The Recruit (Highland Guard #6)(122)

Mary watched the interplay between the siblings with a wistful expression on her face. He knew she was thinking of Janet. He was going to have a talk with Bruce about that very soon. If he knew anything about her sister, Kenneth intended to find out. Mary deserved an answer.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

Their eyes held. “Much better.” She held out the babe. “Would you like to hold him?”

Kenneth hoped the horror didn’t show too plainly on his face. But when all the women in the chamber started to laugh, he knew it had.

Helen was still chuckling when she reached for the baby. “Here, I’ll take him. You two will want some privacy. And once my brother gets over his irrational fear”—he didn’t bother denying it—“I suspect I won’t get a chance to hold him very often.” Helen turned to him. “Have you decided on a name?”

Kenneth looked to Mary. “I thought William would be nice,” she said. “In honor of your brother.”

His chest swelled, touched by the gesture to a brother who would have no sons of his own. He could see that Helen was as well. He nodded, remembering another William, too.

Helen left the room, taking baby William and the other ladies with her.

Kenneth felt himself strangely at a loss for words. He sat down on the edge of her bed and took her hand in his. “I’m sorry, Mary. I’m sorry for getting you into this. I know you didn’t want to come here—”

“But I did,” she interrupted. “You were right. It was time to come home.”

“I should have given you a choice.”

“Aye,” she agreed. “But I can see why you did not at first.”

“I was scared of losing you,” he said, trying to explain what kept him from telling her.

She nodded. “I can understand that, too. When I heard you were to be arrested—” She stopped, her face paling. “I knew nothing else mattered as long as you were safe. I was so scared that they’d taken you. What happened?”

He gave her a short explanation, piecing together what he knew as well as what Sir Adam had told him. “I knew that I had to reach you before they took you into the castle. It’s not impenetrable, but it would have taken time and been much more dangerous to get you out.”

“You convinced Sir Adam to help you?”

“It wasn’t too difficult. He wanted to help.”

“He said something strange before he left. He asked for my forgiveness.”

Kenneth watched her eyes widen with surprise, and then fill with tears, as he told her the part Sir Adam had played in what had happened the last time she’d tried to escape.

“I don’t believe it,” she said. “He betrayed me?”

“He didn’t think he was betraying you, he thought he was protecting you. The English were too close. He thought they’d catch up to you and you would be imprisoned. He made a deal with the English soldiers, giving them Lady Christina’s men in exchange for the promise that you would be kept safe. But when the MacRuairis defeated the soldiers, everything went wrong. He tried to prevent you and your sister from being trampled on the bridge by destroying it, but then your servant fell and your sister ended up where she shouldn’t have been. He blamed himself for what happened to her, even though he couldn’t have known she would turn back.”

Mary appeared stunned. “No wonder he became upset every time I asked him to help me find her.” Her brows drew together. “That sound at the bridge last night—the boom and crack of lightning—it was just like that night with my sister. What was it?”

“Black powder. My foster brother William Gordon, Sir Adam’s nephew, had knowledge of it as well. As do I, although not at the level of theirs. I was looking for the recipe in those journals when you found me in the baby’s room. I didn’t find anything, but I suspected after what you told me about that night that Sir Adam had similar knowledge. I knew that it would help our chances of getting away, and he agreed to give me what I needed to see you free.” He smiled. “I wish I’d been able to carry more of it; it would come in handy the next few months.”

Suddenly, Mary seemed to recall something. “If you’ll hand me my bag, I think you will find that won’t be necessary.”

Puzzled, he handed it to her. She pulled out a folded piece of parchment and gave it to him. He scanned the page, his eyes widening when he saw the recipe he’d been searching for. “He gave this to you?”

She nodded. “To give to you.”

He shook his head in amazement. Without realizing it, his wife had just handed him a place in the Guard.

Nay, he realized. He’d done that on his own—even without the powder. He’d brought Mary and Atholl back to Scotland. He’d uncovered key information about the castles for the upcoming war. Not to mention single-handedly defeating nearly a score of English soldiers. He’d proved himself more than equal to the task. He’d proved himself one of the best.

He’d achieved what he wanted—more than he wanted—so why wasn’t he happy?

Because looking at his wife, he knew that none of it mattered if he didn’t have her by his side. Kenneth had been fighting his whole life, but winning her was the only fight that counted.

He took her small hand in his, looking deep into her big, blue eyes. “Can you forgive me, Mary? I know I hurt you. I should have told you sooner, but I was scared to lose you. I love you. Just give me a chance to prove it.”