you Recruit?”

“That’s what I am. I’ve been trying to win a place on the team since I met you last summer at Dunstaffnage.”

He told her why the loss that day had meant so much to him. “I let my temper get to me,” he explained, “and MacKay took advantage of it. Instead of winning a place outright on the team, I’ve been fighting ever since to earn my place.”

Mary felt a pang, understanding probably more than he intended. It was always like that for him. Having to fight his way on. Having to prove himself. That was why winning was so important to him. “And have you?”

“Yes, I think I finally have.”

“I’m happy for you.”

He tipped her chin. “It’s what I thought I always wanted. But it isn’t. You and our son are the most important things in the world to me. I know what you’ve been through. I won’t put you through this, if you don’t think you can handle it. I won’t lie to you—being part of the Guard is extremely dangerous. Not just for me. You could be in danger if my part in it is ever discovered. If you don’t want to be a part of it, I’ll understand.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’ll tell Bruce I can’t do it, if you want me to. There are other ways I can fight for him.”

Mary was stunned. She knew how much this meant to him. After a lifetime of proving himself, he’d finally done so, earning his way into the most vaunted team of warriors in Christendom, and now he would walk away from it for her? “You would do that for me?”

“I would do anything for you.”

Her heart swelled until she thought it would burst. Tears glistened in her eyes. He would never know what that offer had meant to her. Just as she knew she could never ask it of him. “I don’t know, I think I should like being married to a real-life hero.” She smiled. “Besides, I don’t think you want to see your brother-in-law get all the glory, do you?”

A wide grin spread across his face. “Hell no! He’s bloody unbearable as it is.”

“Then you must keep him in his place.”

He reached down and cupped her face in his warm hand. “I love you.”

The look of tenderness in his eyes brought a fresh lump of emotion to her throat. Tears filled her eyes. “And I love you.”

He kissed her. Gently. Reverently. A soft brush of the lips that sent her heart slamming against her ribs. Too soon, he lifted his head and smiled. “I should let you get some rest.”

She shook her head. “Don’t go. I’m not tired.” She’d just gotten him back; she didn’t want him to leave again.

He seemed to understand. “Scoot over.”

He moved onto the bed beside her, leaning against the headboard, so that she could snuggle against him. She sighed with contentment, resting her cheek against his steel-hard chest and feeling the protective strength of his big arms wrapped around her.