The Hawk (Highland Guard #2)(93)

This was how it should be after lovemaking, she realized. No awkward silences or recriminations. No expectations. Just comfortable, shared contentment.

They lay there for a while, and Ellie noticed that the boat wasn’t being tossed around as much. The waves didn’t seem as high. The wind, too, seemed to have died down a bit.

“Does it feel calmer to you?”

He chuckled in her ear. “Anything would feel calm after that.” If he wanted to make her blush, he’d succeeded. “Many old mariners believe that ‘lying-a-hull’ and drifting as we are doing encourages the seas to calm.”

Ellie didn’t know whether he was telling her one of his tales, but this time she hoped it was true. “Do you think the worst is over?”

He paused a moment, as if he were letting his senses consider her question. “Aye, I think it might be.” He drew her closer into his embrace. “Get some rest, Ellie. You’ve earned it.”

She couldn’t sleep, not in the storm. But her eyes felt heavy, and a few minutes later, despite her protest, they closed.

When they opened again it was still dark.

She was cold and wet and couldn’t move her arms. It took her a moment to realize where she was, but then all at once it came back to her. The storm. Drifting. Their frenzied passion. She couldn’t move her arms because she was still locked in Erik’s steely embrace.

“Feel better?” he asked, loosening his hold enough for her to stretch her legs and arms, which were not surprisingly stiff from their cramped position.

“Aye,” she replied, realizing it was the truth. “Did you rest?”

“A little.”

She shot him a look. Liar. She bet he hadn’t slept a wink. Suddenly, she realized something and sat up. “It stopped raining!”

They’d done it. They’d survived the storm. He was right; they weren’t going to die.

He grinned at her expression. “A few hours ago. Not long after you fell asleep. The squall departed as quickly as it arrived.”

She gazed up at the sky, noticing that the mist had dissipated as well. She could even see a sliver of moon peeking through the clouds.

“What time is it?”

“A couple hours before dawn.”

She bit her lip, realizing that although they’d survived the storm, there was no way Erik would be able to complete his task in time. She put her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry.”

He looked perplexed until he realized what she meant. “It’s not dawn yet, Ellie. We’ll get there in time.”

Never give up.

“But you don’t even know where we are. We could be miles from shore.”

“Could be,” he agreed amiably, “but I don’t think so.” He pointed ahead of them to the right. “That should be the coast of Ireland.”

In the darkness it was impossible to be sure, but she saw what looked like a large, darker blur against the dark backdrop. He’d already picked up the oars and started to row toward it.

The mass grew closer and closer. And as the darkness started to fade with the approaching dawn, she knew he was right: it was Ireland. The northeast corner, to be specific. She could just make out the chalky, white cliffs that had given the headland its name: Fair Head.

She couldn’t believe it. They just might make it. By luck or skill, she didn’t know, but he’d done it. They were no more than two miles from the coast. But it was no more than an hour before dawn; the first rays of orange sunlight were already peeking out above the black sky of the horizon.

“I hope you are ready to meet the king,” he teased.

Ellie froze. “The king?”

“After I meet your friend in Ireland”—she grimaced, realizing he meant the Irish scourge who’d wanted to kill her—”I’ll have to think of a way to explain your good health.” His eyes twinkled with mischief, as if he had an amusing secret. “You’ll come with me to Rathlin to join Bruce.”

He smiled at her as if he’d just given her a wonderful gift.

The blood drained from her face. “But you said you were going to take me home.”

He frowned, as if she was ruining his surprise. “But lass, surely you see that I can’t do that now. There isn’t time. Besides, I didn’t think you wanted to go.”

She didn’t. She did. He was confusing her.

But if he meant to take her to Bruce …

Ellie knew she couldn’t put it off any longer. She bit on her lip anxiously, her hands twisting in the folds of her cloak.

She had to tell him. Even though she knew that everything would change when she did.

But first she had to tell him how she felt, or she would never have a chance to know his true feelings.

“I love you,” she said softly.

He stopped rowing, the only indication that he’d heard her. His expression never flickered.

But then he smiled and broke her heart. She never knew that a heart could be eviscerated with kindness. But his gentle smile did just that.

“Ah, lass, I’m glad of it. Though I suspected as much after what happened in the cave this morning.”

She might as well have just given him a tasty apple pie like one of his other admirers, not her heart.

What had she expected? A return declaration?

Nay, but she’d hoped for something more than quiet acceptance and gentle affirmation. Some indication that he might care for her, that what they’d shared was special. Some indication that he might be capable of loving her back. Kindness was so much worse.