The Program (The Program #1)(88)

“What’s wrong with you?” I ask, stepping back.

“QuikDeath,” he says. “Because there’s no point. We’ll never be free of The Program, and even when we are, who’s to say they don’t change the rules? That they don’t come after us as adults? My cousin?” Liam says, tears beginning to gather in his eyes. “He killed himself yesterday. He was twenty-one, Sloane. That means the epidemic is evolving.”

“Or maybe he just committed suicide,” I say, my stomach in knots. Fists pound on the other side of the door, shaking it.

Liam coughs again, spitting blood onto the patio. Red streaks his lips. He’s going to die. He’s going to die if I do nothing to stop it. I reach to take out my phone, but Liam slaps it from my hand, sending it across the wooden planks.

His eyes momentarily roll back in his head before he focuses on me again. His body convulses. And then he collapses against the door, sliding to the ground, his eyes locked on mine. “You’re no one,” he whispers before he goes still altogether.

I pause only a second, my breaths coming out in quick gasps like I might hyperventilate. The door shakes again, and I decide that I can’t be here when they find him. I can’t be involved in this. So I run, grabbing my phone on the way, and scramble down the stairs into the parking lot of the Wellness Center. I text Lacey and tell her that I’m at the car. We have to leave. Now.

As I wait there, hiding, people flood the patio. Handlers move people aside, the Wellness staff clearly horrified that someone would commit suicide in such a safe place. I block out all the things that Liam told me. I block out his theories. Because an ache in my forehead is pulsing, worse than it was earlier.

When Lacey reaches me, she looks frazzled. She doesn’t say a word as we speed away, leaving the Wellness Center behind us. When we’re a safe distance away, she finally turns to me.

“Who was it?” she asks. “Who terminated?” Her face is pale with fear.

“Liam.”

Her eyes widen. Then she turns back to the road, pressing her lips together. “Did you see it?”

“Yeah.”

“You were smart to get out of there. Things are getting crazy. You feel it too, right?”

And I do. But I’m not sure I can handle any more talk of the epidemic tonight, not when my head is killing me. “Yes, but I have to get home,” I say. “I don’t want my parents to worry.” But really, I have something else in mind. I need to talk about tonight, both about my dad and about Liam. I need to talk to someone who’ll understand. I need James.

“Your parents?” Lacey sounds surprised. Then she tightens her grip on the steering wheel. “Maybe you’re not as rebellious as I thought.” She pulls up to the corner before my house. “Better get out here,” she says. “Wouldn’t want my car to give you away.”

Her voice is tense, and I think she’s shaken by the suicide. I just hope it’s not enough to make her sick again. To make any of us sick.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

LATER THAT NIGHT, AS MY PARENTS SLEEP, I TAKE A massive amount of Advil, get into my mother’s car, and drive to see James.

At the curb, I exhale and gaze at his large white house, wondering where his room is. I want to tell him that my father confirmed that Brady killed himself. And I want to tell him about what Liam said about the epidemic, and how I had to watch him die from QuikDeath.

In my hand, my phone vibrates. I hope my parents haven’t realized that I’m missing. I check the screen.

WHY ARE YOU SITTING OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE, STALKER?

I close my eyes. I’m just about to shove my phone back into my pocket and peel out, when it vibrates again. I shouldn’t even read it.

STAY THERE.

Yeah, right. I can’t face him now. I turn the ignition, but a figure streaks across the lawn toward my car. I swear under my breath and wait.

A second later the door opens, flooding me with uncomfortable light as James gets in. When we’re immersed in dark again, I feel him staring at me. “Well?” he asks.

My heart races in my chest. I’m worried that he doesn’t care about what I have to say. I shouldn’t be here. “Forget it,” I tell him, sounding exhausted. “This is dumb.”

“Where were you tonight? I texted.”

I meet his eyes. “I know. I went to the Wellness Center with Lacey. And something . . . happened.” His shoulders tense, and I go on. “That guy Liam? He killed himself. He took QuikDeath, but not before saying that he and I used to date, calling me empty for not remembering. He said that his cousin committed suicide yesterday at the age of twenty-one. Liam says the epidemic is evolving—”

“You saw Liam die?” James asks, ignoring the rest.

I nod. “And I talked to my dad earlier,” I say. “He’s drinking; he and my mother are fighting. Everything’s falling apart at home, but I finally asked him about my brother.” Tears trickle over my cheeks. “Realm was telling the truth. Brady did kill himself.” I’m consumed with grief, absolutely consumed.

“I’m sorry,” James says.

I shake my head. “And I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this. You made it pretty clear that you’re not interested in finding out about the past. I—”

“No,” James says coolly. “I’m not interested in your love life. I am, however, interested in finding out what happened to your brother, and how I fit into it.”