The Host (The Host #1)(57)

The way he stared at me—angry, trying hard to be brave and grown-up, but also showing the fear and pain so clearly in his dark eyes—had Melanie sobbing louder and my knees shaking. Rather than take a chance with another collapse, I moved slowly to the tunnel wall across from Jeb and slid down to the floor. I curled up around my bent legs, trying to be as small as possible.

Jamie watched me with cautious eyes and then took four slow steps forward until he stood over me. His glance flitted to Jeb, who hadn’t moved or opened his eyes, and then Jamie knelt down at my side. His face was suddenly intense, and it made him look more adult than any expression yet. My heart throbbed for the sad man in the little boy’s face.

“You’re not Melanie,” he said in a low voice.

It was harder not to speak to him because I was the one who wanted to speak. Instead, after a brief hesitation, I shook my head.

“You’re inside her body, though.”

Another pause, and I nodded.

“What happened to your… to her face?”

I shrugged. I didn’t know what my face looked like, but I could imagine.

“Who did this to you?” he pressed. With a hesitant finger, he almost touched the side of my neck. I held still, feeling no urge to cringe away from this hand.

“Aunt Maggie, Jared, and Ian,” Jeb listed off in a bored voice. We both jumped at the sound. Jeb hadn’t moved, and his eyes were still closed. He looked so peaceful, as if he had answered Jamie’s question in his sleep.

Jamie waited for a moment, then turned back to me with the same intense expression.

“You’re not Melanie, but you know all her memories and stuff, right?”

I nodded again.

“Do you know who I am?”

I tried to swallow the words, but they slipped through my lips. “You’re Jamie.” I couldn’t help how my voice wrapped around the name like a caress.

He blinked, startled that I had broken my silence. Then he nodded. “Right,” he whispered back.

We both looked at Jeb, who remained still, and back at each other.

“Then you remember what happened to her?” he asked.

I winced, and then nodded slowly.

“I want to know,” he whispered.

I shook my head.

“I want to know,” Jamie repeated. His lips trembled. “I’m not a kid. Tell me.”

“It’s not… pleasant,” I breathed, unable to stop myself. It was very hard to deny this boy what he wanted.

His straight black eyebrows pulled together and up in the middle over his wide eyes. “Please,” he whispered.

I glanced at Jeb. I thought that maybe he was peeking from between his lashes now, but I couldn’t be sure.

My voice was soft as breathing. “Someone saw her go into a place that was off-limits. They knew something was wrong. They called the Seekers.”

He flinched at the title.

“The Seekers tried to get her to surrender. She ran from them. When they had her cornered, she jumped into an open elevator shaft.”

I recoiled from the memory of pain, and Jamie’s face went white under his tan.

“She didn’t die?” he whispered.

“No. We have very skilled Healers. They mended her quickly. Then they put me in her. They hoped I would be able to tell them how she had survived so long.” I had not meant to say so much; my mouth snapped shut. Jamie didn’t seem to notice my slip, but Jeb’s eyes opened slowly and fixed on my face. No other part of him moved, and Jamie didn’t see the change.

“Why didn’t you let her die?” he asked. He had to swallow hard; a sob was threatening in his voice. This was all the more painful to hear because it was not the sound a child makes, frightened of the unknown, but the fully comprehending agony of an adult. It was so hard not to reach out and put my hand on his cheek. I wanted to hug him to me and beg him not to be sad. I curled my hands into fists and tried to concentrate on his question. Jeb’s eyes flickered to my hands and back to my face.

“I wasn’t in on the decision,” I murmured. “I was still in a hibernation tank in deep space when that happened.”

Jamie blinked again in surprise. My answer was nothing he’d expected, and I could see him struggling with some new emotion. I glanced at Jeb; his eyes were bright with curiosity.

The same curiosity, though more wary, won out with Jamie. “Where were you coming from?” he asked.

In spite of myself, I smiled at his unwilling interest. “Far away. Another planet.”

“What was —” he started to ask, but he was interrupted by another question.

“What the hell?” Jared shouted at us, frozen with fury in the act of rounding the corner at the end of the tunnel. “Damn it, Jeb! We agreed not to —”

Jamie wrenched himself upright. “Jeb didn’t bring me here. But you should have.”

Jeb sighed and got slowly to his feet. As he did so, the gun rolled from his lap onto the floor. It stopped only a few inches from me. I scooted away, uncomfortable.

Jared had a different reaction. He lunged toward me, closing the length of the hallway in a few running strides. I cowered into the wall and covered my face with my arms. Peeking around my elbow, I watched him jerk the gun up from the floor.

“Are you trying to get us killed?” he almost screamed at Jeb, shoving the gun into the old man’s chest.