Tempted by Her Innocent Kiss (Pregnancy & Passion #3)(32)

“Ashley?” her mother asked in a concerned, hushed tone when they finally pulled apart. “Is everything all right? Come, sit down. You don’t even look like yourself today.”

Ashley allowed herself to be pulled over to the comfortable leather couch. It smelled like home. She settled back and immediately burrowed into the corner, allowing the familiarity to surround her like a blanket.

“I’m fine, Mama. Really. I think you were right. There’s been so much excitement and stress that when we finally got to St. Angelo I just crashed. Poor Devon was stuck taking care of me while I was insensible from the medication.”

“As he should have. I’m glad he took good care of my baby for me. Are you feeling better now? You’re pale and there are dark smudges under your eyes.”

So much for Carly’s awesome makeup tips.

“I’m better. I just wanted to come over so you wouldn’t worry. I have to go back soon. There’s a lot I need to do in our apartment to get everything squared away.”

Her mom patted her on the arm. “Of course. But first, let me fix you a nice cup of hot tea.”

“Spiced tea?” Ashley asked hopefully.

Her mother smiled. “With a peppermint.”

Ashley sighed and relaxed into the couch, more than willing to allow her mom to fuss over her and baby her before she crawled back into the real world. If only manufacturers could package a mom’s TLC into a box of bandages, they’d make millions.

Think of the marketing opportunities. Life sucks? Slap a mom bandage on and everything’s instantly better.

A few minutes later, Ashley’s mother returned carrying a tray that she set on the coffee table in front of Ashley. She handed her a cup of steaming tea and then unwrapped a peppermint that Ashley dropped into the bottom.

Ashley studied her mom as she settled back onto the couch, her own cup of tea in hand. “Mom? What happened between you and dad?”

Her mom reacted in surprise and cast Ashley a startled glance as she set her teacup back on its saucer. “Whatever do you mean, darling?”

“When you separated that time. I never asked because honestly I wanted to forget it ever happened. But now that I’m married… I just wanted to know. You two have always seemed so in love.”

Her mother’s eyes softened and she leaned forward to put her cup down on the coffee table. Then she turned and gathered Ashley’s free hand in hers.

“It’s natural for you to worry about those things now that you’re married yourself. But darling, don’t dwell on them.”

“I know, but it just seems like that if it could happen to you and Daddy that it could happen to anyone. Was he having an affair? Did you forgive him?”

“Oh, good Lord, no!” She sighed and shook her head. “I know it was difficult for you and Eric, but especially for you. I never imagined that you’d think something like that, though. I should have guessed. I was so determined not to drag you children into our mess and thought I was doing the best thing by protecting you from any of the details. I can see I was wrong.”

“What happened then?” Ashley asked softly.

“Oh it sounds so silly now. But back then I was convinced that my marriage was over. Your father was doing what he’s always done. The difference was, suddenly it wasn’t good enough for me. I began to worry. Maybe it’s normal to go through a stage where you question what you want out of a relationship or worry that perhaps your partner doesn’t love or value you anymore. Your father was working a lot of long hours. He was traveling constantly. You and Eric were adults and were going your own way and suddenly I found myself feeling quite alone and no longer valuable.”

“Oh, Mama. I wish I had known,” Ashley said unhappily. “That sounds so very awful for you.”

Her mom smiled. “It was at the time but it wasn’t entirely your father’s fault. He was caught completely off guard when he returned home only to discover that I’d moved his things out and he had to find another place to live. He begged me to tell him what was wrong, what he’d done wrong, how he could fix it. But the truth was, I didn’t even know myself. I just knew I was unhappy and that I no longer knew what I wanted from my marriage or my husband. If I didn’t know, how could he?”

“What did you do?”

“I refused to speak to him for a week. It wasn’t that I was angry. I just didn’t know what to say to him. I took that time to think about and articulate what it was I wanted to say to him. And during that time, I realized that it wasn’t him that I needed to change. It was me. I needed to find what was going to make me happy and he couldn’t do it for me.

“When I finally agreed to see him, the poor man looked like death warmed over. I felt so guilty for the way I’d made him suffer but I knew we’d never last if I couldn’t get myself together. I asked him for a period of separation. He was adamantly opposed. It wasn’t until I gently reminded him that I didn’t need his permission and that we were already separated that he backed off.”

Ashley frowned. “I always assumed…I mean I just thought that it was Daddy’s decision to move out. I always wondered if there was another woman.”

Her mom twisted her lips in a regretful frown. “Yes, it’s what Eric thought too, unfortunately. He was furious with your father. It wasn’t until I explained things to him that he calmed down. Then I think he was angry with me for making your father move out. Eric is very black-and-white.”