The Look of Love (The Sullivans #1)(43)

Fortunately, it was easier to be brave with Chase than with anyone else. Because she knew that he loved her.

“The truth is that I won’t be able to control myself around you, either. The truth is that even though I can’t give you what you want, even though I should be the one to let you go find someone who’s capable of loving you the way you deserve to be loved, I don’t want to walk away from you. From this. I can’t give you what you want. All I’m capable of giving right now is sex. Just sex.”

Oh God, what was wrong with her? Why was she letting herself get in any deeper than she could handle?

“Then that’s what we’ll do.” He held out a hand to her. “Have lots and lots of great sex.” He paused, his expression serious. “But not until you feel better. Not until you’re not shaking anymore from having to relive that night.” He lifted her hand to his lips. “I’m sorry I made you go back there, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”

“You needed to know,” she told him. And, surprisingly, she felt a little lighter for having shared her story with someone who cared for her. Deeply, truly cared.

She walked all the way into his arms. “I feel much better,” she told him.

“There’s no rush,” he said, even though both of them knew that there was, as their days together ticked down. And she didn’t want to waste another second thinking about what Dean had done. Damn it, hadn’t she vowed that he wouldn’t steal this from her, too?

“I really do think I’m ninety-nine percent of the way there,” she said. “Think you’re up to helping me get that last percent back?”

Chase stared at her for a long moment before his mouth moved into a sinfully sexy smile. And then his lips were sliding across hers so softly she almost couldn’t feel his kiss.

But her body reacted instantly.

A few seconds later, he kissed her again. Just as softly. She tried to kiss him back, but he pulled away before she could. Another kiss, too gentle and quick for her to do more than just wait for it.

No, damn it! If they were going to do this just sex thing, she couldn’t let him give her these soft, senselessly enticing kisses. From here on out she needed to make sure things stayed physical, not emotional.

Having sex, not making love.

Hot kisses, rather than sweet.

Amazingly, she knew exactly where to start. “Let’s—”

He pressed another one of those soft kisses against her lips.

“—go—”

Another kiss.

“—outside.”

That finally stopped his mind-bending onslaught and it occurred to her that he’d been trying to kiss her into submission. A gentle capitulation.

And, oh, if he did that long enough, gave her enough of those sweet kisses that stole her breath and made her heart pound with wanting...well, she could see that he just might end up drawing a promise out of her that she wasn’t ready to give.

A promise in return for pleasure.

Chase had told her he wasn’t going to give up. But she was just as firm in her position. So if he was going to try to make tonight about emotion, she was going to make sure they erred on the side of the physical.

Her resolve firmed just as he came at her with another one of those sinfully sweet kisses aimed straight at her heart. Pulling away before it could land, she led him to the French doors and out to the balcony off the bedroom. She didn’t need to hear his questions to know he was wondering what the heck she was up to.

Well, he’d just have to wait and see.

At the last second, she realized they were going to need one more thing before leaving the room. “Where are your condoms?”

Out of her peripheral vision, she could see his erection grow bigger, taller. “In my bag.”

“Get one.” She smiled at him, a smile that felt wicked and different. But not bad. Liberated. “At least one.”

His eyes narrowed, a muscle jumping in his jaw, at her command.

Another wicked smile, along with the brush of her hand across the stubble beginning to cover his jaw. “You don’t like me telling you what to do?”

“On the contrary,” he responded, his words raw and rough, “I like it a great deal.”

Darn it, she was trying to keep a handle on things here. He shouldn’t be able to turn everything on its ear with just a few words.

The night air still held some of the warmth of the day, but it was cold enough that she could feel it slide across her overheated skin. It felt good, like a splash of sense. Just enough sense to keep her purpose in place, but not enough to have her put a halt to being with Chase altogether.

When they were all the way outside, she turned back to Chase, plucking the condoms from his fingertips—he was clearly a hopeful man given the stack he’d brought out—and placing them on the rail within easy reach.

She let herself look at him for a long moment, the way he stood before her in the moonlight, utterly confident in his nudity. Of course he was. Any man—any person—this beautiful should be confident.

Her intention to keep things only physical slipping ever so slightly, she found herself saying, “You could have anyone. Why me?”

His thumb rubbing sensuous little circles against the inside of her palm, he replied, “I knew the instant I saw you.”

“What—” She should stop this, move back to playtime. But her mouth was a traitor with another question. “What could you have possibly known?”