Smashed (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #8.5)(32)

I smiled. Shaz was more intuitive than I’d given him credit for.

I used lining up my next shot as a way to break eye contact. My answer would be truthful, but I didn’t want to look at him when I revealed it.

“I came because I needed to see her. I needed to know she was alive. That she was real.” I took the shot, sinking the eight ball early and losing the game. “I almost didn’t stay. When I saw her with you, I knew there was something there. I knew that if I stayed, that would change. And I didn’t feel that it was my right to do that to her.”

Shaz was quiet, thinking. His jaw twitched. Something like anguish trickled from him. Then it was gone.

“You did that on purpose,” he said gesturing to the game. He began to gather the balls, placing them back inside the rack. “We were just friends then. Alexa and me. How did you know? And what changed your mind about leaving?”

Ignoring his accusation, I spun the cue lightly between my fingers. “I knew the way I always know. Because she’s part of me. Even before our first night together, I knew her. As for why I didn’t leave…that’s a good question. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. We had a mission together, and I had waited so long.”

Shaz took his sweet time racking the balls, moving them and then moving them again. Finally, he stopped and said, “And here we are.”

“Yes. Here we are.”

There was a tense silence as Shaz took a large drink of beer. Then he pointed at the table. “You break.”

Aware that he was wrestling with himself about something due to our discussion, I stayed quiet and lined up to take the shot. This time I sunk the eight ball right off the break.

“Now that I did not do on purpose,” I laughed, feeling some of the tension lift when he chuckled. “What can I say? Pool just isn’t my game.”

“It’s better that you stayed,” he said, surprising me with his candid claim. “Who knows what might have happened if you hadn’t? She could have gone crazy without you and never known why.”

“She’s going crazy without me now.” It was a statement probably best left unsaid. We exchanged an awkward look that made me feel pressured to share with Shaz what he had shared with me. “It’s not just about me though. You know that, right? You’re the one who keeps her from being consumed by her dark side. The balance between. It’s always been you.”

He ducked his blond head, avoiding my gaze when he muttered, “Don’t bother, Arys. If Alexa thought she needed me, she wouldn’t be pushing me away.”

His flippant tone was meant to mislead, but it didn’t work on me. Regardless of all that both Alexa and I had dealt with over the last year, it was perhaps Shaz who had suffered greatest of all. He was no victim of circumstance though. His role was vital.

“Shaz,” I paused, turning the pool cue, choosing my words. “Alexa loves you more than anything. She thinks the only way to give you a happily ever after is to push you into finding it with someone else. I, however, think that’s a mistake. She needs you. Don’t give up on her.”

His platinum head snapped up, and there was confusion written all over his face. “Are you serious right now? Wouldn’t you love a chance to get rid of me?”

I snickered and shoved him aside so I could rack the balls for another game. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? Look, I’m not going to tell you what to do. If you want to move on, build a fairytale life with someone else, then I wish you all the best. But if you want her, and you can accept her as she is now, then I ask only that you cut her some slack. Give her some time.”

“Why me?” He asked suddenly. “Why are you only willing to share her with me?”

I motioned for him to take a shot. He resisted at first, as if he might hold out until I’d answered. When I stayed quiet, he let out his breath in a huff and hit the cue ball. Then he held up his hands in a demanding gesture.

“I told you before, pup. She was meant to love you whether I lived in her lifetime or not.”

“And?”

“And I trust you to protect her.” Admitting it felt like showing him a vulnerability. It made me uncomfortable.

Shaz scoffed and signaled the waitress for one more beer. “I’m pretty sure Alexa can protect herself just fine.” He laughed until he saw my expression and then sobered immediately. “Oh. You mean if…hey, Arys, nothing is going to happen to you. I’m pretty sure you’re unkillable. Besides, I’ll die of old age long before that.”

“Well,” I mused. “You don’t have to.”

A warning flashed across his face. “Don’t even go there. I’d rather be dead than be what you are. No offense.”

“This conversation has taken a depressing turn. Hasn’t it?”

We shared a laugh, and I found myself enjoying it more than I wanted him to know. It was quite possible that over the last year I’d grown to feel more than respect for him. Hell, I suspected I might actually like him.

Before I could steer the conversation in a lighter direction, Shaz was approached by the other wolf. He sauntered up with a sneer, his intent evident in his cocky stride. He eyed me warily.

“Do you think it’s a good idea for you to be in here?” He asked Shaz, trying to draw himself up to the younger wolf’s height. “The point of Alexa leaving the pack was the safety of this town. You went with her. So what the hell are you doing in here with her vampire?”