The Demigod Diaries (The Heroes of Olympus)(16)

“Our first kiss, Seaweed Brain,” she said. “It’s our one-month anniversary.”

“Well…yeah!” I thought: Do people celebrate stuff like that? I have to remember birthdays, holidays, and all anniversaries?

I tried for a smile. “That’s why we’re having this great picnic, right?”

She tucked her legs underneath her. “Percy…I love the picnic. Really. But you promised to take me out for a special dinner tonight. Remember? It’s not that I expect it, but you said you had something planned. So…?”

I could hear hopefulness in her voice, but also doubt. She was waiting for me to admit the obvious: I’d forgotten. I was toast. I was boyfriend roadkill.

Just because I forgot, you shouldn’t take that as a sign I didn’t care about Annabeth. Seriously, the last month with her had been awesome. I was the luckiest demigod ever. But a special dinner…when had I mentioned that? Maybe I’d said it after Annabeth kissed me, which had sort of sent me into a fog. Maybe a Greek god had disguised himself as me and made her that promise as a prank. Or maybe I was just a rotten boyfriend.

Time to fess up. I cleared my throat. “Well—”

A sudden streak of light made me blink, as if someone had flashed a mirror in my face. I looked around and I saw a brown delivery truck parked in the middle of the Great Lawn where no cars were allowed. Lettered on the side were the words: HERNIAS ARE US

Wait…sorry. I’m dyslexic. I squinted and decided it probably read: HERMES EXPRESS

“Oh, good,” I muttered. “We’ve got mail.”

“What?” Annabeth asked.

I pointed at the truck. The driver was climbing out. He wore a brown uniform shirt and knee-length shorts along with stylish black socks and cleats. His curly salt-and-pepper hair stuck out around the edges of his brown cap. He looked like a guy in his mid-thirties, but I knew from experience he was actually in his mid-five-thousands.

Hermes. Messenger of the gods. Personal friend, dispenser of heroic quests, and frequent cause of migraine headaches.

He looked upset. He kept patting his pockets and wringing his hands. Either he’d lost something important or he’d had too many espressos at the Mount Olympus Starbucks. Finally he spotted me and beckoned, Get over here!

That could’ve meant several things. If he was delivering a message in person from the gods, it was bad news. If he wanted something from me, it was also bad news. But seeing as he’d just saved me from explaining myself to Annabeth, I was too relieved to care.

“Bummer.” I tried to sound regretful, as if my rump hadn’t just been pulled from the barbecue. “We’d better see what he wants.”

How do you greet a god? If there’s an etiquette guide for that, I haven’t read it. I’m never sure if I’m supposed to shake hands, kneel, or bow and shout, “We’re not worthy!”

I knew Hermes better than most of the Olympians. Over the years, he’d helped me out several times. Unfortunately last summer I’d also fought his demigod son Luke, who’d been corrupted by the Titan Kronos, in a mortal combat smack-down for the fate of the world. Luke’s death hadn’t been entirely my fault, but it still put a damper on my relationship with Hermes.

I decided to start simple. “Hi.”

Hermes scanned the park as if he was afraid of being watched. I’m not sure why he bothered. Gods are usually invisible to mortals. Nobody else on the Great Lawn was paying any attention to the delivery van.

Hermes glanced at Annabeth, then back at me. “I didn’t know the girl would be here. She’ll have to swear to keep her mouth shut.”

Annabeth crossed her arms. “The girl can hear you. And before I swear to anything, maybe you’d better tell us what’s wrong.”

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a god look so jittery. Hermes tucked a curl of gray hair behind his ear. He patted his pockets again. His hands didn’t seem to know what to do.

He leaned in and lowered his voice. “I mean it, girl. If word gets back to Athena, she’ll never stop teasing me. She already thinks she’s so much cleverer than I am.”

“She is,” Annabeth said. Of course, she’s prejudiced. Athena is her mom.

Hermes glared at her. “Promise. Before I explain the problem, both of you must promise to keep silent.”

Suddenly it dawned on me. “Where’s your staff?”

Hermes’s eye twitched. He looked like he was about to cry.

“Oh, gods,” Annabeth said. “You lost your staff?”

“I didn’t lose it!” Hermes snapped. “It was stolen. And I wasn’t asking for your help, girl!”

“Fine,” she said. “Solve your own problem. Come on, Percy. Let’s get out of here.”

Hermes snarled. I realized I might have to break up a fight between an immortal god and my girlfriend, and I didn’t want to be on either side of that.

A little background: Annabeth used to adventure with Hermes’s son Luke. Over time, Annabeth developed a crush on Luke. As Annabeth got older, Luke developed feelings for her, too. Luke turned evil. Hermes blamed Annabeth for not preventing Luke from turning evil. Annabeth blamed Hermes for being a rotten dad and giving Luke the capacity to become evil in the first place. Luke died in war. Hermes and Annabeth blamed each other.