The Host (The Host #1)(62)

“What was that?” Ian asked, his voice shocked.

I peeked through my fingers to see both of their faces leaning through the hole toward me. Ian’s was black, but part of Jared’s was lit, his features hard as stone.

I wanted to be still, invisible, but tremors I couldn’t control were shaking violently down my spine.

Jared leaned away and came back with the lamp in his hands.

“Look at its eyes,” Ian muttered. “It’s frightened.”

I could see both their expressions now, but I looked only at Jared. His gaze was tightly focused on me, calculating. I guessed he was thinking through what Ian had said, looking for the trigger to my behavior.

My body wouldn’t stop shaking.

She’ll never give up, Melanie moaned.

I know, I know, I moaned back.

When had our distaste turned to fear? My stomach knotted and heaved. Why couldn’t she just let me be dead like the rest of them had? When I was dead, would she hunt me still?

“Who is the Seeker in black?” Jared suddenly barked at me.

My lips trembled, but I didn’t answer. Silence was safest.

“I know you can talk,” Jared growled. “You talk to Jeb and Jamie. And now you’re going to talk to me.”

He climbed into the mouth of the cave, huffing with surprise at how tightly he had to fold himself to manage it. The low ceiling forced him to kneel, and that didn’t make him happy. I could see he’d rather stand over me.

I had nowhere to run. I was already wedged into the deepest corner. The cave barely had room for the two of us. I could feel his breath on my skin.

“Tell me what you know,” he ordered.

CHAPTER 19

Abandoned

Who is the Seeker in black? Why is it still searching?” Jared’s shout was deafening, echoing at me from all sides.

I hid behind my hands, waiting for the first blow.

“Ah—Jared?” Ian murmured. “Maybe you should let me…”

“Stay out of it!”

Ian’s voice got closer, and the rocks grated as he tried to follow Jared into the small space that was already too full. “Can’t you see it’s too scared to talk? Leave it alone for a sec —”

I heard something scrape the floor as Jared moved, and then a thud. Ian cursed. I peered through my fingers to see that Ian was no longer visible and Jared had his back to me.

Ian spit and groaned. “That’s twice,” he growled, and I understood that the punch meant for me had been diverted by Ian’s interference.

“I’m ready to go for three,” Jared muttered, but he turned back around to face me, bringing light with him; he’d grabbed the lamp with the hand that had struck Ian. The cave seemed almost brilliant after so much darkness.

Jared spoke to me again, scrutinizing my face in the new illuminations, making each word a sentence. “Who. Is. The. Seeker.”

I dropped my hands and stared into his pitiless eyes. It bothered me that someone else had suffered for my silence—even someone who had once tried to kill me. This was not how torture was supposed to work.

Jared’s expression wavered as he read the change in mine. “I don’t have to hurt you,” he said quietly, not as sure of himself. “But I do have to know the answer to my question.”

This wasn’t even the right question—not a secret I was in any way bound to protect.

“Tell me,” he insisted, his eyes tight with frustration and deep unhappiness.

Was I truly a coward? I would rather have believed that I was—that my fear of pain was stronger than anything else. The real reason I opened my mouth and spoke was so much more pathetic.

I wanted to please him, this human who hated me so fiercely.

“The Seeker,” I began, my voice rough and hoarse; I hadn’t spoken in a long time.

He interrupted, impatient. “We already know it’s a Seeker.”

“No, not just any Seeker,” I whispered. “My Seeker.”

“What do you mean, your Seeker?”

“Assigned to me, following me. She’s the reason —” I caught myself just before I spoke the word that would have meant our death. Just before I could say we. The ultimate truth that he would see as the ultimate lie—playing on his deepest wishes, his deepest pain. He would never see that it was possible for his wish to be true. He would only see a dangerous liar looking out through the eyes he’d loved.

“The reason?” he prompted.

“The reason I ran away,” I breathed. “The reason I came here.”

Not entirely true, but not entirely a lie, either.

Jared stared at me, his mouth half-open, as he tried to process this. From the corner of my eye, I could see that Ian was peering through the hole again, his vivid blue eyes wide with surprise. There was blood, dark on his pale lips.

“You ran away from a Seeker? But you’re one of them!” Jared struggled to compose himself, to get back to his interrogation. “Why would it follow you? What did it want?”

I swallowed; the sound seemed unnaturally loud. “She wanted you. You and Jamie.”

His expression hardened. “And you were trying to lead it here?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t… I…” How could I explain it? He’d never accept the truth.