Strings of the Heart (Runaway Train #3)(74)
“Having girlfriend or wife troubles?” When I didn’t respond, she asked, “Boyfriend troubles?”
A nervous laugh escaped my lips. “I’m not g*y.”
She shrugged. “Some guys come here when they’re trying to sort out who they are. If you want, I have the name of a club that might have more of what you need.”
I held up my hand. “Trust me, a dude is not the problem.”
Her hand came to rest on my thigh. “Then what is?”
Closing my eyes, I couldn’t believe I was not only sitting in a strip club, but I was about to unburden my troubles on a stripper. She was hardly a therapist. But for some strange f**king reason her open objectivity loosened my usually stubborn tongue. I sure as hell wasn’t one to share my feelings with just anybody, but Sierra’s willingness to listen compelled me to open up. “So you really want to know?”
She nodded. “I’m on your dime, or your fifty, right now. I’ll do whatever you want to do, including listening.”
After drawing in a deep breath, I told Sierra the whole story. Her eyes widened in a few places, and she gasped in horror. When I finished, she smacked my chest. “What the hell is your problem?”
“I’d love to know.”
“You march your ass back to that hotel room right now and beg for that girl’s forgiveness.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Yes, it is. Do you want to spend the rest of your life feeling like this?”
“Hell no.”
“Then it’s that simple.” Taking my hand in hers, she squeezed it. “Do you know how lucky you are to have someone so wonderful to love you? People search their entire lives to find it, and most end up desperately alone during the pursuit. You just have to stop being afraid of the ‘what-ifs’. The ‘what-ifs’ of this Jake guy being pissed at you or the ‘what-ifs’ of you being afraid you can’t love Allison like you should. It’ll all come together because it’s meant to be.”
As I sat there on the leather sofa with my sage stripper, I couldn’t believe how everything had fallen together. Not to mention that the catalyst for my self-discovery had been in a strip club. “You’re really wise, you know that?”
Sierra smiled. “Years of hearing people’s troubles, sugar.”
Digging into the pocket of my jeans, I coupled a hundred with the fifty I originally had. “Here. But it isn’t really enough to show you my gratitude.”
Shaking her head, Sierra took the bills from me. “While the money is nice, you’re only going to show me your gratitude by not f**king things up with this girl.” She eyed me pointedly. “Are you going to go beg her forgiveness now and tell her how much you care about her?”
I nodded my head. “Today. I swear.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear it.” Rising off the couch, she held out her hand for me. “Now get the hell out of here.”
With a laugh, I let her help me up. “Yes, ma’am.”
Leaning over, Sierra planted a kiss on my cheek. “This Allison is a lucky woman to have you.”
“I hope after everything I’ve done, she will believe that.”
“Keep the faith, sugar.”
I nodded, and then hurried out of the strip club. One glance at my phone told me I needed to haul ass back to the hotel. The car would be leaving to take us to the auditorium soon. Unfortunately, I’d given all my cash to Sierra, and my debit card was in my wallet back in the hotel room. I’d have to run to make it back on time.
After drawing in a deep breath, I started sprinting back to the hotel, but more importantly back to Allison. Now I knew I was ready. I was ready for all that would come with loving Allison. I sure as hell didn’t deserve her, but I wanted—no I had—to make her mine. As for Jake, well, he’d just have to accept that fact. After all, he was just her brother, not her father.
No, I wasn’t going to f**k up my life any longer. I needed Allison in my life, and I was going to prove to her that I could love. She had faith in me, and I would die trying to prove her right.
Chapter Fifteen
After crying myself to sleep, I woke up to Jake and Abby returning from the doctor. The diagnosis was food poisoning, which was terrible considering they had eaten with Jake’s family the night before. Even after getting fluids, they were still a little weak and collapsed into a deep sleep. After Jax and Jules woke up again, I moved their Pack ‘N Play into my room to let Jake and Abby get some more rest before their rehearsal at two.
Playing with the twins was a welcome relief to get my mind off Rhys. I truly felt like I was at a breaking point with his emotional whiplash. With the way things were at the moment, I couldn’t imagine making it through the rest of the tour. Although I would hate to let Jake and Abby down, I didn’t see how I could stay on as their nanny. I just wanted to go home. I didn’t give a shit about the internship. I just cared about my crumbling sanity that had been wrecked by Rhys. The man that I had loved for seven years and the man I’d spent time with in Savannah was not the man I saw now. He didn’t want to change, and I had to accept that.
At one¸ Jake and Abby reluctantly pulled themselves from their bed, so we could all head to the arena for rehearsal. We took the tour bus since the twins were in tow. Abby never liked for them to be far from her, so we didn’t stay back at the hotel until show time.