Summer Days (Fool's Gold #7)(79)

“That sounds perfect.”

* * *

LATE SATURDAY NIGHT, HEIDI was curled up in Rita’s old trailer. She remembered helping her friend re-cover the sofa with the bright floral fabric. Nelson, Rita’s gray-and-white cat, perched on the ottoman, grooming his handsome self.

Rita poured Heidi and herself a brandy, then handed over a glass.

“I remember doing this when you turned twenty-one,” Rita told her. “That was a fun night.”

“Melinda was with us. Her birthday was four months before mine, and she loved to tease me about being able to drink first.”

“Neither of you partied very much. Or got into trouble with boys.”

“We were saints,” Heidi said lightly, sipping the liquid. “Someone should have given us a plaque.”

“You still miss her.” Rita set down her glass. “I don’t need any psychic powers to figure that out. I can see it in your eyes when you talk about her.”

“She was my best friend.”

Heidi fought against the sense of betrayal she often felt when she talked about Melinda’s death. If there had been an accident, she was pretty sure she could have come to terms. But Melinda had acted deliberately. More than once. She’d taken her own life, leaving friends and family behind.

“Why weren’t we enough?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears. “We all loved her. He was just some guy. He wasn’t worth it.”

“Do any of us have the power to hurt you as much as Rafe does?”

Not a question she wanted to answer. Glen could annoy her and frustrate her. He could make her want to throw something, as when she’d found out about the money he’d taken from May. But, no, he couldn’t hurt her. His love was absolute, and she’d relied on it her whole life. No matter what, they would be there for each other.

“I don’t want to love him,” she admitted.

“You’re not like Melinda.”

Heidi sucked in a breath. Trust her friend to expose her darkest fear. “You can’t know that. What if my heart breaks as much? What if I can’t face the pain? Melinda had just as much to live for.”

“She was never strong. You were the rock in that relationship.”

“I should have gone to college with her. I could have kept those girls from bullying her, or maybe kept it from mattering so much.”

“You know that’s not true. Melinda had a sadness about her even before her heart was broken. You’re not her, and Rafe is nothing like that boy she loved.”

“You never met him. You can’t know that.”

“I know you, and I’ve watched him. He’s a good man. Confused about a few things, reluctant to risk his emotions. But once he does, he’s loyal. Kind.”

Ridiculously good in bed, but why go there.

“He doesn’t want me. He wants a perfect wife. He has a list, and I don’t meet any of his criteria.”

“He’s protecting himself, trying not to get hurt. It’s what everyone does.” Rita sipped her brandy. “Rafe wants what everyone wants. To belong. Don’t let the fear win. Embrace who you are, including your strength.”

“I want to, but I’m scared.”

“True courage is acting in the face of fear.”

“Can’t I just run instead?”

Rita smiled. “That was never your style. You’ll do what must be done, and you’ll survive.”

* * *

RAFE’S MOTHER SPREAD OUT several large sheets of paper on the kitchen table. As she put them in order, Rafe recognized the basic outline of the ranch. The house and surrounding buildings had been sketched in, along with the fence line. Places for her various animals were marked. He ignored the notations that mentioned a camel and two zebras.

“Here’s what we were thinking,” May told him, practically bouncing in her chair. “Winter homes for the carnival workers.”

She paused expectantly, as if waiting for him to be as excited as she was.

“What do you mean?” he asked, thinking of all the houses he’d planned to build. Houses he could sell for a profit to the future casino and hotel workers.

“Trailers can get cold in the winter,” Glen said, absently patting May’s butt.

Rafe immediately stared directly at the paper and did his best to shut down his peripheral vision.

“We’re not thinking anything too large. A couple of bedrooms, living room, kitchen. Bathroom and laundry. What, twelve hundred square feet? If there were plenty of space between them, there would be room for the trailers. It would be like a little town.”

May pointed to several spots on the map. “In the summer, they could be vacation rentals. That would provide income. Imagine how wonderful it would be for families to come to Fool’s Gold for a week and be able to rent a place like that. You could even build a couple of them with a third bedroom.”

“Lucky me.”

“You don’t like the idea?” His mother appeared shocked by the concept.

“It’s interesting.”

Not at all what he’d had in mind. Based on what she’d done, there would still be plenty of unused acres. So maybe he couldn’t put in as many houses as he’d first imagined, but he could still do part of the development.

“Want me to draw up some designs?” he asked.