The Gamble (Colorado Mountain #1)(118)
“But you’re still domineering.”
“And you like it.”
“I do not,” I snapped.
“Baby, if I wasn’t you’d be at the hotel in town or worse, in Denver and you wouldn’t be right here.”
“Which is where I don’t want to be. I want to be upstairs, nursing my snit,” I shot back.
“Too bad, darlin’, because you aren’t goin’ anywhere.”
“Fine, then I’ll nurse my snit here,” I shot back, crossed my arms and transferred my glare to the fire.
After a moment Max sighed then his hand came to the back of my neck and, as he sat back in the chair, he forced my head to his shoulder. I let him do this but I still kept my eyes on the fire and my arms crossed on my chest.
We were silent awhile before Max spoke again.
“Becca told me about Mindy.”
At his tone, I pulled in breath, pushed down my irritation and asked, “Sorry?”
“She told me that she was worried somethin’ like today would happen.”
I uncrossed my arms and lifted my head to see he was also gazing at the fire.
“Really?”
“Yeah,” Max replied, not shifting his eyes from the fire. “That’s why we moved her out of her place and into Becca’s. Becca and I decided it on Tuesday. We needed to keep a closer eye on her so we worked it and got it when Damon fell into our plans, bein’ such a dick.”
Something was wrong in his tone, in the blankness of his face so I called, “Max.”
“Shoulda kept her up here with us,” Max whispered and I knew what was wrong.
I slid my arm along his belly and curled it around his side, whispering, “Max.”
“Shoulda told Brody.”
“Max.”
“Shoulda took her myself to talk to someone.”
I gave him a squeeze and said more firmly, “Max, look at me.”
Slowly, his eyes went from the fire to me and what I saw in them made me melt into him as my arm left his middle and my hand went to his neck.
“Darling, this stuff will torture you if you don’t let it go.”
“Nina –”
“I missed the signs too and I’ve seen them before.”
“Nina.”
“You couldn’t have stopped today if this was where she was heading. You can’t do that to yourself.”
“Hard not to think I f**ked up when all I got in my head is you jumpin’ into that river and her floating in it.”
Yes, I was such an idiot.
My fingers flexed at his neck and I pulled myself up to get closer to him.
“Max, you didn’t f**k up.”
“Coulda took you both.”
“Max –”
“Woulda been on me if it did.”
I pulled up closer and my hand slid into his hair.
“Stop it,” I whispered, Max opened his mouth to speak and I moved to stop him, pulling up further and pressing my mouth to his.
His hand slid up my spine, my head came up from my kiss and I saw his eyes were still dark with bleak emotion.
I slid my nose alongside his and spoke again. “Max, stop it, everyone’s safe and I won’t run into anymore rivers, I promise.”
“Baby –” he whispered, unamused.
“Sweetheart, don’t go down that path. I’ve been down it and, trust me, it leads nowhere.”
His eyes moved over my face then his fingers slid into my hair and he pressed my face into the side of his neck.
“Sorry, Duchess, you don’t need this shit, the demons you been battlin’ today,” he muttered, my arms slid around him and I kissed his neck.
Then I said, “You know, earlier today I wondered if it would have hurt less if I hadn’t been alone when Charlie died.”
His fingers slid through my hair and he asked, “Yeah?”
“I decided it wouldn’t have.”
“Probably not.”
“But, maybe, if I hadn’t been alone I wouldn’t have wandered down that path.”
“Probably not,” he repeated.
“So, since you’re not alone, will you let me guide you away from that path?”
He was silent a moment then he asked an impossible question, “Where we goin’, honey?”
“I don’t know, just not there.”
His body shook with silent humor, not a lot of it but it still shook.
“That shield you got, babe, like titanium,” he muttered and my arms gave him a squeeze.
“I thought we were going to enjoy being alive, breathing and alone?” I reminded him.
“Yeah.”
“We’re not really doing that.”
“Nope.”
“Let’s move onto that phase of the evening,” I suggested.
His fingers curled around my shoulder and gave me a squeeze.
“Good idea,” he murmured.
“Do you want a beer?”
“No.”
“I can make some hot chocolate,” I offered.
“Thanks, but, no.”
“Do you want anything?”
“Anything?”
My stomach dipped and my body grew tense.
“Max –”