The Demigod Files(16)

Pin-striped suit, neatly trimmed grey beard, stormy eyes and a very large, dangerous lightning bolt.

Now:

On stormy days, he can be found brooding in his throne room in Mount Olympus, over the Empire State Building in New York. Sometimes he travels the world in disguise, so be nice to everyone! You never know when the next person you meet might be packing the master bolt.

Then:

In the old days, Zeus ruled over his unruly family of Olympians while they bickered and fought and got jealous of each other. Not much different from today, really. Zeus always had an eye for beautiful women, which often got him in trouble with his wife, Hera. A less-than-stellar father figure, Zeus once tossed Hera’s son Hephaestus off the top of Mount Olympus because the baby was too ugly!


POSEIDON 

(PO-SY’-DUN)

GOD OF THE SEA

Distinguishing Features:

Hawaiian shirt, shorts, flip-flops and a three-pointed trident.

Now:

Poseidon walks the beaches of Florida, occasionally stopping to chat with fishermen or take pictures for tourists. If he’s in a bad mood, he stirs up a hurricane.

Then:

Poseidon was always a moody guy. On his good days, he did cool stuff like create horses out of sea foam. On his bad days, he caused minor problems like destroying cities with earthquakes or sinking entire fleets of ships. But, hey, a god has the right to throw a temper tantrum, doesn’t he?





HADES 

(HAY’-DEEZ)

GOD OF THE UNDERWORLD

Distinguishing Features:

Evil smile, helm of darkness (which makes him invisible so you can’t see the evil smile), black robes sewn from the souls of the damned. He sits on a throne of bones.

Now:

Hades rarely leaves his palace in the Underworld, probably because of traffic congestion on the Fields of Asphodel freeway. He oversees a booming population among the dead and has all sorts of employment trouble with his ghouls and spectres. This keeps him in a foul mood most of the time.

Then:

Hades is best known for the romantic way he won his wife, Persephone. He kidnapped her. Really, though, how would you like to marry someone who lives in a dark cave filled with zombies all year round?


ARES 

(AIR’-EEZ)

GOD OF WAR

Distinguishing Features:

Biker leathers, Harley-Davidson, sunglasses and a stinking attitude.

Now:

Can be found riding his Harley around the suburbs of LA. One of those gods who could pick a fight in an empty room.

Then:

Back in the day, the son of Zeus and Hera used to be inseparable from his shield and helmet. Fought on the side of the Trojans during the war of Troy, but, frankly, has been involved in every minor skirmish since Goldilocks told the three bears that their beds were a little uncomfy.





ATHENA 

(Ah-thee’-nah)

GODDESS OF WISDOM, WAR

AND USEFUL ARTS

Distinguishing Features:

Dark hair, striking grey eyes, casual yet fashionable clothes, (except when she’s going into battle; then it’s full body armour). Athena is always accompanied by at least one owl, her sacred (and, fortunately, housebroken) animal.

Now:

You’re likely to spot Athena at an American university, sitting in on lectures about military history or technology. She favours people who invent useful things, and will sometimes appear to reward them with magical gifts or bits of useful advice (like next week’s lottery numbers). So start working on that revolutionary new bread slicer!

Then:

Athena was one of the most active goddesses in human affairs. She helped out Odysseus, sponsored the entire city of Athens and made sure the Greeks won the Trojan War. On the downside, she’s proud and has a big temper. Just ask Arachne, who got turned into a spider for daring to compare her weaving skills to Athena’s. So whatever you do, DO NOT claim that you fix toilets better than Athena. There’s no telling what she’ll turn you into.


APHRODITE 

(A-FRO-DY’-TEE)

GODDESS OF LOVE

AND BEAUTY

Distinguishing Features:

She’s really, really pretty.

Now:

She’s more beautiful than Angelina Jolie.

Then:

She was more beautiful than Helen of Troy and because of her beauty, other gods feared that jealousy would interrupt the peace between them and lead to war. Zeus was so frightened that she would be the cause of violence between the other gods that he married her off to Hephaestus. However, she was frequently unfaithful to her husband and it was even said that Aphrodite could make any man fall in love with her if they just laid eyes on her. Now that’s power!





HERMES 

(HER’-MEEZ)

GOD OF THE ROADWAYS,

TRAVELLERS, MERCHANTS

AND THIEVES

Distinguishing Features:

Jogger’s clothes and winged athletic shoes, a mobile phone that turns into a caduceus, his symbol of power – a winged staff with two snakes, George and Martha, entwined round it.

Now:

Hermes is a hard person to find because he’s always on the run. When he’s not delivering messages for the gods, he’s running a telecommunications company, an express delivery service and every other type of business you can imagine that involves travel. Did you have a question about his activities as god of thieves? Leave a message. He’ll get back to you in a few millennia.