Summer Nights (Fool's Gold #8)(56)

“Seeing him again,” she continued, “has reaffirmed my decision. No regrets. Well, my lawyer not doing his job is one, but that’s all.”

Shane studied her for a few seconds. “I know you’re busy. I just wanted to say hi.”

She stood, as well. “Thanks for stopping by.”

They stared at each other. For a second she thought he was going to kiss her. She would have liked that. His arms around her, his mouth on hers. Being with Shane always felt good. Right.

But he only smiled before leaving.

“Typical man,” she muttered, then laughed. Ironically not being kissed by Shane was still more exciting than any kiss by Lewis.

* * *

CHARLIE SAT IN THE SHADE, under the big tree in Dakota’s backyard. She held baby Jordan Taylor in her arms. The afternoon was warm, the breeze light. If the best part of life was made up of perfect moments, she was living one right now.

Dakota sat across from her on the big, tattered blanket they’d spread out on the grass. Hannah leaned against her mother, her toddler fingers clutching a big, chunky puzzle piece. She tried fitting it in several spots before finding where it went. When the piece slid into place, she looked at her mother and laughed with delight.

“You are such a smart girl,” Dakota told her, then kissed the top of her head. “Look at that! You’re doing the puzzle all by yourself.”

“You’re good with her,” Charlie said, enjoying the exchange while fighting a stab of envy.

“Thanks. I will say, for the record, that despite the fact that I have a degree in child psychology, not one of my classes prepared me for what it’s really like to be a parent. I’ve been thinking of sending the university a letter and asking for a refund.”

Charlie chuckled. “I’m sure they’ll get a check right out to you.”

“I hope they will. I’ll put it toward the kids’ college funds.” Dakota glanced at her over Hannah’s head. “But that’s not why you came by, is it?”

“No.” Charlie had called a few days before to set up the meeting with Dakota. She hadn’t explained what she wanted to talk about. Now she wished she’d said something so she wouldn’t have to figure out how to deal with it now.

“Just blurt it out,” Dakota said gently. “I doubt you can shock me.”

“I used to be a man,” Charlie told her.

Dakota laughed. “I don’t believe you.”

“Okay, that’s not it, but I was hoping for a better reaction.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

She glanced down at the baby in her arms, then looked back at Dakota. “I’m thinking of adopting and I wanted to talk to you about that.”

Dakota touched her daughter’s shoulder. “Okay, that’s surprising, but in a good way. I think adoption can be wonderful, but I’m biased.” She tilted her head and tucked her shoulder-length blond hair behind her ears. “Have you been thinking about adopting for a while?”

“A few weeks. For a long time I didn’t think I wanted a family. Kids, I mean. I thought I was one of those people who just never had any desire to be a mom. But lately, I’m feeling different about the subject.” She wanted to belong. To be important to someone, to be there, no matter what. She wanted the connection, the responsibility, the joy.

“Not to get too personal, but there are more traditional ways to have a baby. I assume you know where they come from.”

Charlie grinned. “I’ve heard, yes. Storks.”

“If you put in your reservation early…” Dakota looked at her. “No man in your future?”

“I don’t think so.”

Because she couldn’t imagine being with a man that way. Not after what had happened. Besides, you couldn’t miss what you’ve never had, right?

“What if you fall madly in love? That’s what happened to me. I was so sure that I would never find the one. I moved forward on my own and look what happened.”

“If I meet some guy, that’s okay, too,” Charlie said, figuring the odds were slim.

Dakota studied her. “This is about your past.” She wasn’t asking a question. “You’re not worried you won’t find someone and fall in love. You’ve already decided you don’t want to try.”

Charlie gently rocked the baby. “Your psychology degree can be annoying.”

“You’re not the first person to tell me that. I’m not prying.”

Charlie looked at her. “You can’t pry. I came to you. I’m not mad. I just…” She looked past her to the flowers reaching for the sun. The garden was beautiful. Alive. Safe.

“I want to be like everyone else,” she murmured. “You know. Normal. But that’s not going to happen. I’m not that girl. Which means I look for alternatives. Like adoption.”

She glanced back at her friend, half expecting Dakota to scold her. Instead the other woman smiled.

“Makes sense. You’ve always been the type to take charge of your destiny. This is one more way of doing that. There are a lot of considerations when you’re adopting a child.”

“I know,” Charlie said quickly. “My work. I’m gone twenty-four hours at a time. That’s going to be tough. But I’m already talking to people about day care. I’d get someone to live in. Or take the baby to someone’s house.”