Sweet Addiction (Sweet #6)(88)

“I’m not too proud to beg,” Cole said hoarsely. “For you I’ll get on my knees. I’ll do or say whatever it takes to make you give me one last chance. Just one, Ren. It’s all I’ll ever ask of you again.”

CHAPTER 39

Ren stared back at the two men on their knees before her and a fresh round of tears squeezed from her already burning eyes.

“Please don’t cry,” Lucas said in a tortured voice. “You’re killing me, Ren. I’d do anything in the world not to make you cry.”

“What is it you both want to say?” she asked in a husky, strained voice.

Relief was stark in Cole’s eyes. His grip tightened around her hand but she could still feel the tremble in his fingers. He seemed terrified. Nervous. More unsure than she’d ever imagined him looking about anything.

“There’s a decision we want you to make,” Cole began.

She sucked in her breath and jerked her gaze between the two men as panic welled in her chest. Choose? She’d never be able to choose between them. How could she?

Lucas touched her cheek and wiped away the dampness from underneath her eye. “We aren’t asking you to choose between us, love. Never that. What we’re asking is if you can submit to two very dominant men.”

She looked first at Lucas and then to Cole before moving her bewildered gaze back to Lucas. “I don’t understand.”

Cole moved in closer, his hand sliding across her leg to rest on the top of her thigh. “What we’re asking isn’t easy. But then what ever is when it comes to love? If you chose to submit to us both, it would be difficult at times. We’re both demanding. You’d be pulled in opposing directions though we’d vow to work together as often as possible to alleviate any stress on you and our relationship.”

“Relationship?” she croaked. “Cole, I’m confused. What are you asking me here? Are you wanting to trade me back and forth? A week at your place then a week at Lucas’s?”

Lucas made a strangled sound and his lips came together in a thin line. “Hell no. We want you with us all the time. The both of us. What Cole is so delicately trying to say is that the three of us would enter into a relationship. Together. With you as the common glue, to put it crudely. You would be what binds us all together. We’d live together. Work out our differences. We’d swear to love you always and do everything in our power to make you happy.”

“Oh.”

It came out as a shocked whisper. It was the very last thing she’d imagined they’d say. A rush of hope so powerful that it made her dizzy blew in but close on the heels of that bittersweet emotion came doubt and a hundred questions.

“You asked me to marry you,” she whispered.

Lucas nodded. “I did. I want and need that commitment from you.”

“Then how?” she took a breath because her head had begun to pound. She rubbed at her eyes and then dug her fingers into her temples.

“We would still marry, Ren. As a couple we’d be inviting Cole into our lives. As a permanent member. Instead of one man in your bed, you’d have two. Instead of one husband, you’d essentially have two.”

Ren found Cole’s gaze, needed desperately to know his thoughts. What was he thinking? How could such an arrangement work when he was basically an outsider looking into a legal, established relationship?

“I made a mistake,” Cole said in a tortured voice before she could voice her own question. “I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted you to be happy. I swore I’d never walk away again but then Lucas came for you and I saw how that affected you. I saw how happy you were. How relieved. And then I realized that making you choose would make me the biggest ass**le in the world and I couldn’t force you to do something that would, in the end, make us all miserable. I hoped by me walking away that you could find happiness with Lucas. But I can’t let you go, Ren. I can’t be the better man here because I’m only better if I’m with you.”

Her breath left her in a silent exhale, her chest caving in at the agony in his voice. “Is this what you want? Would you be happy in such a situation? You’re okay with sharing me with another man?”

Her heart was about to beat out of her chest. So many questions. So much uncertainty. The only thing she knew for sure was that she loved both of these men, heart and soul. And if there was a way …any way …of her having a life with both, she’d be a fool to walk away, wouldn’t she?

His expression became fierce. His eyes sparked with determination and when he spoke, the conviction in his words was crystal clear.

“I love you, Ren. I love you so goddamn much I can’t sleep, I can’t eat and I’ve got a hole in my gut that’s never going away. So yeah, if I’ve got even a small chance at having a life with you? Then yeah. Hell yeah. I’d share with you Satan himself.”

“I hardly think I’m the equivalent of Satan,” Lucas said dryly.

She smiled and oh God, did it feel good. She wanted to weep again but now of all times she didn’t want to dissolve into another weepy mess. This was too important—the most important moment of her entire life.

Hesitantly she turned to Lucas. “I don’t think we should get married.”

Lucas blinked. Then his brow furrowed. He opened his mouth, no doubt prepared to argue but she put a gentle finger over his lips to silence him.