The Hawk (Highland Guard #2)(98)

Ellie felt ill. She couldn’t believe that the man she’d considered a friend had betrayed not only Hawk but also his own uncle.

What else had he told them?

She turned away sharply, addressing Ralph. “How did you find me?”

“Randolph was certain the rebel would head for Ireland.”

Dear God, had Thomas told Ralph the plan? Giving no hint to the panic rising inside her, her eyes flickered to Thomas.

“Hawk told me he intended to take you home,” Thomas explained.

She bit back the sigh of relief at his half-truth. Apparently, Thomas hadn’t completely betrayed them. Their eyes held for a moment before she turned back to Ralph for him to continue.

“We laid a trap in the channel last night, but when the storm hit we were forced to retreat. I was certain the outlaw would do the same, but Randolph assured me the storm would not stop him. As soon as the storm abated we set sail for Ireland. He is more reckless than I imagined.” Ralph’s face darkened. “The fool could have killed you both.”

She placed her hand on his arm. “He saved my life,” she said truthfully. “More than once.” Tears pricked her eyes. “Whatever else he might have done, I am here, and he is gone. All I want to do is go home and forget.”

Ralph was immediately contrite. “Of course you do. You must be exhausted. We can talk later. Your family will be overjoyed to have you returned safely.”

He gave the orders to turn about, and she frowned. “Are we not going to Ireland?”

He shook his head. “Forgive me, I forgot that you did not know. Your father has been ordered by the king to the castle at Ayr.”

Scotland. She couldn’t believe it. While she’d been on Spoon Island, her father had been a coastline away.

Ralph sat her on a chest near the bow of the boat, bundled a few more blankets around her, and gave her a comforting squeeze of the hand. “It’s good to have you back, Lady Elyne. Lady Mathilda will be relieved.” A strange look crossed his face. “All your brothers and sisters will be relieved.”

He was kind, she realized. She’d known it before, but her odd discomfort around him had always gotten in the way. Guilt welled up inside her. She needed to tell him the truth. “My lord, there is something …” Her cheeks fired. “Something I must tell you.”

“There is no need,” he said firmly. She started to protest, but he stopped her. “You aren’t to blame for anything that has happened. Randolph told me that you had become … er, close with the man who took you.”

She couldn’t believe it. He knew—or at least suspected—and didn’t care. His understanding only made it worse. She couldn’t let him think that she’d been forced. “I was not unwilling, my lord,” she said in a whisper.

He gave her a long look—more pensive than accusing. “Whatever happened is in the past. You are safe now; that is all that matters.”

He was going to make it easy on her. Easier than even she’d expected. Easier than she deserved.

“Rest,” he said. “We can talk later.” He paused, a frown settling over his strong, handsome features. “I’m afraid your father will have many questions for you. King Edward is most anxious to catch this rebel sea captain they call the Hawk. He’s convinced Bruce is planning something.”

Her blood chilled, but she forced her expression to remain impassive. “I’m afraid I won’t be much help.” None, in fact.

He held her gaze, perhaps understanding too much, and then gave her a swift smile. “Be that as it may, you should be prepared.”

She nodded, appreciating the warning. She recalled that Ralph and Bruce once had been close friends. Was he more sympathetic to Robert than she realized?

He returned to his men, leaving her to the cruel solitude of her thoughts. Her parting from Erik had been so swift and unexpected that she hadn’t had time to think. But now, with every minute that took her farther away from him, the cold realization settled in. As the magnitude of what she’d lost hit her, Ellie was filled with an overwhelming sense of despair. The future seemed bleak and lonely. It seemed impossible to believe that she would never see him again. That the freedom and happiness she’d known were at an end.

How was she going to go back to her life as if nothing had happened? How was she going to do her duty and marry Ralph when she loved another man?

She didn’t want to believe that it could be over so suddenly, and she found herself glancing over her shoulder more than once. She knew he wouldn’t come after her. He couldn’t, even if he wanted to. Which he didn’t. But the foolish part of her that didn’t want to accept the truth wouldn’t listen to reason.

If only it didn’t have to hurt so much.

What had she expected? Hadn’t she known that this was the only way it could end?

She’d convinced herself that he cared for her. That she was different. That a future between them might be possible. But he’d never professed to love her or want anything more than the pleasure he’d offered. She’d given him a chance by confessing her feelings, but he hadn’t taken it.

The only thing tempering her heartbreak was that soon she would see her family. With favorable winds, the galley made short work of the crossing that only hours earlier had very nearly killed them. It wasn’t long before the sandy shores and verdant hillsides of the Ayrshire coast came into view.