The Look of Love (The Sullivans #1)(42)

“I was stunned for a minute. I honestly couldn’t believe what he’d just done. I kept waiting for him to start apologizing, to admit that he was completely out of control. But the look on his face, it wasn’t sorry. It was like he was finally victorious, looking at me there with his mark on my face. I was so freaked out that he was going to do it again or something worse, that I didn’t think, I just grabbed the nearest paint can and swung it at him. And then while he was down, I grabbed my bag and ran.”

She was shaking from recounting the story to him and he hated that he’d asked her to go there, that he’d made her relive it all.

“Chloe, sweetheart, you’re all right now.”

She closed her eyes tight. “Do you know what I was doing the whole time I was driving away in the rain? I kept wondering, why was I so stupid? That’s probably why I crashed into the ditch. Because I couldn’t pay attention to anything but that voice in my head that said I should have seen it coming.”

“Looking for the good in people is never stupid.”

She opened her eyes. “But being blind and naïve is.” She gave him a small smile that never reached her eyes, before moving her hand from her face to his. “I know you must have guessed some of this as soon as you saw the bruise on my cheek. But thank you for not pressuring me to call the police. I will. I know I have to. For once in my life, I’ve got to fight for myself. For my own life. And know deep inside myself that I can win that fight.”

From the moment Chase had met Chloe, every last one of his protective urges had come to the fore. Again and again, he’d wanted to jump in and take care of everything for her.

Never more than right this second. He wanted to get in his car and track down the bastard and make sure he never came near her again, make absolutely sure he never had another chance to lay a hand on her.

Only, damn it, he knew that if he did that, if he wrapped Chloe up tight and made sure everything was soft and easy for her from here on out, wasn’t that nearly as bad as the way her ex-husband had stolen her freedom from her?

How was he going to find a way to love her without smothering her need to be free?

“You’ll win.” He knew it with every fiber of his being.

Her fingertips moved across his lips. “So much faith in me,” she said softly. “I’m so glad you were the one who found me in the storm.”

But they both knew that didn’t really change anything. Because he couldn’t just tell her, “Hey, you know what? I think you’re ready for a new relationship.” Not when she’d just made it abundantly clear to him that she wasn’t.

As if she were reading his mind, she said, “So if I can’t be your girlfriend, is that it?” Her words were soft, but clear. And steady, even as she added, “Does that mean this is over?”

Chase had never been so torn between what he wanted...and what he knew he should do. But she’d just been completely honest with him, despite all the reasons she could have come up with not to trust him.

He owed her the same.

“I should say yes,” he finally gritted out against her fingertips. “If I had one single ounce of decency, I would say, yes, it’s over.” He took her hand in his. “But obviously I’m just as much of a scumbag as any other guy, because the thought of not touching you again, of not kissing you again, of not making love with you again...” His gut clenched tight, as if an invisible fist had gripped it. “I can’t even imagine it.”

He held her gaze, knowing his was as dark, as heated, as hers. Chase knew he shouldn’t keep pressuring her to give him things she wasn’t anywhere near ready to give, even as he said, “If the choice is to take what you’re offering or to walk away, I choose this. I choose you. I choose whatever you’re willing to share with me. Even though I’m never going to stop wanting more from you than just awesome sex. Even though I’m always going to want to change your mind.”

“Chase, I—”

He put a finger over her lips. “I know you’re not ready and I know I shouldn’t push you, but damn it, I can’t help the way I feel. I can’t stop myself from loving you.”

Chloe's eyes got big at the word love and a moment later when she scrambled off his lap with sudden, fierce strength, it took everything Chase had to let her go.

Chapter Twelve

Chloe knew she had been honest. Painfully so.

So had Chase.

She’d even offered to walk away from him. She’d tried to be honorable, just as he’d been with her.

But Chase was clearly a realist. Just as she was. And they both knew that their physical connection was undeniable. Unstoppable.

“I know you don’t want to hear that I'm falling in love with you,” he said softly. “But that doesn’t make it any less true.”

Oh god, she shouldn't want to hear that he was falling for her, not when it scared her to death to know how deep his feelings ran. And yet, she couldn't deny the warmth that spread through her at knowing what she'd come to mean to him.

He was standing now, facing her. Waiting.

There were a million excuses she could have made, a dozen lies she could have tried to tell.

But she couldn't.

“I’m sick of lying to myself. I can’t do it. Not with you.” The admission came out before she could pull it back and she willed herself to be brave.