The Perfect Match (Blue Heron #2)(108)

The wine and cheese had yet to be cleaned up. “Um, want a glass of merlot? It’s really nice. Velvety texture, currant and blackberry jam overtones, dark chocolate and tobacco in the finish.”

He smiled, more genuinely this time. “Thanks, On. You’re the best.”

That was true. She got him a glass and sat down, glancing at her watch. Six o’clock. Tom would be done with the boxing club. She wondered if things would be easier at home tonight. Kind of doubted it.

“So what’s up?” she asked. Her dog had already curled up on Brogan’s shoe.

“I did call you,” he said. “Your cell phone was off.”

“Yeah. The movie and all. I’m old-school.”

He looked at her with those brilliant blue eyes. Much to her surprise, they were filled with tears. “Dana’s not pregnant.”

Without thinking, she reached out and gripped his hand. “Oh, Brogan, I’m so sorry.”

Poor Dana! A miscarriage, just when—

“She never was.”

Honor’s mouth opened. “What?”

Brogan covered his eyes with one hand. “She lied, Honor. This morning, she told me she thought she might’ve had a miscarriage, and so I rushed her into Jeremy’s office, and she was being all weird and resistant and stuff, and then she didn’t want me in the exam room, and I was freaking out, you know? I wanted to take her to the hospital, but then Jeremy asked me to come into the room, and she told me. She never was pregnant.”

“But...did she think she was?”

“No.”

“Why would she lie about that?”

Brogan shook his head. “She said I put all this pressure on her and she maybe thought for one day that she was pregnant, and then she kind of ran with it because I was so happy. So we had this huge fight, and I just don’t know what to think.”

“Wow,” Honor breathed. “I’m really sorry.” She paused. “Where did you leave things?”

“I don’t even know,” he said, his voice shaking. “I mean, can I marry someone who’d lie like this? Should I? And, On, the thing is, I really wanted to be a dad.”

She squeezed his hand. “I know how you feel.” She paused. “I really want kids, too.”

“I hope you and Tom have a bunch,” he said, trying to smile at her.

Oh, poor Brogan!

“I guess you need to talk things over. Maybe cool down a little,” she said.

He nodded. Then, abruptly, he covered her hand with his and held it hard. “You know what I wish, On?” he said. “I wish I’d fallen in love with you. I wish it so much.”

“Gosh. Thanks.”

“No, I mean it.” His eyes were brimming. “You and I, we’re perfect for each other. I don’t know what was missing. We like the same things, we can talk for hours, and with Dana, maybe it’s just sex. Just a primal, physical reaction. All we do is screw—”

“Okay, that’s probably too much information, big guy. Listen, I’m really sorry about all this, but I think you should be talking to Dana.”

“I’ve always loved you, On.”

She took a breath. “I seem to remember being compared to Derek Jeter’s old glove. Anyway, you’re upset, and—”

“Maybe I just didn’t appreciate you.”

“Yes, that came through loud and clear.”

“But I would now. Especially after being with Dana. I can’t believe she lied to me! I told everyone I knew, Honor! Everyone! You’d never do something like that.”

Honor sighed and extracted her hands. Patted Brogan’s knee. “Look, Brogan, you’ve had a big shock, and I’m really sorry. But you have things to work out, and I should go.”

“I love you. I really do. We’ve stayed friends for a reason, after all. Maybe we should give it a chance.”

“This is so uncomfortable. And you don’t mean it.”

“I think I do.” With that, he leaned forward, hesitated and kissed her.

She could’ve stopped him. Maybe she just wanted to see if he still had any hold over her. Maybe it was just years of reflex, accepting whatever affection Brogan had seen fit to bestow. Maybe her brain was just too slow to react. Whatever the case, she kept her mouth firmly closed, and didn’t feel anything at all. Well, no, that wasn’t true. When she’d been in seventh grade, she’d practice-kissed the cement pole in the church basement. It felt rather like that, a cold nothingness.

Brogan pulled back. “See?” he said.

“Hallo, darling.”

And then she did feel something, oh, yes indeedy.

Tom’s face was dangerously calm. That face, which could convey more in the quirk of an eyebrow and the slightest smile, had nothing on it now, and Honor felt ice wrap around her heart. “Hi,” she said. “Um, how are you?” Great question.

“Didn’t mean to interrupt. Your phone was off.” His eyes were as cold as the lake in December.

“Listen, man, I’m sorry you had to see that,” Brogan began.

“Not at all. It was quite educational.” He looked at her for another beat, but his eyes were blank. “Right.” With that, he turned to leave.

“Tom,” Honor blurted, “it’s not what you think.” Her heart was jangling in her chest, panicked and cold. “Tom, I—”