The Duchess War (Brothers Sinister #1)(55)
“Minnie,” he said, “do you have any idea what I hope to accomplish? You must have gathered that my father took ownership of a factory here and ran it into the ground—that I hope to make up for that. I have a half brother who matters more to me than anyone in the entire world, who is looked down on for his birth. I don’t stand on my prerogatives.”
Minnie could scarcely breathe.
“But that is only part of what I hope to see in my life. If I had my way, I would abolish the hereditary peerage in its entirety.”
She gasped.
“Every aspect of it,” he said fiercely. “Lords should be indicted like commoners and tried by juries. We should not have the right to reject laws that Commons proposes. In fact, I don’t think the House of Lords should exist at all. I wish to hell I was simple Mr. Blaisdell. My father—you have no idea how dreadful he was.”
His hands clenched at his side; his eyes blazed with a light she hadn’t seen since he talked to Finney.
“I could apologize for the benefits I inherited from him,” Robert said. “But I learned long ago that an apology changes nothing. So I plan instead to use them—use them to make sure that what my father did, no lord will ever be allowed to do again.”
This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t be saying those things.
But telling herself that did no good. Minnie was just as certain that she was seeing the heart of him now.
“Of all the benefits I plan to relinquish, the chance to wed some peer’s daughter will be the first to go. Think about what it would mean if I did offer for one for those girls. What would she think when she discovered that my life’s goal was to divest her father, her brother, of their prerogatives? My parents fought every moment they were around one another. I won’t have that kind of marriage. I won’t.”
She had nothing to say to that.
“Second,” he said. “I’ve never expected love from a marriage. At best, I’d hoped to find an ally. Someone who would support me in what will come.” He looked over at her. “You’re better than I at tactics. You’d be a terrible wife for a duke, but for a man who doesn’t want to be a duke any longer? I can’t imagine anyone better.”
She couldn’t imagine anyone worse. He didn’t know about her. He didn’t know.
“Third,” he said. “I want you. I want you very badly. I want you so much that when you fall down half a hall away from me, I’m by your side before anyone else can move. I want you so much that there are nights that I think of nothing but having you.”
She felt those words, felt them in the inner core of her, in a flash of heat and longing that encompassed every lonely night she’d spent. In that, they were well matched. But…
“What of fidelity?” she asked. “I should like to know what to expect. Are you to have mistresses? Am I allowed to take lovers?”
He looked her over. “The last thing I’m thinking of right now is other women,” he muttered.
“Answer the question, if you please.” Her voice shook.
“Is that what you want? For us to take lovers at whim?”
“You’ve said you don’t love me.” Her voice was surprisingly steady. “If I had my preferences, I would want my vows to mean something. I was thinking more of your needs. I don’t want to be unprepared.”
He exhaled and gave her a glimmer of a smile. “Ah.”
She crossed over to him. “You said that we’d be allies, that we’d think of each other. I can imagine what it’s like to be a duke. Thus far, you’ve had your choice of women.” And many of them, she didn’t doubt. “Don’t make a promise that will only chafe at you later. I’d rather have flat honesty than fidelity and flattery at this point.”
“Flat honesty?”
She nodded.
“Then, my dear, you’ll have it. I’m not so desperate for sexual relations as you might imagine. I don’t need to wrangle women into my bed to obtain regular release. God gave me a strong left hand, and there have been many nights when I’ve preferred it to a woman.” He wasn’t looking in her direction. He couldn’t be embarrassed by that admission, could he?
But his confession sent another flash of molten heat through her—the idea of him naked and hard, of his hand on his member. What would he look like when he stroked himself? Would he like long, hard strokes, or soft, gentle ones?
“I can’t ruin my hand’s reputation,” he said, “or hurt its feelings, or get it with child. It has proved by far the safest option available to me. So you tell me, Minnie. Do you think you need to take lovers?”
“I have never given the matter any thought.” It was true; she’d never considered being unfaithful in marriage. Not even if she’d married a man who took mistresses.
“Because I very much believe in making things clear,” he said. “I don’t want any misunderstandings between us. And—if it comes down to it—I promise that if you take a disgust of me, I will let you leave. No little stratagems to try to get you to return. No withholding of pin money. None of that.” He swallowed. “I know things change. There is nothing worse in a marriage than a husband using his power to force his wife. I won’t do it.”
“Robert.” Minnie turned to him. “There is no danger of my becoming disgusted by you.”